<p>By the way, I followed Marite's advice and tried to summarize a lot of the points that everyone has made. I thought it would help me in my conversation with the school. I must thank Junebug for starting this thread it really has been very insightful.</p>
<p>I also sent my son a snail mail card and told him we loved him and missed him. Nothing else. Just those words. I'm trying to give him a little space.</p>
<p>
[Quote]
I did try to reach him but I always got a recording and I just wasn't comfortable leaving a message
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</p>
<p>Re: messages</p>
<p>I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but if you want a return call, it's best to leave as little detail as possible. For example "This is Jane Smith, my son Bob has you as an advisor and I would appreciate it if you would call me at 555-5555 as soon as convenient." It is human nature to begin wondering and make the return call to satisfy curiousity. If you give a lot of info in the message, there may be less motivation to return the call.</p>
<p>Good news! The Assoc. Dean called . . . and on a Saturday to boot! I was certainly impressed and he made me feel like they really care about their students. He was very reassuring and told me that there are lots of other Engineering students doing much worse and that my son is not currently in danger of losing his scholarship. Hurrah! </p>
<p>He said there was a faculty member who did counseling on time management through the engineering dept. and I said I thought that would be great for my S. He is also going to talk with one of my son's professors to see how they feel he is handling classwork, etc. Then after talking with the professor, he would decide how to approach the situation at that point and would possibly call my S. in for a conference. </p>
<p>I feel SO much better. I feel confident that the school is going to give him the support and encouragement he needs and hopefully allow him to be more focused on his schoolwork. The Assoc. Dean said he would not let my son know that I had called unless he asked him directly and then he would have to be honest with him. I said that was fair. </p>
<p>Thanks to everyone for your support and prayers! I will let you know how things turn out.</p>
<p>Good news for you! I am so glad. I am happy to hear that you didn't ask for confidentiality......this is the best way for you to do your thing and still allow your son to do his thing. Keep us posted. Did you have a good weekend away? Certainly having this conversation must have made it all the better.</p>
<p>Chopper:</p>
<p>It's such great news! Not only is it reassuring on the substantive issue--your son's performance--, but also in terms of the support and care the college is providing. What a nice dean!</p>
<p>For whatever reason, Assoc Deans do seem to be the best parent resources....I had a feeling your son was not struggling as badly as you imagined.</p>
<p>Great news though. Not sure about your screenname though. Reminds me of Mark Reed and the movie called "Chopper'! You seem much nicer ;).</p>
<p><a href="http://www.chopperread.com/%5B/url%5D">http://www.chopperread.com/</a></p>
<p>Great news, Chopper!</p>
<p>Excellent progress, Chopper, best of luck to your son, it is good to have your mind more at ease.</p>
<p>Great news, Chopper:D</p>
<p>I am sure that you can hear a collective sigh of releif</p>
<p>Chopper, I am so glad to hear that you feel better, and hopefully you can relax a bit. I thought calling was the right thing to do at the time, and it seems like it was. I would have called too. Be well!</p>
<p>Chopper, </p>
<p>I, too, am glad that things are better than you had feared, and that you have gotten some good support from the administration! I have a freshman this year too, and have been on pins and needles from previous conversations with him about his school work; finally today in our weekly talk I hear that things are much better over all. Sometimes I think it is easy to have exaggerated fears of our own, and to hear exaggerated things from the kid. I surely have! </p>
<p>Will keep you in my prayers!</p>
<p>Thank you all so much. I was able to have a nice weekend away since the phone call from the Assoc. Dean came literally as I was walking out the door with coat in hand. I must say it has to be all those prayers--God's timing is always best. </p>
<p>As an added happy note. . . my son called today ON HIS OWN! I had not spoken to him all week as I told him I would not bother him and he could call when he wanted to talk. I was thrilled to hear from him and I was on my best behavior and didn't ask about grades at all. ; ) He said he was taking a break from studying. . . yea!</p>
<p>Cheers = The screen name chopper was because I always seem to be on the go zipping from here and there, not staying down for long, kinda like a chopper. I'm not very imaginative...it was the best I could come up with!</p>
<p>That's okay. I've got you pictured as a big beefy bloke with tatoos. :o</p>
<p>I am thinking good thoughts for you........keep in mind that the adjustment may still be hard on your son, be watchful and also patient. Thinking you are smart and well prepared and having a wakeup call can be hard to accept. I am sure that being happy in his social life will help him get through the tough curriculum. Thanks again for the updates.......you were certainly on all our minds.</p>
<p>"Chopper"...oh...and here I had visions of a motorcycle rider. Back to the imaginative drawing board.</p>
<p>The Dad,</p>
<p>That's funny. . . I never thought about the images that screen name might invoke. Actually the last time I was on a motorcycle was back in college. . . I had a boyfriend who rode one (mostly because it was cheaper than a car). Now, of course, if my kids ever ask to ride on one, I'll be like "NO WAY!" Ha.
Guess I've grown into an old fuddy dud.</p>
<p>Yuppy Harley gal.....that was my vision. I guess I was imagining you were one of the yups who married a guy who wished he'd had a Harley before and got one when he turned 50. Oh well.</p>
<p>LOL !!!!!!!</p>
<p>Hazmat. . . I've got you picured in head to toe white Hazardous Material gear saving the world from mysterious white powders. . . am I close???</p>