<p>I want to acknowledge that "oppressed" was a poor choice of words. I don't know lots of people at Pepperdine, but I happen to have a set of relatives who have all gone there. They are very strong evangelical Christians; it infuses every part of their lives. One of them turned down an athletic scholarship to Stanford in favor of Pepperdine for that reason. But none of them would knowingly "oppress" anybody, and they have never been anything other than warm and welcoming to me and my family, notwithstanding our definite non-Christianity.</p>
<p>fendrock: Exactly. Since the OP is familiar with an Evangelical environment, he can probably navigate it better than (for instance) I would, and he can hang with the doubting crowd that certainly exists both places.</p>
<p>OK, I want to make a confession; My Kids are Christian and we (parents) are not....at least that's what they tell us....I've been watching this thread a bit and am butting in here to confess that while we had really budgeted for our good state schools, we were not really willing top pay private school tuition at many of the Christian schools my D's friends were applying to. We were on the fence about Pepperdine, but didn't have to deal with it because in the end she chose a "secular" school, that while private, we WERE willing to pay for. I DO feel a little guilty about this, but I think we felt this way about anything but the criteria WE felt were worth getting a second job and risking my second child's college fund for. I just didn't find HER criteria that compelling. Now she is having second thoughts about her choice ( not sure if it has anything to do with the secular thing). I'm sure this happens to many freshman, but it makes me even more certain that an expense like that should be based on something that withstands the test of time. OTOH, I'm NOT sure I can imagine FORCING my child to be immersed in a setting they didn't buy into. But I wouldn't feel compelled to fork over 200k for something that went against my values..</p>
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I just didn't find HER criteria that compelling.
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<p>shrinkrap, I can definitely imagine a scenario like this one -- I wouldn't permit my child to apply to a school where I didn't feel s/he would get the appropriate education, or that the education provided wasn't worth the premium tuition required.</p>
<p>It's different to veto one school than to insist on applying only to a prescribed category of schools, however.</p>
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So I'm applying to college, and my parents really want me to go to a strongly Christian school, but I'm not religious at all. Are there any good Christian colleges that wouldn't really force the religion upon me? If so, what are the academics like? Would I have to spend a lot of time taking religious studies classes?
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<p>Seems the parents are requiring "a strong Chrisitian school" but that's not very clear.</p>
<p>JHS--</p>
<p>I agree that it is easier to be "hands off" when the parent isn't paying for all of college. To me, that suggests that the parent set a limit that requires the student to bring something to the table in the form of savings, college job and/or scholarships or student loans. Then, the student and the parent are joint venturing the process.</p>
<p>I also agree that fundamental disagreements can test the "hands off" philosopy, but some of us have seen (or experienced) the result of the emotional blackmail by the parents and would rather have a true relationship with our child than coerced control. </p>
<p>My close in-law had his parents walk out of his life over his living arrangement in college and they have never met their grandchildren born to the couple in the years after they married. The man paid the remainder of his college and all medical school without any help from his parents.</p>
<p>However, the mother of this man's father (the great grandmother of these later born kids) remained in very close contact with the "disowned" male, his wife and their kids and referred to her own son as a jerk who wanted everyone to live his way.</p>
<p>To OP: You are in a very difficult situation. </p>
<p>If your available alternatives are a) strongly christian college or b) no college at all, then I would advise you to consider looking at the christian colleges with an open mind. Would you (as a non-believer) be able to get a decent education there without being miserable for 4 years? If (and only if) the answer is yes, I would say: "Go for it". </p>
<p>One possibility is that your parents are bluffing and that if you steadfastly refuse to go to Christian college they will eventually come around to letting you go to a non-parochial college. You could try to call their bluff but then if it isn't a bluff you will have to wait until you can fund your own college education.</p>
<p>As an atheist parent, if my child decided she wanted to apply to a 'strong Christian' or even a 'strong Islamic' school, I would have a lot of problems, but eventually I would probably support her. But it may be that atheists are, by nature, more open minded than religious people.</p>
