<p>You are so amazing! Especially in light of the kind of parenting you’ve had to cope with. You sound mature and wise beyond your years. </p>
<p>Maybe your mom wants the best for you (we can’t really know), but no, contrary to what some have said, not all parents want the best for their kids. There are some seriously messed up adults who live through their kids, or use their kids to feed their mental issues, who put their own struggle for wellbeing ahead of their children, who really can not separate out their own needs (ego, pride, fear) from the needs of their offspring. And who are simply abusive. If your mom is in fact calling you a lowlife, it is abusive and its wrong. </p>
<p>It’s one thing to wish and dream for your kids, or maybe feel disappointed when those dreams do not come true, but quite another to berate and shame them (and one can’t even call this motivational since its water under the bridge…you can’t go back and redo your school performance). </p>
<p>Each tiem your mom brings it up, be armed with a positive statement and walk away. “Mom, I did the best I could do.” Just like she did the best she could do (she probably didn’t go on scholarship, she didn’t go to top x school, she didn’t earn enough to cover your tuition). But don’t bring up this last part-- I’m just thinking out loud. </p>
<p>And I would like to point you probably DID do the best you could do at the time. What I mean by that is I’m weary of all those on this board that simplistically treat ‘school performance’ as if its simply will to do it or not. What does it even mean to ‘live up to your potential’? One’s potential IQ? What about personality? Drive? Who you are isn’t just your IQ but also your motivation. In a given time and place, you did what you could do with the resources you have and the motivation you can muster. As a human being, you can not just snap your fingers and perform like a circus seal. Anyone who thinks its that easy to be high achieving probably is not. Even the most successful of us have struggled with performance. Few are blessed with super abilities AND drive 24/7. We all have good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks. 99.99% of us are not ‘working at capacity’. We are who we are. And as a teenager, there is so much else in the mix, whether it’s hormones, life changes, screwed up family dynamics, bad teachers and schools, mental struggles, maturity, role models, esteem, undiagnosed learning disabilities and so on. So for anyone to judge a kid and say “you can do better than that!” who are they to know? Relative to what? Their personal goals? What they would do now as adults? What they did as kids? Or what they personally THINK you <em>should be</em> capable of? It’s absurd for anyone to suggest any one student should get XX GPA as if it is just a matter of doing it or not. </p>
<p>She will get over it. Meanwhile don’t let her bring you down. This is about her, not you. And aren’t you going to live with your aunty soon? I hope so!!</p>