<p>Your in the same situation as me. I go to NYU, which is 50,000 a year. Recently my grandmother died and my mom inherited a lot of money. She refuses to pay more than $8000/yr., though, because that is what it would cost for me to go to a state school. She doesn't believe in me gonig to NYU or my major. I have tried talking to her about it but it is pointless. She claims I should go to Junior College and then a state school, because it is what she did...as if I think I'm too good for that.</p>
<p>The only thing that has helped is that my dad is there for me & NYU 100% (they are divorced). That's the only reason I'm still able to go.</p>
<p>Do you have any other family members you could reach out to?</p>
<p>well can't you get at least some type of aid with your stats? tell your mom to stop being so selfish. get other relatives involved and open her up to the fact that you have accomplished a lot and her unwillingness to pay for your education is just plain unfair.</p>
<p>oh yeah there are a bunch of scholarships out there that you can probably qualify for. check out sites liek <a href="http://www.fastweb.com%5B/url%5D">www.fastweb.com</a>, <a href="http://www.finaid.org%5B/url%5D">www.finaid.org</a> for some of the scholarships. there's also really generous ones like the gates milleniium, err can't remember what the other ones are called. i mean they're all worth a shot considering your situation. i still think you should pester your mom about it though and hope you guys can negotiate..</p>
<p>emeraldkity4 got it right!!!
Private schools, some with very high selection criteria, HAVE MORE MONEY TO OFFER to need based applicants because of the millions of alumni donor funds.
Example: my son was offered zippo at Michigan State University, just loans...but his number 1 choice, Tulane University, ended up offering over $30,000 in need-based grants, and academic grants with NO LOANS to pay back at all. We just told them the truth, I had lost my job and had two other kids already in college. What a blessing!!! Tulane is an excellent school.</p>
<p>"That said, she DOES make $160k/year, which means that she's undoubtedly a very successful person herself. I'm sure that someone in a position like hers would not want her child to be forced to take off a year to work for money, give up his/her dreams of going to a top private school, or resort to military service in order to get the money to pay for college"</p>
<p>If the mom is a self made woman who even raised her son and became wealthy with no help from her son's dad or her other husbands, she may very well want her kid to pull himself up by his bootstraps as she did.</p>
<p>If she also thinks that her son looks down on her (because he insists on talking about literature and politics, subjects she's not interested in and has little knowlege of) and if she thinks her son broke up her marriages (could be her distortion of what went on. At the same time, however, kids are the main reason that blended familes break up. It is very hard for most people to be stepparents. It also is hard for most kids to accept stepparents), she may be telling the truth when she tells her son that she has no plans of helping with his college.</p>
<p>Bottom line is that her S needs to rely on his own resources -- including applying for merit aid -- in order to reach his dreams of attending a top college. Sure, his mom may change her mind, but don't count on it.</p>
<p>boy, i've never heard of anything like that. I know it's easier said than done, but maybe try sitting down with her and having a serious discussion on how you need it, and why you deserve it, restating what you originally posted. Good luck!</p>
<p>Everyone--keep in mind that the OP's mom sprung her decision on him/her only a year before college. It would have been different if the OP knew all along, s/he would have been able to prepare accordingly.</p>
<p>The OP still has plenty of time to prepare as the OP will be applying to colleges this fall and has plenty of options to get merit aid, ROTC scholarships, etc. Senior year in high school is the best time in one's life to get college scholarships.</p>
<p>The OP is far more fortunate than are the many unfortunate students I've seen posting on CC whose parents informed them they weren't paying anything after the students got into their dream schools.</p>
<p>Don't waste your time with the military. If you're so desperate that you are willing to sign away several years of your life for college tuition, just get married so you'll be considered independent and dirt poor. :P</p>
<p>It seems like most of the people on here are parents that do not understand the contemporary education system at all. When you apply for federal financial aid, the government gives you a EFC number (EXPECTED FAMILY CONTRIBUTION!), but realizing that many people are not willing or cannot sometimes pay the EFC the government gives out unsubsidized loans, which are not all that bad. One must realize however, that no financial institution is going to give out a loan to 18 year without a cosign, and without a cosigner the student will have to foot the bill completely by him/herself. To pay tuition, the student will either have to find merit aid, go to a military school, work, or go to community college. Merit aid is not guaranteed, especially at more prestigious schools, so the student will have to go to a lesser school. Whether people refuse to believe this or not, prestige does matter however unfair or irrational this seems when one looks for a job. Military school may not be an option for everyone, especially those who are unwilling to support violence in general or for those who are unwilling to support the military-political agendas of the federal government. Work is not always a feasible option either. Considering that the minimum wage is terrible low; someone with little or no work experience will typically earn no more than 10 to 11 dollars per hour. Many schools specfically advise against working over 20 hours per week because such work hours tend to adversely affect academic performance. With a rate of 10 dollars per hour at 20 hrs per week a person will only earn about 180-190 per week or 750 per month. For example, in the Bay Area a shared room in a 2bd apt. will typically cost around 500 per month, leaving 250 per month for food which comes to about 70 a week. None of these cost estimates include the fact that student would need to save about extra 1000 per month in order to pay tuition at a state school alone. Going to community college is not always a sensible route either. For many people, community college actually erodes their intellectual ability and self-motivation because they are surrounded by people that literally earn a living off of financial aid and who do not care at all about their education. Furthermore, transferring from a community college to a good schools is much more difficult than many believe especially when a person is pursuing a degree outside social science and humanities majors. Moreover, many community colleges do not offer all of the required classes that must be completely in order to transfer in as a junior thereby forcing the student to spend 3 yrs rather just 2 at the school he/she is transferring to. Ultimately, he/she will only be saving the amount of tuition of one year of school. The transition from a community college to a 4yr college can also have a disastrous effect on some people because the change in academic standards and expected quality of work is significantly higher.</p>
