I go to a pretty well-regarded state school (I’m OOS) and while I love it here academically, I’m not as happy as I thought I would be. Nothing wrong with the school itself, because I don’t want to go anywhere else, but just personal things. I had a lot of close friends in high school so I thought that I would be fine here but I don’t have very many friends and none of them are close at all. I know I’m only a freshman and I know things will get better with time but I just feel like everyone is out there making the most of their four years while I’m always studying…alone. My boyfriend might be transferring here next year (not because of me, but for legitimate academic/career related reasons) and while it would be awesome to have him be so close, I’m scared that I’ll spend all my time with him and never talk to anyone else. We were never that couple in high school, and all our friends loved hanging out with us because they never felt like they were third wheeling, so I don’t want to be that couple now.
I’m thinking about rushing next spring to get out of my comfort zone, and because I think I would really benefit from the kind of community feeling that Greek life offers, but I’m not 100% sure yet and that’s still a year away. I also want to join an Indian dance team on campus next year just to get closer to my roots (I never did anything cultural growing up and I really regret it), but any other suggestions? I really want to love it here but I find myself missing high school too much
I think the problem may be that you’re comparing Senior year of high school in your home town-- and part of a couple at that-- with being a freshman in a school out of state, all by yourself. Last year you knew everyone and everyone knew you. This year, you’re at the bottom of the totem pole, all alone.
And the image of college, both here and on TV/movies, is that it’s one big happy family. Everyone knows everyone. Everyone gets straight A’s, while at the same time, constantly throwing Frisbee around the quad and tailgating.
Yet there you are, alone studying.
I’m really not a fan of the whole Greek thing, so I’ll ignore that part of your plans.
But I love the idea of the Indian dance team!!!
How is your roommate? The floor in your dorm? While I didn’t go away for school, my husband met some of his closest friends on his floor. (He graduated in 1982, and three of our closest friends are guys he met on his floor.)
Would you consider talking to the RA about making closer friends, or is that not the sort of thing you speak to an RA about?
Do you participate in campus activities? The movie nights, the trips, all that?
Are there any activities associated with your major that you would consider joining?
I’m not really friends with my roommate. I wouldn’t say I dislike her per se, but I’ve tried to reach out to her a million times and she’s a bit standoffish and distant. But we stay out of each other’s way and live peacefully so I’m fine with it.
My floor is co-ed, but for some reason the only people who actually talk to each other are the boys, and they’re all really close. I haven’t even seen half of the girls that live on my floor and it’s second semester. I don’t mind my floor but I’m not good friends with them or anything. I go to campus events sometimes when I’m not busy but really other than that I don’t feel like I have much of a social life. I wish I just had close friends like I did back home, but it’s not easy here because I’m always studying so I don’t really have the time to maintain friendships with people I meet and it’s a really big campus, so unless you make the effort to meet up with people you’ll never see them.
