<p>come on, somewhere out there there's gotta be someone unhappy lol</p>
<p>A million years ago, I got into my dream school, the one I had been obsessing about and dreaming about for months. I recently went back to my 30th reunion which confirmed what I had long thought: I really wasn't a very good fit there, and I wish I had had a more open-minded approach to college and thought more carefully about it before deciding where I just "had" to go. Fortunately, I got it right for grad school. </p>
<p>One can't generalize and say not getting into your ED/EA school is ALWAYS the best thing, but it looks like this thread (thank you thedad so much for starting it) shows that it OFTEN can be!! But disappointment takes a while to heal and my thoughts are with everyone.</p>
<p>Bumped by request from out in the Student fora.</p>
<p>TheDad - this is a WONDERFUL thread! My ****les are toasting as I read this. I am so glad to hear that things turned out so well for so many people who were facing disappointment at this time last year.</p>
<p>One of my daughter's classmates was deferred and ultimately rejected from her dream school. She ended up at another very fine school that she went to with little intention of staying. After an academically successful first year she transferred to the dream school. </p>
<p>Guess what.... after a semester at school #2 this student has discovered that the dream school is not (in her opinion) that dreamy and is currently in the process of transferring back to the first school where she has discovered she is actually a better "fit".</p>
<p>These results are very comforting for me since I was deferred today... Thank you guys so much!</p>
<p>School: Harvard
Result: Deferred EA/ Rejected RD
School Attended: Dartmouth
Happiness: 10</p>
<p>(This is me, obviously, I don't have any kids).</p>
<p>Elleneast--great story! Sometimes getting what you want isn't all that it is cracked up to be. At least she won't have to live life thinking, "What would it been like if I had gone to School #2?"</p>
<p>School: Haverford
Result: Rejected ED
School Attended: Grinnell
Happiness: 10 </p>
<p>I think my son would have been happy at Haverford too...but he loves Grinnell, and we love that he rec'd merit aid.</p>
<p>EncomiumII: I'm one of those unhappy ones, but how intimidating it is to post that after so many 9's and 10's! All the same, for the sake of data...</p>
<p>School: Yale
Result: Rejected EA
School Attending: UC Santa Cruz
Happiness: 5.5</p>
<p>Just not that great a fit, for all my enthusiasm the spring before I went. I think it was a coping mechanism -- had to face a lot of abrupt and harsh changes and reality checks that year! UCSC is a great school, but it doesn't compare to Yale or, for that matter, any of the other "second choices" where others are now. Oh well -- it's only undergrad!</p>
<p>School: Stanford
Result: Rejected EA
School Attended: Lehigh
Happiness: 9.9 (would be 10 but small glitch w/roommate)</p>
<p>As I have mentioned..D was deferred at UNC , later waitlisted..accepted 2cd choice UMDCP and loves it! Though she is not thrilled with food. She was lucky and made great friends at orientation and got a roomate with similar values.
UMDCP was my first choice - closer to home ..great business school, less expensive and greater diversity. So its worked out very well for both of us.</p>
<p>Undecided -- I just want to applaud you for your honest post. Frankly I'm a little skeptical about all those 9's and 10's -- I note they are mostly posted by parents, not the kids themselves -- but I didn't want to rain on anyone's parade.</p>
<p>The reason I am skeptical is that the first thing any kid learns when they get to their "dream" school is that no place is perfect, and there is bound to be something disappointing -- difficulty getting into desired classes, a noisy dorm, a cramped triple when the brochures showed roomy doubles, dorm food that doesn't start tasting any better after the novelty has worn off, homesickness, a west coaster's discovery that snow happens to be slippery and cold and not much fun if you have to trudge through it in order to eat, classes that were harder than expected leading to a midterm crisis of confidence, a small college town that has nothing to do and is a lot farther from the city than the guidebook would have you believe, an early romance that fizzles ... none of these things are limited to a particular college, all are typical issues that can arise anywhere. </p>
<p>So unless we simply define a "10" as being "reasonably satisfied" as opposed to "ecstatically happy", I'd have to say that there must be a lot of reasonably satisfied college kids who aren't sharing their doubts and frustrations with their parents. I mean... when it comes down to it, if you went to college and DIDN'T experience any doubts or frustrations - then what kind of real growth would you be experiencing? You can't really appreciate the ups in life without absorbing some of the downs, and life is pretty boring without a few challenges. </p>
<p>Anyway - I particularly want to say this to you because while UCSC hasn't turned out to be the best place for you ... I doubt if there is a true "10" for anyone .... "8" would be pretty good. I mean - I don't doubt that many of the kids whose parents have reported 10's have actually fallen in love with their current colleges and their lives there -- but even love comes with its share of disappointments. </p>
