<p>My cousin has a son at an Ivy. Her other son is a rising senior. </p>
<p>My cousin says that her younger son has always felt like the older son "had everything" and unfortunately it is a little bit true. Older son played a sport and was captain; younger son played same sport and was mediocre. Older son is very outgoing and always seemed to have a date, younger son is shy and doesn't date. She thinks younger son is a harder worker, and has grades and similar SAT scores to his brother, but doesn't have the same strong ECs (team captain was a biggie for the older son...I think he was also in student government). Younger son really wants to go to the same Ivy as older son, and mom is afraid he won't get in...or possibly into any Ivies.</p>
<p>Of course I understand the sibling competitiveness, but not having an Ivy child myself, I don't know how to advise her. I would have told her a couple of years ago to try and steer younger son into his own activities and make his own mark...she may have already tried to do this though. It sounds like the younger son feel like he should be a carbon copy of the older one...but as my cousin lives far away, I don't see the boys that often to evaluate.</p>
<p>Anyone have any advice on sibling competitiveness or this situation in particular?</p>
<p>Speaking as the youngest of 4, the younger kid would probably be wise to avoid his brother’s school if he has other appealing choices…why not get out from behind that shadow after 18 long years?</p>
<p>In my work, I’ve seen this situation fairly often. It works out best when younger sib goes elsewhere and makes his/her own life out of older sib’s shadow. Sometimes younger sib wants to go where older sib is to try to beat older sib at his/her own game or because he/she’s become convinced that it’s the best place on earth BECAUSE older sib is there. Either way, I’d try to encourage younger sib to look more broadly and for parents to be very complimentary of other schools.</p>
<p>Very good advice. Maybe son #2 can get into an elite school in California and when it snows in IvyLeagueVille, he can call older brother and brag about the shorts he’s wearing while studying by the pool. With a tan babe. </p>
<p>Never underestimate the importance of a tan babe by the pool to even things out between two competitive brothers.</p>
<p>If younger sib isn’t responsive to subtle steering to apply differently than his older brother did, he may have to find himself by going to where he’s accepted to even if that means getting rejected lots of places where his brother was accepted.</p>
<p>Several years ago, FrecklyBecky was posting on CC about how she and her twin brother were applying to college. Her twin got into something like Harvard EA, and then got a string of Ivy acceptances. FrecklyBecky applied to the same schools, but got rejections and went with disappointment to her safety, Michigan. It ended up that she loved Michigan and first semester landed the ingenue role in a major production.</p>
<p>So, things can work out one way or another…</p>
<p>My S2 is not even close to S1 in the academic realm. Did not even apply to S1’s sch. which is also DH’s alma mater and the sch. S2 had worn the t-shirt for and pulled for in every athletic competition all his life. He knew he would never get in, just didn’t have the grades. </p>
<p>He applied to two other state u’s, got accepted early Nov. After acceptance to both, he made a few self-deprecating comments about how anybody could get in those schools. </p>
<p>As time went by and others he knew at his sch, (including a good friend/soon to be roomie) said they were going to this sch., his outlook really improved. Finally we got to take a visit (had to wait for h.s football season to end and then Christmas). He was completely sold and happy after the tour (thank goodness for an awesome tour guide, 2nd yr. grad. student who had been there all 6 yrs).
On the way home he said Don’t know why more people fr. my sch. don’t go here. It’s great"…It was music to my ears (did iI mention I also attended this sch,lol)</p>
<p>During his first semester, he spent a weekend at big brother’s sch. When he called home he said he didn’t like it at all, his school was so much better! </p>
<p>So hopefully the little bro. can find his own sch. to get excited about. Maybe he has some friends going to diff. schools than his big bro. that he might also consider.</p>
<p>RtR, I wonder if the parents have praised the Ivies/deprecated other schools (perhaps very subtly), and the 2nd kid will feel he’s letting his parents down if he doesn’t get into an Ivy, especially the same one his older bro got into. </p>
<p>I think I’d be tempted to leave the CTCL book around, and have the kid get mail from colleges via College Board testing (getting put on mailing lists), and taking the kid to college fairs. (I dragged, and I do mean dragged, my kid to a CTCL fair; he found three colleges he really liked there and was glad he went. He’s going to Simon’s Rock this fall, but about half their students transfer after two years, so I wanted him to know a little about what was out there, just in case he wants/needs to transfer, too.)</p>
<p>Is the family close enough to colleges to make visits feasible, especially casual visits? (This makes me wonder whether “casual” college visits are really a possibility for a rising senior! Maybe not!)</p>