No good friends after the first month of college?

College Life
1

<p>I didn't get to choose which orientation trip to go on because I tried to sign up well passed the deadline, and so, somewhat unluckily, I had to go on a trip that didn't really fit the sort of person I am...long story short: I didn't really make any meaningful connections during the trip. </p>

<p>My roommate is an incredibly strange person...kind of a computer nerd...and is utterly silent. So I wasn't able to make friends with my roommate, make friends along with my roommate, or make friends through my roommate. </p>

<p>I've joined one club so far and one intramural sport. The club hasn't started yet... I've had a good time with the people I've played the sport with, but I've made no strong connections.</p>

<p>I know 10-15 people fairly well, that I say hi to when I walk passed them, but I would hardly call myself good friends with any of them. </p>

<p>During lunch and dinner at the cafeteria I sometimes sit by a group of people that are definitely all friends and that I hardly know. They sort talk among themselves, and I get a few conversations in with one or two people, but they generally go nowhere. Sometimes I sit by one or more of the 10-15 people I know at lunch (when I spot them, which happens less than 20% of the time)...we kind of have conversations but nothing much happens. And finally sometimes, because I see no one I know and no groups of people I might want to randomly sit by, I sit by myself. It's really embarrassing when I have to do that, and I've had to do it four times in the last three days... and what makes it especially embarrassing for me is that I'm a good looking guy...when people see me eating all alone, what else are they supposed to think but, "Wow, he must be a really weird and awkward person." There are few other people like me who sit alone, but all of them are, you know, strange looking, fat/ugly, etc. They all have excuses for not having friends. I have absolutely no excuses. So, yeah, I feel really embarrassed when I sit alone in the cafeteria. </p>

<p>When I talk to the few people I'm 'kind of' friends with, I get a vibe that they're not genuinely interested in the prospect of me becoming their friend...I can't really explain it. </p>

<p>A few other facts:</p>

<p>I go to a small liberal arts school
I'm kind of a quiet and shy person by nature
I had friends in high school</p>

<p>What am I supposed to do? I don't want to transfer because the only possible reason I would transfer is if I didn't make any friends...and my parents, siblings, and friends back in high school will all conclude that I made no friends...and they would be right. </p>

<p>I really don't know what to do.</p>

2

<p>“There are few other people like me who sit alone, but all of them are, you know, strange looking, fat/ugly, etc. They all have excuses for not having friends.”</p>

<p>I think this is the reason you have no friends.</p>

3

<p>I’m in the same situation actually. Although, my roommate is very nice. I have many acquaintances whom I say hi to, but we don’t really go out of our way to hang out or anything. If we happen to be in the same vicinity we might go to classes together or eat together but that’s about it. I’m at a school where I didn’t know anyone coming and I’m not the most forward person which makes it difficult…People come in my dorm looking for my roommate all the time but I can’t think of anyone who would come looking for me lol. (wow that sounds pretty pathetic :p) I’ve gotten into the habit of eating meals in my dorm room to avoid the awkward situation of sitting at a six person table alone…</p>

<p>So, feeling a bit lonely but then again I haven’t joined anything yet so we shall see…</p>

<p>Best wishes :)</p>

4

<p>^ I thought about wording that differently, but what I said is objectively true. I don’t like it either, but it’s true. And I had to say it to show why it’s especially embarrassing for me to sit alone.</p>

5

<p>skypilot, you sound better off than me. </p>

<p>i can think of only three people who, if we saw each other on the way to the cafeteria, would walk through the line and eat with me.</p>

6

<p>“I’m kind of a quiet and shy person by nature” </p>

<p>no thats not true.</p>

<p>if you want help PM me</p>

7

<p>Just saying that if you talk the same way in person, you come off as being pompous, arrogant, and close-minded. “Ugly” people are perfectly capable of having friends. Hell, I have a friend who’s a burn victim, and she’s incredibly popular. Just because you’re apparently so good-looking doesn’t mean you deserve to be popular, and just because someone doesn’t live up to your standards of beauty doesn’t make them deserving of lonliness.</p>

8

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<p>Erm. Um. Wow.
A TON of people at my school eat alone. We eat whenever there is time which doesn’t always coincide with our friends’ schedules. I am not fat or ugly or strange looking but I just have a really random, packed schedule so I’ve eaten by myself once or twice. And I DO have good friends here. </p>

