<p>Is anyone else's S or D feeling a little overwhelmed? My son is feeling a little discouraged....no "best" friends right off the bat and classes are really hard. Of course I've told him that it takes time, but he's a little lonely. He's met a few people he's been hanging out with, but it's just not like friends at home.</p>
<p>Cote…my D seems to be happy as a clam…let’s hope it lasts…lol But I can relate because when my S was a freshman he had a tough first semester. You just have to encourage him to stick it out. He joined a couple of clubs and that helped. Tell him to work hard and try new things. They seem to have something for everything there. Once my son got a girlfriend (sophomore year) things changed and he never came home. Now he is a senior so things worked out in the end. Good luck…I know its tough on your end…we all want our kids to be happy…he will get there…its still early.</p>
<p>this is classic… my brother told my parents he was coming home the first week, mom said stay a month then you can come home… now he loves it…</p>
<p>My step sister said she was soo bored and that she wished she was at a better school, then after a few months she found her group…</p>
<p>I 100% PROMISE you that your son will at least be a little bit happier in a month, and he will probably be loving school by next semester. </p>
<p>Just tell him to stick though…</p>
<p>cote</p>
<p>He needs to remember that he has developed his friendships at home over many years. Make sure he understands that it will take time to cultivate those types of friendships. Additionally guys (unless they are hard core partiers) are usually a little slower to open up to strangers and more importantly trust them, so real friendships can take a little longer.</p>
<p>This is very normal for many boys when out of their comfort zone; girls tend to flock together more readily in new circumstances. He will be fine but he needs to be getting out and initiating the friendships or at least including himself in group activities (even those he might find boring) which is usually how friendships develop.</p>
<p>When I was in college I noticed that alot of the guys from smaller towns who were BMOC at their HS had very tough times adjusting to being just like every other new kid and no longer being the center of attention. NOTE: I am not saying this in reference to your son, just a general observation about boys.</p>
<p>Let him understand that he isn’t alone at that time will make a huge difference.</p>
<p>As to classes being difficult, make sure he stays on top of things and seeks help early if he needs it(meet with profs, tutors etc) so that he doesn’t get himself into a hole that will be tough to dig out of.</p>
<p>cote -</p>
<p>It was comforting to read your post as I got a phone call from my D this week echoing the exact same sentiment -she hasn’t really connected with anyone other than her roommate yet and felt her classes were very difficult! She was spending the majority of her day in her dorm reading and studying! She seemed happy and excited when we dropped her off 2 weeks ago but this week the honeymoon ended. I’m glad to hear that this is perfectly normal and only temporary. I am trying not to worry yet and feel confident that she will get over this hump. Good luck!</p>
<p>Cote- My son said similar things to me just this morning. He has hit it off very well with his roommate and suitemates but he is very, very bored. With class only 3-4 hours a day he has way more free time now than he has ever had before. Finding a job has not proven easy either, seems like all the work study positions are already filled and there isn’t much else to do. We live 16 hours away by car, so coming home isn’t an option, but I am hoping that they will find some activities soon! My son who is not particularly athletic started working out to fill some of the time, maybe your son could hit the gym a bit, he might make some new friends at the same time.</p>
<p>/i would say wait for the organization fair which I think is this tuesday but I could be completely wrong, when they join a club they can meet new people who have similar interests</p>
<p>do you see a common thread here? the excitement of move in and welcome week activities are over, the reality of classwork has set in, coupled with perhaps some homesickness and second guessing.
Be your kid’s cheering squad! As eadad says, remind them it took years to make their “home friends”, so college friendships will take time.Read the student newspaper online and send them messages listing the events mentioned in the paper.Refer them to the webpage of Carolina Productions …it lists everything thats going on on campus. If they might miss athletics, refer them to intramurals.Theres movies (free) in the Russell House on at least thurs-sundays.Clubs are already meeting, they need to be brave enough to get out and go to them,even if they are alone.Do they like “Ace of Cakes”? Duff, the baker on the program is appearing next week on campus, with a cake decorating contest beforehand. This weekend, the football game is away but there will be excitement with viewing parties in the dorms I suspect and then the week after is the first home game,and the excitement level on campus will rise…alot…As JRWriter said, this week is the activities fair on Greene St ,encourage them to attend.There’s open air activities on Greene St every Wednesday,many involving entertainment and “arts and crafts” and free food.Encourage them to step outside of themselves,take a chance on something new.Ask them if they’ve walked off campus to eat somewhere different…Moes,Whichwich,Cool Beans,Immaculate Consumption,theres also a new gyro/medeterranian place next to Moe’s to try.
Also, don’t forget, the kids tend to make what I lovingly refer to as “dump calls” to their parents…they call you,dump all their misgivings,angst,problems etc on you and then …they feel better while you ,hundreds of miles away fret and worry and second guess!!</p>
<p>cathymee - you are right on target. I did the same thing for my son this week…sent him a list of all the “goings-on” on campus and encouraged him with emails. He did call and was rather snotty and then got on the phone with his dad and talked up a storm. I think he was getting rid of the “angst” with me. And that’s ok. But, I think from what everyone has been saying…this is normal. He has been hitting the gym, which he loved to do at home and I suggested he look for jobs at the Strom Thurmond Center. So…I’m feeling better about things and hoping that he will too. Thanks for all the advice.</p>
<p>sorry, I was off on the football schedule…I thought the 2nd game was a home game
but, you get the general idea…</p>
<p>My d has been enjoying the Strom, both for working out and sunning by the pool… haven’t heard her mention meeting any new girlfriends yet, but she said she sat next to someone from Massachusetts in her math class, also was recognized in her ballet class by someone with whom she did the Nutcracker (here in Massachusetts) in 6th grade!</p>
<p>Small world…that may become fast and furious friends. Good for her.</p>