I hope this is OK.
But I think it’s time to bump a discussion from last year that got closed. I don’t need to add anything new to the discussion, just to remind kids who are facing that dreaded thin envelope that it’s OK.
http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/2047371-so-you-didnt-get-in-p2.html
It was a great thread…and about to be useful again. Plus ça change…
My first kid went through this several years ago.
Deferred.
Waitlisted
Extended Waitlist (you don’t find out until early June)
Rejected but an invitation to arrive a year later.
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It was beyond exhausting…she ended up walking…applying now to grad schools…she’s 3 for 3 so far with an average $40,000 in merit aid per school…and more to come! Whatever the answer today, life stays interesting and all roads lead to Rome.
Oh, and as a follow up.
Nope, she didn’t get into her original first choice. And we’re so very thankful. The school she’s in now is a perfect fit. She loves it. She’s thriving.
Her original first choice would have meant accompanying her best friend from nursery school. It would have been comfortable-- too comfortable for both of them. Instead, both of them have been forced to stretch and grow, and it’s done both of them a world of good.
If you’re into religion, I guess this is what I’m trying to say: God answers your prayers. But sometimes the answer is no. And that’s OK. It simply means there’s another plan unfolding.
There can’t be too many of these types of threads. I am dreading the end of March, when dozens of upset kids will be posting on CC, wondering what went wrong.
I’m always amazed, too. They take the time to come to CC after the deferrals, denials, and waitlists. So many students could have been spared the agony by doing a little research here or elsewhere, BEFORE March, before December even.
For the majority of disappointed students, the “why” is almost always the same: they didn’t apply to (enough) schools that were safeties or matches, and pinned all their hopes on a dream school. It’s very sad.
I love ice cream - is it bad to hope to my DS gets rejected at all 5 schools?
And do we have to eat ice cream that matches the school colors? Or does Rocky Road suffice for all?
^ you know, you can have celebration ice cream each time she gets into a college, too 
Ice cream is an all purpose wonder drug. It’s all purpose-- equally great for celebrations and consolation.
Ice cream therapy is cheaper than real therapy, has less harmful consequences than alcohol, and is usually much cheaper than retail therapy.
My D had two quarts of ice cream…one for rejections and one for acceptances. It helped a bit with the rejection sting.
OK, so I’m a bad mom. And sneaky. But I would have kept that rejection quart pretty close to full at all times… no need to emphasize if it was getting emptier than the celebration quart!!!
@bjkmom, This is why they make single serve containers. It’s a good way to dispose of all the evidence.
Equally difficult will be the (soft) rejections – acceptances to unaffordable options – because nobody in the family seemed to realize that they couldn’t cover the costs. The worst are those who ask which option they should choose when it’s pretty clear that none are anywhere close to their budget. A financial rejection is still a rejection.
My DD got rejected from her first choice. Her older brother went there and she really wanted to go there also. She cried for days. We were upset also, it seemed like such a good fit for her.
She was accepted at several other colleges and ended up going to her second choice. In the end, she was glad she was rejected by her first choice as she now felt she was in a much better place. My wife and I thought so also. We even thought that her brother would have done better at DD’s college.
Never know what life’s turns are going to do.
At one point my D18 was seriously considering applying ED to her at-the-time first choice college. She didn’t end up applying ED anywhere b/c we were too uncertain about the $$ (on the bubble family) and we wanted to see if she’d get merit $$. By the time RD decisions came in that college had fallen to near the bottom of her list. She ended up being WL there in RD cycle which makes me think she may well have gotten in ED.
She didn’t add her name to the WL at the college that had been first choice just six months earlier! She’s totally confident her current college is a much better fit and we’re paying less!
I guess this isn’t exactly a rejection story – more like being thankful for a near miss – but another example that it does work out!!
Also good to bear in mind that being successful and happy in college is more about the student than the college. After about 10 college tours my D said she was done with them, and the bottom line for her was “college is great!” which pretty much holds true across the board if you have the right attitude.