<p>Am I the only one who doesn't think $160K per year is all that much money? It all depends on how long she has been making that kind of money, and what her accumulated assets are. Consider the income tax load of at least $48K, leaving her with only $112K. If the mom has a huge mortgage and property taxes ($30K/yr is not unreasonable in CA), and is trying to save for retirement, the money can go pretty quickly. Maybe, she decided that she didn't really want to sell her house, and that she's nowhere close to achieving her retirement goals. $25K/year (much less $50K) for college is a big chunk out of $112,000. Anyway, the mom sounds like she has problems since she is also verbally abusive, but I don't agree that $160K makes college a snap to pay for, particularly since it screws you for FAFSA.</p>
<p>uh, if you can't live on 160K per year......</p>
<p>Yes, I would think that is a lot of money for most people </p>
<p>I think that puts you in the top 5% of income.</p>
<p>I live on just over 1/3 of that. And I feel fortunate.</p>
<p>"Am I the only one who doesn't think $160K per year is all that much money? "</p>
<p>Sounds like a heckuvalot of money to me.</p>
<p>Mind sending me that much money? I'll PM you my address.</p>
<p>"Really- apply anywhere you want. You've worked hard for it. Take a gap year, work, and declare yourself as an independent. That's the BEST way to be able to be out of your mom's control on the financial end. "</p>
<p>If you do a little bit of research, you will discover that this doesn't work unless you are:
over 24
a veteran
a parent who supports a child
married
in the armed services
working on a graduate degree</p>
<p><a href="http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/fafsaws78bw.pdf%5B/url%5D">http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/fafsaws78bw.pdf</a></p>
<p>Actually, dragonmom, IT DOES WORK -- the school has to do a "dependency override" -- it has NOTHING to do with the FAFSA. The U that Tagore decides to attend would have to hear Tagore's case, and decide to grant her more financial aid and declare her as an independent within the U (meaning more financial aid to the point of full ride) if she is, in fact, independent of her mom. </p>
<p>It DOES WORK-- I am speaking from experience.</p>
<p>The University of Texas at Dallas is an excellent engineering and pre-med school with a good business school also. They give very large scholarships based on SAT scores. It is possible to obtain a full-tuition scholarship with a cash stipend and housing assistance based on your SAT score. It is a point of pride for this university to maintain the highest average SAT scores of all Texas public universities so they are very generous. If you're strapped for cash, it's an excellent school near many Plano area high-tech firms and the UT Southwestern Medical Center.</p>
<p>It's the reason I turned down my first choice school. With a resume like what you posted, I imagine you'd get a good scholarship there. The have a very late application deadline too.</p>
<p>But Snift, how would she make the case to the university for being an independent -- mom wouldn't pay for me?</p>
<p>Seems like everyone would do that if that were a commonly granted option.</p>
<p>Something sounds amiss here. This is either a troll post, he's immensely overstating his achievements, he's immensely overstating his mom's personality and temperment, or all of the above. </p>
<p>There's no way a high school student has racked up all those ECs and has a 3.98 GPA and almost all AP and Honors courses. "But --" No. I ain't buying it. If this were a movie I'd buy it, but it's not. So I'm not.</p>
<p>I can't ration out advice for a problem I think is completely untrue.</p>
<p>I think it might be a cultural thing, but I am just stunned by all the parents on the thread who say things to the extent of "once a person is 18 they're on their own." Yes, once a person is 18 he or she is a legal adult and I understand that you have, up to this point, invested a lot of time and money into them, but didn't you know and agree to that when you knew you would be having a baby? It comes with the territory. I think refusing to help pay for college when a student has worked hard for it and when the parent(s) is able, is just irresponsible. I know that a few years ago it was possible to go to college and pay for yourself, but with inflation and the rising living costs, it is very difficult and near impossible (although I suppose this can vary from state to state as I live in California, one of the most expensive places to live). </p>
<p>Note that I said "help to pay." </p>
<p>And just so I won't be labeled as a "spoiled brat" by those that read this post let me add that I come from a low-income family and they always wanted me to attend college as much as I did. However, they knew their financial limitations and made sure that I knew them as well. They gave me a figure they agreed to help pay but the rest was up to me. I applied to scholarships and schools and was able to get a 4 year full ride scholarship to the school of my choice, and I am pleased to say that my parents don't have to carry the burden of my education.</p>
<p>Like the OP, I too am a first generation student and my parents have made sure that I know what hard work is and how much they have struggled to have so little in this country. Talk to your mom and let her know you appreciate everything she did for you and everything she did to help you. You're relationship may never be "good" but she is still your mother and for better or worse, she gave you life and raised you. You only get one mother.</p>
<p>As for college: apply to as many schools as you want/can and wait to see what type of aid you get. Some schools give amazingly good merit aid, and some schools provide loans with no interest. Depending on what your future career/plans are, it might be worth it to acquire some debt. And lastly, don't go for the big names. Yes, you could go to Yale or Columbia but if you can get the same if not better education somewhere cheaper, why not?</p>
<p>Keep us up to date and good luck!</p>
<p>Just so you know this post started about a month since tagore posted the thread
he's likely to have already left for service academy
so none of you are PROBABLY sayingg anything to him</p>
<p>On another note I just had a thought...