<p>^ ... I believe the parents on CC do understand. A bunch of us have been around CC for years and this situation unfortunatelyeffects numerous students on CC each year. The reality is each set of parents decide how much to support their kids ... and the kids need to deal with the situation after the parents decide. </p>
<p>While we all have our own positions of how we will support our own kids we're trying to help the OP in a situation where the parents, apparently, are going to provide minimal help. This certainly makes the situation difficult for the OP and while his/her choices have been reduced a lot there are still numerous options to get a high quality education.</p>
<p>lubyont, even assuming that everything you say is true, how does that help the OP? You can wring your hands and cry until the cows come home about how unfair the OP's mom is being and how she really should pay for the OP's education, but it won't change anything.</p>
<p>The OP's choices are not "Go to the best college and have mom pay" or "Go to a lesser college with merit aid." (That's using your terms; I don't believe that colleges that afford merit aid are necessarily "lesser". And that's having been in the workforce for longer than the OP has been alive - I've seen how well people from "less prestigious" schools do in the workforce.) The OP's choices are "Go to a lesser college with merit aid", "Go to a community college" or "Don't go to college." Of those choices, which would you suggest?</p>
<p>
[quote]
The OP's choices are "Go to a lesser college with merit aid", "Go to a community college" or "Don't go to college."
[/quote]
and hopefully there is someway to pull off going to the local State U also. Another possibility is to work full-time while going to a "good" school part-time.</p>
<p>Honestly, I've never heard of a parent helping that much with college unless the kid is a total loser or the family has money growing through the cracks in the sidewalk. I'd never expect my parents to help with the cost of college. They would help with personal and transportation expenses, but nothing more than that. It would surprise me if most parents even helped with the EFC, though I suppose I may be a little disillusioned since in my area, kids don't go to top schools. My mom has told me that unless I get merit aid, I can go to the community college for free for 2 years and transfer while living at home. I think that's generous enough. But if you are considering this, beware that college credits don't always transfer well.</p>
<p>Meh with scores and achievements like his he could apply to as many large-money scholarships as he can and would probably be relatively successful. State U full tuition rides are always nice, and depending on his interests there are many private schools out there that offer full rides to applicants who apply for such scholarships.</p>
<p>I had the SAME EXACT dilemma. I was actually reading the original post with my mouth hanging open, shocked at the similarities of our situations. (Only real difference = my father, not my mother.)</p>
<p>First off, your mother is sick. She seems like a total sociopath, eager to find fault in others for minuscule things but unable to admit to her own failings (marriage and whatnot). You've done nothing wrong and you deserve the best. If she made a meager salary, I'd say her obligations to you are small. But making 160K (even if that's before taxes, etc.), she really should be paying for your tuition.</p>
<p>Of course, apply to a few low-end schools and at least a few top 20 schools.
If the armed forces were an avenue you were already considering, by all means, pursuit it...but do not go down that road simply for $--you might end up really hating the decision.</p>
<p>If you want to know how I solved my problem, email me at my username @ yahoo.com...</p>
<p>Is it possible that mom is TERRIFIED of how much college may cost her? It might be very helpful to ask (nicely) if she will visit one or more colleges with you. Being around other families on the tour (some of whom are giving blood to get their kid's tuition paid for) may make her feel more certain, more open, more excited about your future. AND, make sure that you stop in on the talk with the financial aid officer. The "talk" at Whitman college certainly opened my hubby's eyes. (A student would have to earn $22 an hour to have the same buying power as minimum wage did when he was a teen).</p>
<p>Here's the hard truth: Your mother's salary WILL be part of any financial aid picture. If she chooses not to pay, then you will have to borrow -- possibly a lot. So, get yourself one of those loan charts and show her (nicely) "mom, if I borrow $160,000 I will pay XXX a month for thirty years which includes XXXXXXXX in interest. Man, that's gonna be hard." And then LEAVE IT. Don't yell, don't insist. Just let the numbers speak for themselves. </p>
<p>Also, this is NOT something you need to be ashamed of. Any family or friend gathering, you have every right to say "Mom says she's not paying for my college. I'm devastated but I am going to do the best I can. Anybody got scholarship leads?" Don't be sneering or hateful, just factual. It's up to her to then put the lipstick on that pig of a situation. Good luck</p>
<p>Really- apply anywhere you want. You've worked hard for it. Take a gap year, work, and declare yourself as an independent. That's the BEST way to be able to be out of your mom's control on the financial end. </p>
<p>Oh, and after all of this, if she REALLY doesn't pay with that kind of salary, then just don't talk to her anymore. Disowning a parent is actually not a hard thing to do when they act irrationally in regards to things like this.</p>
<p>you only get one mom. work to solve the problem, the problem being the animosity between you two, even if you aren't going to get her to pay. </p>
<p>i disowned my dad for a good 6 months or so. it was the right thing to do at the time but i'm very glad we were able to resolve the problem we were having. </p>