<p>I honestly believe that it doesn't make much difference where you go to college -- bad things can happen in the best of places, and good things can happen where you least expect them. So I am 100% in favor of encouraging kids disappointed by an early rejection to keep an open mind and to recognize that they may, in the end, be happier with their 2nd, or 3rd, or even last choice. But I think that it also puts undue pressure on a kid to expect that ANY college will be the perfect 10.... a more realistic picture might also, in the end, be more encouraging.</p>
<p>Maine High School - 160 kids in graduating class...exceptional kids,
competitors, friends, each one able to distinguish themselves in a way
to end up someplace they wanted to be:
Child:
School: Yale
Result: Deferred
School Attending:Yale
Happiness:10 - exactly where/what he envisioned</p>
<p>Friend:
School:Yale
Result: Deferred
School Attending:Princeton
Happiness:10 - loving it</p>
<p>Friend:
School:Yale
Result: Deferred
School Attending:Yale
Happiness:10 - completely engaged and gleeful</p>
<p>Friend:
School:Yale
Result: Denied
School Attending:Williams
Happiness:10 - very happy, loves it</p>
<p>Friend:
School:Columbia
Result: Deferred/ultimately denied
School Attending:Amherst
Happiness:10 - doing very well</p>
<p>Friend:
School:Amherst
Result:Accepted ED
Happiness:8 - knows it will get better </p>
<p>Friend:
School:Eckerd
Result:Accepted ED
Happiness:10 (may be best match of the bunch)</p>
<p>Friend:
School:Bates
Result:Accepted ED
Happiness:10</p>
<p>NY Friend:
School:McDaniel
Result:Accepted ED
Happiness:10 - bringing friends home over XMAS....</p>
<p>Morale of the story: aim high... never, ever give up.... keep your mind and
heart open.... have faith in yourself....try not to want only ONE option because there are great professors, schools, classmates and new friends only 9 months away from now.....stay focused and positive...it does all work out in the end...the above kids worked really hard for 4 yrs and ultimately all had great choices...</p>
<p>Calmom -- There's wisdom in your post. What we're reporting for the most part is first blush -- beginning of freshman year. At this point, kids are discovering that college is much better than high school. Then comes the second year. They don't call it the sophomore slump for nothing.</p>
<p>On the other hand, some students are already unhappy. I felt the same way freshman year and transferred. That's another thing that's good for kids who did not get into ED schools to remember. Nothing is set in stone. There are lots and lots of colleges out there.</p>
<p>It's great that people can be happy wherever they go. That shows a lot of character. I expect I'll be GLAD I was rejected from First Choice because then I would have missed out on all the experiences of Second Choice.</p>
<p>
[quote]
At least she won't have to live life thinking, "What would it been like if I had gone to School #2?"
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Ellemenope - I agree. I did think of sending the parents a bottle of wine with my regards since they (and their child) have been through the emotional wringer a couple of times now.</p>
<p>Elleneast--just wait till those parents have to deal with their daughter choosing a SPOUSE!</p>
<p>"A million years ago, I got into my dream school, the one I had been obsessing about and dreaming about for months. I recently went back to my 30th reunion which confirmed what I had long thought: I really wasn't a very good fit there, and I wish I had had a more open-minded approach to college and thought more carefully about it before deciding where I just "had" to go. Fortunately, I got it right for grad school.."</p>
<p>Same thing with me. I went to the most competitive place I applied, got in, and did very, very well - cleaned up in the honors and fellowships department, and got an excellent education. But was a fish out of water. Now mind you, it was during the Viet Nam War, and lots and lots of college students were unhappy. But I never really felt that I fit in, and drove myself to excel at the one thing I could do well - academics.</p>
<p>I am very, very grateful for the top-notch education I received, and make regular, small contributions to the alumni fund. But I often thumb through the alumni pages and wonder to this day - what in the world was I doing THERE?</p>
<p>Sac's point is a good one for those who are happy and unhappy. I think that sophomore year can be when the thrill of adulthood, independence, newness, etc., wears off. Come to think of it, I did actually love most of freshman year, but not much thereafter. BUT I will be the first to blame myself more than the school. </p>
<p>But for those who didn't get into their first choice school, I think that a lot of maturity can come from dealing with a major disappointment at the tender age of 17 or 18, though, and that perhaps can actually end up helping the student adjust to change and challenges better. Probably not for everyone, but for many.</p>
<p>Also, some kids are just more easy-going about college applications and admissions than others, and a rejection for one will be much less of a big deal than for another. Similarly, some didn't have as strong a first choice. I know one really amazing girl right now who has applied to several top schools and art programs and seems to be almost equally excited about all of them. Don't know what the final result will be for her, but I don't see her being disappointed at any time because she recognizes that each school has unique strengths and opportunities. Those who have several dream schools, are lucky!</p>