<p>Here's the deal. I'm in my 4th semester at UB (Buffalo). I literally have no friends. Sure, I have people I meet with on campus for an hour or so, but that's it. I'm not really shy, I talk to people, I'm friendly, etc. It's just when I pick up my phone, I have NOBODY to call just to talk or hang out.</p>
<p>In high school I had a group of 5-6 friends but I was on good terms with the whole grade. Now it seems like I'm always alone... eating alone, working alone, everything alone. My schedule is this: Wake up, classes, that's it.</p>
<p>I guess the problem is that I never lived in the dorm, I've always had an apartment. But I really don't know what to do, it's too late to transfer as well in my opinion. Even if I did transfer, I don't want to have to re-do even another semester.</p>
<p>So, not sure what I'm really asking. Just needed to get this out.</p>
<p>Plenty of threads about have been circulating on this very topic in the past few weeks. Everyone’s advice has to be join a club and pretty much force yourself but in a non awkward way on someone lol.</p>
<p>I think rymd is being sarcastic. Definitely not living in dorms limits meeting people. Join activities on campus and make yourself go to them. Get involved in all of the activities and make sure you are always there early so you can catch people to say hi as they enter. If you do activities, try to get in the cars with people who are really outgoing. You will have to make a lot of effort- rymd is right in that friends will not just come to you.</p>
<p>"How so? Most of the friends I have made so far are in student organizations that I joined. "</p>
<p>You’ve been at school 2 weeks. The people you meet in the beginning of freshmen year usually aren’t your friends by second semester. Club people are typically people you do club related things with, maybe go out. I rarely go out with the people in my clubs, with the exception being my sorority. Every once in a while we grab drinks after an event, but that’s about it. I met my friends through friends, in the DSA, at parties, in class and bars. With the exception of greek organizations, few people I know have met good friends from joining student groups.</p>
<p>I’m going through the same. All you can do is continue to do what you do. And to those who say “join clubs, it’s that simple!”, it’s actually not. I’ve joined 2 clubs and while I’ve met people it’s merely a “hey, what’s up?” not do you want to hang out thing. Just believe that everything happens for a reason and see what happens. I know it’s so pessimistic especially coming from a first month freshman, but I’m not trying anymore. College is simply overrated. I have one amazing acquaintance here and she make sure she involves me in everything. </p>
<p>I’m basically just letting stuff flow. I’m not trying anymore because I’m clearly wasting my time. I eat alone majority of the time (when I eat w/someone I eat with my acquantince), study alone, everything alone. I have my people I say “hey” to but that’s about it. And like Tiff said, when second semester starts and it’s time to reselect new classes, I doubt I’ll be saying “hey” to the people I’ve been seeing first semster.</p>
<p>If you’re religious (or even if you’re not), try to go to a ministry that’s not too crazy and hang out there. They’re usually pretty good about being friendly and open to taking in new people. That’s how I’ve met my core group of friends here.</p>
<p>Designated smoking area freshmen year. And greek life. Pretty much 90% of my friends I met through people I met at the DSA or greek life. About 15 friends I have now I met through my best friend freshmen year, who I met at the DSA. The other random way I met friends was a Pittsburgh Sports Fan group on fb. We still all meet up to watch the Steelers and Penguin games, usually at sports bars, and hang out outside of games. </p>
<p>The bars we go to are all offcampus. We either use public transit or carpool (the flats is inaccessible by public transit). But my school is in the city, so if you’re commuting to a rural or suburban school you will have a harder time. Commuting saves money, but it kills your social life. I don’t know any commuters, but a lot of commuters are either adult students or people who work FT or close to FT (you can’t go PT to my school).</p>
<p>Funny thing, a friend of mine who went to Ball State also said she met her group of friends in the DSA, lol. She said they were all miserable and cold and found something they all had in common. Well after a couple of months of standing outside in the winter, they began to strike up some pretty interesting conversations and the rest is history…</p>
<p>of course I’m not advocating smoking though; but, if you’re desperate…</p>
<p>the OP could always visit the counseling services, already paid for at most schools thru the student fees. [Services</a>, Counseling Services Website - University at Buffalo](<a href=“http://www.student-affairs.buffalo.edu/shs/ccenter/services.php]Services”>http://www.student-affairs.buffalo.edu/shs/ccenter/services.php) One of the groups they have is described as “A group that focuses on increasing coping skills including mindfulness, emotion regulation, interpersonal effectiveness and distress tolerance.” They also appear to have individual counseling available. </p>
<p>Of course that advice presupposes the OP wants to make some changes, which it isn’t really clear he/she does. Its an unfortunate thing, but a lot of people decide living with the devil they know is better than trying something new and facing the fear of what might happen; the flip side, of course, is that prevents any changes that might <em>improve</em> things.</p>
<p>I know exactly how you feel. I live in Canada and thus go to a Canadian university, however from what you’ve said, your situation is similar to mine.</p>
<p>I moved to another city two provinces away (17 hour drive), and the only person I knew there was my sister. Other than that, no family, no friends, nothing. I also chose not to live in a dorm. I spent a year living abroad in Europe so the idea of living in a dorm didn’t appeal to me, I wanted my own space. My first question is, how long have you been at this university? Is this your first year? If so, GIVE IT TIME. It takes a while to make friends. Sure, you might meet people in your classes and study a bit outside of school, but those aren’t close friends. YET. You have to meet a lot of people on campus from your classes, and friends of those friends. You should go for a lot of coffees and lunches with those people until you find someone you connect with. Oftentimes you will find, in this way, a lot of your friends. And through these people you will meet other people. As you can imagine, this is a process.</p>
<p>I made a lot of friends by joining a language class. Language classes bring together people from all different faculties, backgrounds and places. We would organize German class get togethers. None of us knew eachother that well, and I was really nervous the first few that I went to by myself, but I made some great lasting friends this way. Do something similar- involve yourself with people that are socially active (I don’t mean drinking and partying necessarily) and go out EVERY opportunity you get. As I’m sure you know, living alone you don’t have social interaction as many dorm students take for granted. Living alone in an apartment away from campus is a learning experience. Soon, you will come to see it is a restful place away from your school and other activities. That’s my last suggestion- find something, either a part time job or some club that has weekly activities, tutoring, music lessons, SOMETHING to do outside of school. It will make your life that much more well-rounded.</p>
<p>However, I understand what you’re going through OP. I was in the same situation as you last year but I transferred to a different school for sophomore year. </p>
<p>If you don’t like anything about the school then I would consider transferring to a school that would accept most of your credits. Hopefully your GPA is quite good so you have a larger selection of schools to attend. </p>
<p>If you don’t want to transfer, I would recommend you joining clubs for the hell of it. Have you considered going Greek? My pledge brother pledged his junior year and it’s weird at first but people get used to it. If you don’t like the Greek system then I don’t know what to say other than student organizations and intramural leagues… Moving to dorms can help as well since you get to eat at the dining courts and start conversations with other students.</p>
<p>I admit that I went through depression last year at my other school since my days consisted of waking up, going to classes, doing hw and studying then sleeping. Weekends went by SO slowly since I didn’t do anything at night… This was after a year of partying every weekend and never having time to sit and relax since I was always outside my freshman year. Yeah… </p>
<p>If you want to talk to someone just PM me even though I don’t go on CC much often anymore.</p>