<p>Hi parents! I was just wondering if ya'll could give me advice about my current situation:</p>
<p>I'm going to be a freshman this fall at South Dakota State University (which I think is ranked by USNWR in the national universities category...not that I care :rolleyes:...lol.) I've had a really rough time in High School so obviously I didn't perform to my fullest potential. I initially was going to go to a Community College (CC) and transfer to my state flagship or elsewhere but things came up and I won't be going to a CC for the sake of convenience, my mother yelling at me and not having to live at home. ANYWAYS, my mom keeps on calling me a low life for going to a "State University" in SOUTH DAKOTA as she puts it & she keeps on haunting me literally everyday about how it's my fault for not studying higher and she compares me to my cousin that got into top colleges. I was going to go to Seton Hall University in NJ initially but they gave me terrible financial aid and although I was kind of pressured by by sister to attend SHU I won't b/c it's totally not worth the risk taking on 100k+ in debt. But, my mom says "too bad you didn't study hard enough to get a scholarship". Although I'm kind of content going to SDSU and making the most of my time there + getting high grades (since I learned my lesson...I don't want to be in a bad position when it comes for internships/grad. school/jobs).</p>
<p>So the bottom line is ...how can I get my mother off of my case about what college I'm going to? I keep on telling her that it's the person that makes it count, not the college name. Plus, I plan on transferring after 2 years so it's NBD. Or should I just not let it get to me and prove her + everyone else wrong?</p>
<p>Any advice would be highly appreciated, thanks.</p>
<p>Where did she get her college degree from? Srsly, you just have to let it go in one ear and out the other. There’s nothing you can do about past performance now, but you can concentrate on doing your best at SDSU and becoming a productive adult. You’ve got a month left till you move in and have stop hearing that; deep breathing and positive thoughts will get you through!</p>
<p>So sorry that you’re dealing with this but I am so glad that you turned down SH and made the wise financial choice!</p>
<p>@RobD: My mom went to SUNY-Old Westbury. I totally agree! SHU isn’t worth the debt at all…I wouldn’t be able to have a life after graduation…which is totally ridiculous. I guess she’s she disappointed that I didn’t get into Hahhvaahd I move in the end of august so I’m just putting up with this until I leave.</p>
<p>@rodney: yupp & thank you! i appreciate it.</p>
<p>My major professor in grad school went to SDSU. He’s one of the most well-known names in tobacco research in the world now. Just do well once you get there and you will prove your mother wrong. Enjoy your time at SDSU!</p>
<p>You will get a great education at SDSU,
I graduated from SDSU as did my sister,
We are both happy successful people.
She went on to get a Phd, and if you take
statistics anywhere in the country, you may
be using one the statistics textbooks she coauthored.
As a professor at a much ‘fancier university’ she was not
impeded by her ‘State U’ background whatsoever.
The Governor I interned with did not complain about my
‘State U’ background either.</p>
<p>I also have many classmates who went on to grad school
at Purdue, UMinn, UT etc., They did just fine.</p>
<p>SDSU is affordable, with small class sizes and professors
who will remember you 5-10 yrs later.
Massive debt to satisfy Mommies ego is not worth it.
Have a successful college career, have fun, lead a happy successful life -
she can take credit for that.</p>
<p>Best of Luck
Go Jacks!!!</p>
<p>PS, Make sure you try a ‘Big Horn’ at Jim’s Tap,
and yes - the ‘Legend of the Campanile’ is true.</p>
<p>Are you getting student loans for your education? I’m wondering if (taking the manner of delivery out of this discussion for a minute) your mom is concerned that going to an out-of-state school and paying out-of-state tuition is not a good value in this case. I don’t know anything whatsover about South Dakota, or where you live and what your state choices are, I’m just asking. I know that with my kids, I am reluctant to pay for an out-of-state school when we have a perfectly good State University right here unless they participate in the Academic Common Market, or demonstrate a really good reason to pay the difference.</p>
<p>Does your state participate in a tuition reciprocity agreement with other states? It’s a great way to get some of your GS requirements out of the way if you can find a major that works for you. It can save lots of $$$, and make an out-of-state choice an educational bargain.</p>
<p>Anyway, the low life and loser comments are clearly not productive or accurate for that matter. Congratulations on getting your act together! I’m the most proud of my kids when they suffer a setback and come back stronger.</p>
<p>SDSU, the bad news.
The SDSU Dairy Micro program operates a tiny R&D ice cream plant on campus.
The ice cream is sold on campus, and its very inexpensive.
It’s the best ice cream made. No joke, it wins international contests every year.
