<p>OK, CCers, my husband is out of town and I need to "talk" about my son's adjustment after two weeks of college.</p>
<p>He isn't calling or emailing much; I guess that's fine and somewhat typical. He seems happy socially -- likes his roommate and mentions friends in his dorm. This week, the first full week of classes, he has sounded overwhelmed. He chose to take a very easy Spanish class and a very tough math class which he now says "might not last." The freshmen were supposed to bid for, then receive, a writing class. He didn't receive one when other did, then dragged his feet in correcting the error; he is now enrolled in a class he isn't much interested in.</p>
<p>I sent him a package about ten days ago; he has to go to a building adjacent to his dorm to pick it up, but he told me he hasn't had a chance to get it yet (good thing I didn't include any home-baked treats!). He has also mentioned it's difficult to find time to eat two meals each day in the cafeteria.</p>
<p>Today he told me his computer (a new laptop ordered according to school specs) doesn't work well despite his going and having it reconfigured a few days ago. He says he can't get his math and Spanish assignments/messages from the prof on it, and doesn't quite know how to fix it. He is also unable to receive messages on his cell phone, a new Verizon.</p>
<p>I hung up feeling a bit disquieted about things, and did send him an email urging him to get some good sleep and then make a list of all he has to do, and put items into his weekly planner, telling him that sometimes that's a good stress reliever. He told me he isn't checking email much, so . . .</p>
<p>Any advice, whether reassuring or not, is welcome!</p>
<p>Classes have drop/add periods. If your son is finding the math class inappropriate for him, he should try to drop it and add another class.
His college should have a number of work stations where students can check their emails. This should be helpful while his computer is getting fixed. He should also make sure to drop by the teacher's office or talk to the teacher after class to make sure he has the assignments and knows when they are due. Doesn't his college have technology assistance? He should take it to the computer lab, or whatever it's called and ask to have it looked at.
About meals, classes are often held during lunch hours. Can he have sandwiches or box meals? My S may have to look into this option himself.
Finally, your S should check that his region is on Verizon. </p>
<p>If he isn't checking email much, maybe that's why he's not getting his messages from the professor?</p>
<p>The cell phone can be quickly fixed by a trip to the local verizon store or a conversation with customer support. I brought my phone into the store nearby last may and had a new phone by afternoon.</p>
<p>The writing class, well, that's the way life plays out. If he was not on the ball fixing the error, then it's his mistake to live with, and probably a good lesson for him to learn. Tough it through the classes you don't like, and eventually you'll get to take the ones you do. </p>
<p>Eating in the cafeterias at busy mealtimes can often take quite awhile. Suggest that he get up a little earlier to get breakfast on his way to class (something portable like a bagel or muffin) and some orange juice. Tell him to grab dinner early (around 5) instead of trying to get in during the dinner rush around seven and the lunch rushes between 11 and 1. Tell him to try to eat with a friend which makes the time seem to pass a lot quicker.</p>
<p>Call the manufacturer of the laptop or chat online with them (I know HP offers this). If the school cannot help, maybe they can. Sitting on the problems isn't going to fix them. </p>
<p>Listing the things you have to do can help, but it sounds like he's more overwhelmed with the idea of being in charge of his own life than he is by the actual classwork. Things like remembering to eat, sleep, etc become harder when you are used to having a parent directing you (not saying that you did!) and that's just something that takes time.</p>
<p>Just to add to Marite's advice, I would talk to S about drop/add right away. I know that the deadline for drop/add at the school my S attends, so one does not have a "W" on the transcript, is this Monday.</p>
<p>This sounds familiar to me. When D did her move in, three boxes we had shipped had not arrived. This was a week ago, and she finally picked them up yesterday.
She too dropped a class, although I am assuming (eeek!) that she went through the proper channels for that.
Last night at 11:30 her time, I got an instant message that she needed the code for Microsoft Word on her new laptop so she could submit a paper by midnight. We still haven't found the cd that came with the computer and she had to submut the paper using some program called notepad, which I am sure did not please the prof. We had told her repeatedly before leaving for school to try all the programs on the computer to get the bugs out. Now she is dealing with the consequences of ignoring us. Too bad my H and I are too!
