<p>Some kids tend to look at things in black and white.</p>
<p>To them, if parents aren't "hands off" then they are "helicopter".</p>
<p>In reality, though, good, loving, parenting lies in the gray areas: sometimes helping, sometimes pushing, sometimes encouraging, sometimes correcting, sometimes stepping back. Good parenting requires good judgment.</p>
<p>Many parents have that good judgment. It's wrong to group those who do with those who don't.</p>
<p>My parents have always stayed out until I mess up. They never ask about hw etc, but if my report comes in and the grades are bad then it's basically immediately lock-down. I've pretty much been on my own academically all of high school, and I guess it's a good thing, i've never had any reason to complain. My apps and everything this year have been entirely on my own, and a bit more general input probably would've been nice but I'd certainly take this over my parents setting me deadlines for this and that and forcing choices on me.</p>
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Hands off parents (to me it translates into part time parents) prevent their children from reaching their full potential.
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<p>Hands off parents prevent their children from reaching their full potential. Over protective parents prevent their children from reaching their full potential. There is a happy medium ground that works.</p>
<p>Doug; you wrote</p>
<p>"and I can't do anything about it. I tried help hotlines, everything."</p>
<p>You seem to have registered here just to say you agree with the OP. There is so much more to be gleaned from this site. If you are telling the most important parts of your story, and have "tried everything" , I hope you will post again, and make better use of this site, and of what's available to an 18 year old in this country.</p>
<p>tennisboy1005, after you have raised a child or two, you may comment. Until then, drop it. You have no idea what it is like to be a parent.</p>
<p>This is a bit "off-topic", but I get annoyed when people "dis" public defenders as being somehow inferior attorneys compared with private attorneys who charge for their services. Speaking as a former public defender, private attorney, prosecutor, and now a judge hearing criminal cases, I would easily opt for a public defender before I would pay a mediocre private lawyer who may not be experienced in a particular type of case. Yes, public defenders may be overworked, particularly handling smaller misdemeanors, but when a case such as the "Duke lacrosse case" is assigned to a public defender, I would guess that the defendant would obtain a top notch experienced attorney who would concentrate on the case. One cannot categorize public defenders as "inferior" in any sense; each comes with individual attributes as well as baggage, similar to private attorneys.</p>
<p>I turn 18 next December. Plus, if I try to disagree with them then I will lose my only chance at a good education in the only place I call home because my parents are so controlling.</p>