It will test your self control.</p>
<p>OP, you’ve come a long way in maturity since you began posting on CC and I think you’ll do well at SDSU. As others have advised let it go in one ear and out the other. You have nothing to be ashamed of.</p>
<p>rpm–SDSU is one of the most affordable schools around. COA for a MN resident is around $14,616 which is comparable to many of her instate choices.</p>
<p>OP,
You are correct, your mom is wrong. My D. graduated #1 from her HS and went proudly to state school and just as proud to be Summa Cum Laude graduate from her state UG, where she had experiences well beyond hers and our expectations. </p>
<p>On the other hand I have no idea how to convince your mother to stop torturing you. It is really personal family business that I am afraid nobody could help you with. Just try to shut it off, ignore, do your best, it is your life, not your mom’s. If you do well at any place, you will have a bright future. My D. is surrounded by others from Ivy’s and Elite schools at her Medical School. They ended up at the same place. My D. did not have to go to elite school to achieve her goal.</p>
<p>As a mom of a student going off to school this year, I’m proud of you. You recognize your mistakes, made a wise financial choice, are working to make the best life for yourself, and you are doing your best to keep peace within your family. I hope you’re proud of yourself as well.</p>
<p>Looks like it is cheaper for a Minnesota resident to attend South Dakota State than to attend University of Minnesota, if one has to pay full list price (of course, financial aid policies may result in different net cost for each student).</p>
<p>Minnesota has full tuition reciprocity with South Dakota. As a consequence, total COA for a Minnesota resident at SDSU is actually quite a bit lower than instate COA at our state flagship, the University of Minnesota, which is $23,058. The two figures aren’t quite comparable because SDSU’s published Minnesota resident COA figure of $14,616 doesn’t include anything for personal/miscellaneous expenses (which Minnesota puts at $2,000) or travel/transportation, and it’s maybe a little light on the cost of books. But even adjusting for all that, it’s actually cheaper for a Minnesota kid to attend SDSU than UMN.</p>
<p>I’ve known a number of kids from the Twin Cities area who have gone to public universities in either North or South Dakota. Sometimes they didn’t have the grades or test scores to get into more competitive schools (including our own state flagship), sometimes they went for particular programs (e.g., aviation at U. North Dakota), sometimes they just wanted to be a little farther from home, or liked the cost (tuition reciprocity combined with lower room & board costs), or had family ties to the state (lots of migrants from the Dakotas in the Twin Cities). Generally they’ve had positive experiences. They’re not blockbuster academic schools, but they’re not “loser schools,” either. If you work hard, choose courses and professors well, and set ambitious-but-achievable academic goals for yourself, you can get a decent education at SDSU or almost any reputable public university. Thousands and thousands of people do every year. Good luck! And use your mother’s taunting as motivation to prove just how wrong she is!</p>
<p>Your mother is using shame to motivate you.
She also is making it perfectly clear she is disappointed you didn’t do better in high school and using insults to keep you from repeating a poor performance in college.
Hope you got plenty of self esteem and thick skin.</p>
<p>Say to your mom, “You really make me feel bad when you refer to me as a loser–it makes me question my own abilities. I understand you hoped for better for me than SDSU but, going forward, I plan to work hard and take advantage of all that my new school has to offer. I am looking forward to a fresh start. Your encouragement is important to me and it would really help my outlook if you could wipe the slate clean and support me as I reinvent myself and stop dwelling on the past.” Then, go embrace your future as the bright, positive, young person your posts in this thread show you to be.</p>
<p>By the way, for anyone who’s interested, OOS tuition at SDSU is very reasonable, at $5,472 per year. That’s only $864 more than Minnesotans pay and $1824 more than South Dakotans pay. They show a total OOS COA of $15,480, but you’d need to add something for personal/miscellaneous expenses and travel. Still it should come in under $20K—in many states, cheaper than your in-state flagship. And they give FA to OOS students, too. </p>
<p>SDSU is NOT a selective school, but if your stats are not that great and you want to go someplace affordable, check it out, at least as a safety.</p>
<p>I’m sorry. Parents are not perfect. Some of us have problems; all of us have problems but some of us have worse problems and are not always good parents. </p>
<p>You are going to be an adult soon if you are not one already. I tell all of my kids that you can’t control how others act and what they say, for the most part, but you can control yourself. That is where your efforts should lie since is where the control is and really what you are taking with you for the rest of your life. Many of us come from less than ideal family situations.</p>
I move in the end of august so I’m just putting up with this until I leave.</p>
I remember seeing them the same year my son marched in the Rose Parade. </p>