You are not alone. It take them some time to realize that they have to fix this stuff themselves, or find help by themselves. You will be amazed at the skills your S acquires by the end of this difficult year.</p>
<p>Hang in there, and continue to encourage him to fix things himself.</p>
<p>Thanks -- I do know how to solve these problems, I just don't know how to suggest solutions to him . . . he is too overwhelmed to communicate w/ us.</p>
<p>The Verizon problem is vexing. We got him a new phone because T-mobile doesn't work well at his school. Even tho we are paying for the whole thing, Verizon customer service does not permit my husband to fix the voice message problem. My S has to call himself (which, I know, should not be a big problem, but it just adds to everything else). We went to a lot of trouble and expense to make sure he had a communicable phone because our D struggled three years ago.</p>
<p>I know these are all good lessons in growing up, but I hate for S to drop to only three classes this semester. The typical load is 5; we advised him to go with 4. It's hard to see things going wrong and be a bit helpless!</p>
<p>College is kind of overwhelming! It sounds like he is settling in, though. </p>
<p>It is not uncommon for kids to switch math courses - its easy to overestimate your knowledge if you are one of the top math kids in HS. If he is contemplating this, its more sensible than staying in a course that is, at the moment, a little bit much. You might ask if he reads ahead in the book before lectures. If hs courses were easy for him, he may never had had to do this!</p>
<p>Best wishes. The first week of classes is early days yet!</p>
<p>SuNa, to clarify, is the issue with Verizon that for privacy reasons they will not permit your husband to correct the voicemail problem, or, is it because the correction has to be done directly on the cell phone itself?</p>
<p>Although he no doubt has a lot on his plate, from the mom's perspective I think it can sometimes seem worse than it is. So, he's a little overwhelmed. Not too surprising! He's at Cornell - right? He'll figure things out. </p>
<p>It's just hard when they call (or email or whatever) and convey problems that we can't fix. We hang up the phone feeling frantic - meanwhile they go their merry way. </p>
<p>I think just being an understanding ear is good. Encourage him to get his classes straightened out. That's probably just the main thing. Everything else he'll deal with eventually.</p>
<p>You might encourage him to email/call and make an appointment with his advisor to discuss how he has no time, and about the workload of the various classes. I know that my son's advisor gave his students his home number, office number, and email address. Depending upon the deadline to drop a class, I might encourage him to get an email out sometime tomorrow.</p>
<p>Sorry to hear your son is having a difficult time. About the emailing, my sons did/do not email me too frequently. It sounds like you are receiving about average communication. My son also did not pick up his packages from home promptly, same reason as your son's.
If the math is too hard the options are drop it, fail it, or if it is necessary to receive a c or higher for his major, repeat it. If he wants to drop it, okay, the option may be failing. He is learning. It takes time to learn. So the gist is, all classes aren't going that well. The best I would do for him is encourage him to work very hard in every class every day, both in class and studying on his own. I would call and remind him often- like how is it going academically? My 3rd child had very challenging math and sciences for his major and all did not go that great. He did end up changing majors. College is tough. Maybe your son is still in the high school mode of thinking. You could upbeat the talking by telling him how he is getting through the grunt classes now and will be able to take more 'fun' electives in the future as a result of the work now. Dropping classes, failing or repeating do not have the stigma they had years ago, they just extend graduation so you may want to encourage him to stick with them and just keep working very hard on each every day. I gave my kids so many lectures about college and working every day in every class. I told them over and over how when I was 18 I didn't 'get it' but how after I dropped out of college at 19 and came back at 20 I 'got it', worked very hard in every class every day and became an outstanding student.Also encourage him to seek help by going to visit the prof often about concepts he doesn't understand. He may be closer than he thought.Going to visit profs and hanging around after class is real important.You learn things hanging around and meet others in the same situation.
He can use the school computer center until those issues are resolved. Our son INSISTED he buy his computer from a mail order company and when something went wrong with it half way through the semester had to send it away for several weeks. The campus computer center is fine. Phone problems are par for the course, too. I know it upsets you. Maybe if you want better communication at this difficult time you can switch to another plan or buy another phone.
Good luck. Many of your problems sound the same as the ones we had but S got through them and all worked out. Fact is, the first semester, and even second is no picnic. It takes time for kids to learn the ropes and even learn themselves what they like and don't like concerning classes and majors. Good luck.</p>
<p>Putting myself in the OP's shoes , two things bug me. Finding out at 11:30 when a paper is due at midnight that the wp program doesn't work? That would spook me a little. :eek:</p>
<p>Second, these prof's don't cut these kids much tech slack. It's </p>
<p>"the quiz is on WebCT, and you download this attachment from here and dance around on the head of a pin and be sure to check for updates on Sproogle.com because everything I just told you is subject to substantial modification without notice and it's all your fault anyway so just take your D and go away". </p>
<p>O.K. Maybe not quite that bad but it does seem complicated to a Luddite like me. But y'all are right. Dad just needs to let her fix it. And I am.</p>
<p>curmudge: The worse thing is running out of black ink halfway through the printing, too!