<p>The only advice I can give you is keep talking to people. Maybe sit with someone else that is eating alone <em>gasp</em>! I did that and now me and that kid are really good friends.</p>

9

<p>atomic, of course ‘ugly’ people are perfectly capable of making friends. Where did I say or imply that they aren’t?</p>

<p>I merely stated an objective fact: ugly people, awkward-looking people, etc. make up the vast majority of loners. Likewise, very few normal looking people, especially good looking people, are loners. </p>

<p>I don’t at all mean to come off as arrogant. I’m just trying to let people know my situation as accurately as possible.</p>

<p>I’m don’t arrogantly state things about myself or about others in real life at all.</p>

<p>“Just because you’re apparently so good-looking doesn’t mean you deserve to be popular”</p>

<p>Are you kidding? You’ve misinterpreted everything I’ve said. I simply that it’s especially embarrassing for me to sit alone because I’m good looking. Why? How many good looking people, even normal people, do you see without friends? Very few. That’s why it’s embarrassing. </p>

<p>And I don’t mean to say that I could be a model or anything. I’m fairly good looking. ‘Above average’, let’s say. Still, this hardly matters and was only necessary to make one point.</p>

10

<p>"Erm. Um. Wow.
A TON of people at my school eat alone. We eat whenever there is time which doesn’t always coincide with our friends’ schedules. I am not fat or ugly or strange looking but I just have a really random, packed schedule so I’ve eaten by myself once or twice. And I DO have good friends here.</p>

<p>The only advice I can give you is keep talking to people. Maybe sit with someone else that is eating alone <em>gasp</em>! I did that and now me and that kid are really good friends."</p>

<p>You knew what I meant. People who <em>always</em> eat alone. </p>

<p>And the thing about sitting by someone else who’s also sitting alone: it’s been a month already. Nearly everyone already has friends. The people I would want to become friends with who are sitting alone are undoubtedly waiting for their friends to sit by them… it would make no sense for me to sit by a stranger, waiting for their friends to come, a month into school.</p>

11

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<p>No. This is the reason you have no friends. If you act at all the way you’ve come across on here, it’s no shocker. And just because someone eats alone, or is alone, doesn’t mean they don’t have friends. Not everyone feels the need to be validated 24/7.</p>

<p>You also need to realize that no one is sitting there laughing at the kid who’s eating alone. It’s only “embarrassing” because you think it is.</p>

12

<p>No. This is the reason you have no friends. If you act at all the way you’ve come across on here, it’s no shocker. And just because someone eats alone, or is alone, doesn’t mean they don’t have friends. Not everyone feels the need to be validated 24/7.</p>

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<p>Wow.</p>

13

<p>If you were as good-looking or normal as you think you are, I personally think you’d have more friends by now. However, you just sound like an arrogant middle-of-the-pack sort of guy with social issues. How about stop analyzing your ‘odd situation’ on a fecking internet forum and go out and say hi to some people? Starting a conversation too hard for you? I hope you enjoy eating alone with the ‘fat, ugly, or weird’ people, because it’s going to be a long four years for you, my friend.</p>

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<p>Christ, you’re so eloquent. Someone takes the time to post a reply to your thread and you can only utter a slack-jawed single syllable. No wonder no one went out of their way to talk to you~</p>

14

<p>Wow, bye.</p>

<p>(10)</p>

15

<p>Thanks for the help everyone.</p>

<p>Fact: I do <em>not</em> in any way act arrogant in real life.</p>

<p>Fact: I only seem to come across as overly ‘arrogant’ to most of you because I wanted to as accurately as possible describe my situation.</p>

<p>My ‘arrogance’ is definitely NOT the reason I haven’t made friends. Everyone needs to scratch that.</p>

<p>Again, thanks for the help.</p>

16

<p>I thought you said bye? That usually implies someone is leaving…</p>

17

<p>k, now I’m actually leaving.</p>

<p>:|</p>

18

<p>“No wait, I actually wanted to come back for just one more post and make myself feel better. Now bye for realz!”</p>

<p>or perhaps</p>

<p>“wow.”</p>

19

<p>You sound like kind of an *******, so maybe people are getting that vibe from you and that’s why they don’t want to talk to you. Maybe if the other kids who eat alone were good enough for you, you could all eat together. I guess you’re on your own.</p>

20

<p>Hey don’t worry villabob! I understood what you meant! I can understand why it’d bother some people but…really…it’s not that serious.</p>