<p>07DAD, there's a lot of real estate between what I'm talking about and "emotional blackmail" or "coerced control".</p>
<p>Basically, my parents had a very short list of colleges I was allowed to apply to. We talked about it once, the conversation lasted less than five minutes, and I have barely thought about it since then. Apart from not letting me apply to colleges in California those were pretty much the colleges in which I was interested anyway. My wife was told she had to be within 4-5 hours of home, but home was in western Massachusetts, and there wasn't any place she cared about outside that radius. (And in that case the limitation had nothing to do with home. When her family had lived in Florida, her older siblings had been told to pick a college in the Northeast.)</p>
<p>With our kids, my wife blackballed three or four LACs she had irrational bad associations with (although she officially un-blackballed one of them late in the process with our second child, when there was no chance he would apply). That hardly exhausted the list of colleges we wouldn't be happy about paying for; they just seemed like the only ones worth mentioning. Except for that, our kids made their college decisions on their own, but neither one got anywhere near the line, because, basically, we had raised them, and they had updated, personalized versions of their parents' prejudices and values.</p>
<p>If one of them had announced he wanted to go to Pepperdine or Grove City . . . I guess we all would have found out how open-minded I am. (Less than advertised.)</p>
<p>I'm not a parent (don't know why I'm in their forum lol), but I'll give you my advise anyways. I would apply to Jesuit schools if I were you because I hear that their religious presence is weak. I'm an atheist and I'm applying to 3 of them!</p>
<p>Jesuit schools can offer a wonderful education - and generally are as religious as you let them be (not that this Santa Clara alum has any bias or anything :) )</p>
<p>The likelihood is that the OP's parents will not consider Catholic schools to be "Christian." Evangelicals often do not consider Catholics to be "Christian." (Which I find bizarre, but that's the way it is.)</p>
<p>Which will be a problem, since places like Grove City and Wheaton are agressively "Christian." Pepperdine seems like a better fit. Another possibility that the OP might be able to sell to the parents would be schools such as St. Olaf and Ohio Wesleyan, which maintain a tie to their founding Protestant denomination and take religion seriously--Lutheran, in St. Olaf's case, Methodist in OWU's--but don't demand conformity.</p>
<p>There is a big difference among and between:</p>
<p>-Schools with historic denominational affiliation (Duke was founded by Mehtodists, but is not a Methodist University)</p>
<p>-Schools with current association with a denomination (Albion college is assiciated with the United Methodists)</p>
<p>-Christian schools that "teach from a Christian perspective" and may have a rule that they "Hire as full-time faculty members and administrators only persons who profess faith in Jesus Christ." </p>
<p>If the OP would care to share with us the types of schools that the parents consider acceptable, we may be able to be more helpful.</p>
<p>Depending on which Christian schools your parents will allow you to attend, it may not be a bad thing. Different schools have varying degrees of "religiousness." I attended two Catholic colleges (Villanova and UScranton) and aside from having to take a couple religion courses (which were NOT courses on the Catholic religion but very interesting comparative religion courses) there was nothing "religious" about my experience at all. I never attended services, never discussed religion with anyone, and never felt pressured in any way. What types of schools do your parents have in mind?</p>
<p>Ironically, I'm guessing this requirement might be in place because of, not in spite of the fact that the OP isn't religious. It makes sense if your goal is for your kid to come out of college strongly Christian--while a strong believer can keep to their faith in a secular environment, a "non-believer" is more likely to become enmeshed in secular culture.</p>
<p>OP, if you think that's the case, you might want to consider recanting your statement of non-belief. Lying to your parents sucks, but assuming they won't settle for a Jesuit or other liberal Christian college it might be the best way to get the environment you want for school. Try emailing Christian groups at the schools you're interested in; I'm sure you'll find some hard-core members willing to tell you (and by extension, your parents) that they've kept strongly to their beliefs at college and they love it there. Also play on your parents' other priorities, whatever they might be, and talk schools up in light of those priorities.</p>
<p>Saying you don't want to go to a Christian school because it's not what you believe is only going to reinforce their fears, IMO, so ignore that angle until the last possible point.</p>