We have actually had a child come into the family room at 10;45 pm and tell us the printer is out of ink and can we run over to pick up another ink cartridge for him. Just imagine the angst that prevails with daddy at that senario!</p>
<p>SuNa, I'm sure everything will be O.K. eventually. In the meantime, though, I'd encourage him to change the math class to an easier one, if possible. Cornell is tough. There are so many adjustments to college life, that I think it almost adds up to another class all by itself. If he's in the tougher math class because of AP credits, I'd suggest that he relinquish the credit and take the course it covered. The material is covered differently in college, and having something of a review course might make him feel more comfortable. Good luck on everything -- I know it's not easy when there's nothing you can do to help. Keep us all posted!</p>
<ol>
<li><p>There is still time to change courses at Cornell. Friday, 9/15 is the last day to add a course [or change credit hours (without a petition) (and it is the last day to change grade options from letter grades to pass/fail which is available for some classes - - not sure which ones besides PE)]. He has until Friday, 10/13 to drop a class without a "W" appearing on his transcript. So try to talk to him about various options that he may have regarding his courses. </p></li>
<li><p>I think it is hard during the week, depending on how early is his first class, to have two meals in the cafeteria. My son who had a lot of early classes often made a quick breakfast in his room or picked up something near his first class. I'm not really sure exactly what he did, but he figured out a way to manage. Your son will too. </p></li>
<li><p>He is overwhelmed now and so picking up packages seems like a burden. But I think the mail room is near the dining hall, so it should be convenient. . </p></li>
<li><p>There are several convenient places to find a computer to use. His RA should be able to give him advice about the nearest computers. The Cornell store sells computer equipment so your son could call them to see if he can work with them to get his laptop fixed. And there is an IT service of some type, so he should check with them first. His RA might know about this too or at least be able to help him. </p></li>
<li><p>Verizon has the best service in Ithaca. It is unfortuate that your son is having phone problems now while everything else is going on. Recently, while traveling, I lost service on my verizon phone in a place where there was service. I called Verizon support, and although I had to talk to two people, they were able to restore service while I was riding in the car (not driving). So try to encourage your son to just call verizon tech support (1-800-922-0204). The phone number for the Verizon store in Ithaca, which is a bus ride away, is 607-348-0500.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Please PM me with any specific questions about Cornell that you may have. And like weenie said, he will figure things out.</p>
<p>Regarding the tough math course - every college we visited had some version of a math lab where students could get help. Maybe you're jumping the gun. If your s. says he might not continue with the course in the second week, he may just be expressing how difficult it is. Before he drops a course, don't you think he should seek help? The person helping him might be able to assess whether the course really is the right placement. </p>
<p>Your s. is in a new place - of course there are things to work out and people to meet. And naturally it all seems overwhelming when you're home without h. to bounce it all off. Every camp my kids have attended always warns the parents that they will likely receive a letter telling them how miserable the camp is and that the child wants to come home and that by the time the parents receive it, the author is busily caught up in camp life and doesn't know why you've called the camp in distress. It's not surprising that there'd be some of this at college, too. The fact he hasn't picked up his mail or finds it hard to make it to the dining hall might mean he's too busy socially and that's probably a good thing.</p>
<p>SuNa ... my S is a freshman at Cornell also. I spent the first week panicked that he was going to treat college (and Cornell to boot) as a four-year lacrosse camp. It seems to be coming together for him, but I think he is getting a lot of ...guidance is perhaps the right word ... from the coach and the older lacrosse team members. I'm wondering if there is someone, like an orientation leader or advisor type person who can give your son some more direction.</p>
<p>My feeling is that Cornell is "really big school" without much handholding or oversight. My S did a post-grad year at a boarding school between high school and Cornell and I think it really made a difference.</p>
<p>Yes, S doesn't understand how the bureaucracy lost his writing class assignment. Wouldn't have happened at his tiny high school. And I don't know how he was allowed to take honors calculus (not to mention WHY he wanted to take it). He doesn't have the required A- high school math average nor any AP math credit. </p>
<p>I will encourage him in general (we know you can do it, son!) and also mention the idea of talking w/ some kind of advisor.</p>