@riverbirch - “Public school dorms?” I was in a private school, co-ed by room on the hall. One night there was a fire drill. Out of each room came…one guy and one girl!
Agree – this is no better in private schools.
This thread certainly has a different attitude toward the non-sexing roommate than the other thread.
I’ve got a tale about my bf staying overnight and my roommate’s as well.
Not all nocturnal noises are active sex. But sometimes even the giggles and murmurs are aggravating.
The HS friend with the similar issue of roommate having sex while he was also in the room was also attending a private university(Think JHU, Northwestern, Columbia, or Cornell).
As an aside, I kinda regret not suggesting adding Weird Al’s Headline News (Self-explanatory):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdTwGr1l954
or
Barney and Friends:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92Ek4U-LLM4
Then again, my friend may not have gone for the Barney songs as that’d constitute self-torture which wasn’t what he had in mind.
Especially considering he turned down my suggestion to add Vanilla Ice. Seems like he felt that went way too far beyond bounds…especially considering he’ll be subjected to the horridness along with the roommate and his latest sex partner du jour…
He asked about using AC/DC, Green Day, Offspring, Nirvana, Soundgarden or Coolio…but the rest of us nixed those as we knew of several dorm neighbors at our respective colleges who’d blast those artists’ songs to enhance their sexual experimentation. We figured…why encourage them with good music. 
My daughter’s public school suite was not a free-for-all. This behavior depends on the students… not whether a school is public or private… and it happens in both types of schools.
No harm in talking to the roommate - but the chance of that working is roughly zero. Still, a reasonable start. No harm talking to the RA - but lawyering up and working with a trained mediator? Maybe she could file an OSHA complaint too. Seems excessive when a little pointed mischief would suffice.
Maybe time for a pet therapy dog… A posessive one 
It’s really, really hard for a person with a boyfriend/girlfriend and one who doesn’t have one to share a room with any sort of fairness.
I wonder whether these two girls might know another pair of roommates in a similar situation or whether the RA might know of one. A room switch – putting the two people with SOs together and the two single people together – might make life more comfortable for everyone.
SOs come and go so any roommate switch to align along those lines seems fleeting.
I agree, @doschicos, but at least you’d be putting together two people who have been inconvenienced by the presence of their roommates’ SOs. So when one of them does find a partner – as is almost inevitable at some point during college – she would be likely to have some appreciation of her roommate’s needs.
I get the sense a few here (a couple of males?) just want to have fun with this issue. I don’t think that reflects the effect on OP’s daughter.
OP’s D needs to speak with the other. If needed, bump it to the RA. If that RA can’t help resolve, then it goes higher. Mom may need to confirm her impressions, but if this is real and continuing, no reason to let it slide or hope things just get better on their own.
Your daughter’s roommate sounds like a typical free-from-parental-watchful-eyes hedonist, using this new found freedom to hook up. And hedonists only care about themselves, so your D is in for a rough ride.
While I did strongly object to the bf that moved in (not a student, no other residence), I would be careful with my advice about visitors or even having the room to oneself for some extracurricular activities. Anything you demand of a roommate, you must also demand of yourself. So, yeah, the new hot and heavy boyfriend might be annoying right now, but do you really want to place a bunch of restrictions on a roommate’s guests before knowing how your own social life will pan out? No sex when the other is present seems like a no-brainer, but think hard about other rules. Is there a chance, in the future, you might want the roommate to leave for a while so you can have some privacy? Think you might ever have a friend, male or female, your roommate isn’t crazy about?
Not to mention the first quoted comment assumes the roommate who has an issue with the roommate having sex in the room is the one with the problem, not the other party who IMO is the one who first breached basic common courtesy.
I don’t know about some of the commenters here, but I don’t know too many folks…even those who are fine with hookups in undergrad being thrilled with finding themselves with a roommate who lacks common courtesy and consideration to such an extent s/he’d be willing to have sex while the roommate’s IN THE ROOM.
Even those who have SOs themselves such as the HS friend who requested the Weird Al Mixed tape after his roommate proved himself to be a flaming jerk when he initially tried to resolve the issue through discussion. Since the roommate was the initial aggressor by not asking if my friend was ok with what he did and then clearly escalated the issue into a conflict, my friend IMO was well within his rights to retaliate…and have a bit of fun in doing so at the flaming jerk’s expense…
And before anyone brings it up, the RA in my friend’s case proved to be completely useless and threw the issue back to my friend to solve by himself.
One of my kids had this problem, and even weighed the roommate as part of his final college decision. He Didn’t know the guy very well ahead of time, but they were friendly and he seemed like a good match. The couple lasted ALL YEAR, but broke up over the summer. I do think it negatively impacted my kid’s college experience. He eventually spoke up for himself, but it was a hard thing to deal with as a freshman. He was expecting someone to hang with and try new things with, and the guy pretty much only hung out with his GF, and she spent almost all nights in their Small room for months before my son spoke up.
“He was expecting someone to hang with and try new things with”
Even if the roommate doesn’t have a GF/BF, I think it best that students don’t go in fantasizing about being pals with their roommate because it sets expectations way too high. One should hope to just get along and live in relative harmony. Anything else is gravy.
If you are filling out a detailed questionnaire to be matched with a similar personality, then you have an expectation that you and your roommate will be on good terms. University housing asks applicants about their level of neatness, interests, and music preferences, perhaps they should begin asking students how they feel about adult-style sleepovers?
I can’t believe nobody has mentioned “The Sure Thing” yet. If y’all haven’t seen this 1980s hidden gem starring John Cusack, I highly recommend it. And it details one solution to this problem (that is as old as dorms themselves).
I always chuckle at some of the questions on those questionnaires because a) many 18 year olds aren’t very self-aware and b) for those living away from home for the first time, cleanliness, neatness, and sleep habits might be very different when parents aren’t hovering over you and you are no longer under mom and dad’s roof and rules.
I was in my 40’s and was manager of store that belonged to a famous nationwide retail chain. Every year there was a meeting somewhere in the country and all managers had to attend. The company was frugal & we all had to share a hotel room with another person. I got matched up with a guy I didn’t know. The first thing he told me when we met in the room was “My girlfriend will be spending a few nights with us.” So this isn’t just a college thing.