Since this kid has a father in the naval service in china and he is entering the military here, what might happen if the us engages in war with the chinese embassy, even worse what if they met in battle.........just thinking</p>
<p>jaso9n...i have to disagree. all that is definitely possible. more is possible.</p>
<p>
[quote]
There's no way a high school student has racked up all those ECs and has a 3.98 GPA and almost all AP and Honors courses. "But --" No. I ain't buying it. If this were a movie I'd buy it, but it's not. So I'm not.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>...you must be new here....</p>
<p>haha well said zoogies</p>
<p>a<em>soldiers</em>creed if the US and China went to war they would nuke the hell out of each other. i dont imagine much conventional warfare in the pacific, or anywhere else for that matter.</p>
<p>=(</p>
<p>I actually just came to this thread to ask a very similar question.</p>
<p>I don't get full scholarship from UCB because my dad has enough income to pay my college tuition. However, he refuses to. I contacted many colleges' financial aid offices, and the only thing they could say was "I am sorry." =(</p>
<p>My dad told my frd's mom that he didn't want to pay my tuition because he would lose everything. It was very hurting. At the same time, he keeps telling people I got into UCB because he is good at educating kids. </p>
<p>I mean, are you going to hate your parents only because they don't help with your tuition and take credits for your own accomplishment? Sometimes I just wanna move away and never see him. But I know I can't do that. I am Asian, and I just feel guilty for not taking care of him when he is old, or even think about it.
=(</p>
<p>"I mean, are you going to hate your parents only because they don't help with your tuition and take credits for your own accomplishment?"</p>
<p>I agree with lilsunflower. My dad, a dentist, refused to pay anything for my college education. I ended up working as a cashier and even cleaning houses as a senior in high school, working 60 hours a week the summer after graduation, and working every summer in college, during the school year and taking out loans.</p>
<p>I used to hate my dad because in addition to not paying for college, he was a person with an explosive temper who used to call everyone in the family names and threaten our lives. At some point, however, I realized that my hate for him was hurting me. </p>
<p>When he became old and disabled after a stroke, I would visit him and would send him gifts. I am glad that I did those things. I can not emphasize more that the person whom one hurts by hating one's parents is oneself, no matter how dreadful one's parents are.</p>
<p>As an adult, after a lot of thought, therapy and meditation, I also understand where my dad was coming from. He was an immigrant (Jamaica) who put himself through college after growing up so impoverished that he used to eat tea and potatoes for meals, so he thought I should do the same. His mom clearly didn't love him and had other problems, so he just didn't know how to parent. I feel very sorry for him, and I'm grateful that I've had a better life. Even with the problems that his behavior caused me, I had a cushy childhood compared to his.</p>
<p>i have the exact same story as you...every single thing you said except my dad is from ghana...but i don't agree with the 'my dad suffered so he has to screw me over too' bit. If your kid is TRULY doing everything he can- working,etc. and you cant even help him out a little with school then that's just plain greedy. Fine- its my responsibility, i'm a 19 yr old adult,whatever- don't help me out..but when you're messing up my chances of getting any aid(not even LOANS) because of your 200K salary, you have to be a bit undertsnading. AND claiming me as a dependent on your income tax returns? that's were it turns into plain wickedness. It's really messed up when you can't focus on your studies because you're struggling to come up with a way to pay your tuiton all throughout the school year--especially when you're in an extremely demanding major like engineering..you cant really mess with the part time jobs(which will only pay for your food) and a full time job will completely mess up your grades. I havn't paid my tuition from last semester and i'm taking a break this coming year to save money.In the end, i'm glad i'm going through this because i can say 'i did it all myself..noone helped me out.' But it doesn't make what he's doing 'right'.</p>
<p>I totally agree with you, racnna. I used to talk to my dad's frd about this. I told her it was not fair because I could have gotten way more scholarships if he was not able to afford my tuition. She called me lazy and "a burden of the society" because I was expecting more aid from the goverment. >__<</p>
<p>Well, for one,</p>
<p>Financial aid is abundant these days, esp. at the top colleges. Even if you rmother makes $160 a year, Harvard's president was quoted as saying that the number "middle class" students at Harvard is measured by the number of students whose parents makes less than $200k (for sociologists, it's from $30k-60k, while upper middle class, the 15th percentile and above, is actually $62,000 and up).</p>
<p>Perhaps I don't know what I'm talking about, but I don't think you would have to pay full tuition??? Esp. if for merits at a state school or Vandy... that's your best bet. If you're Harvard material, other good schools will pay for you, no matter how much you make.</p>
<p>Go to college, no matter which one. Even if it's community, you need to go these days. It's not a luxury for those who will be "somebody", it's survival for future "anybodies".</p>
<p>So, look into the finances available.</p>
<p>Also, if it helps, my mother paid for every ounce of her education (and went to school twice) and her father was the senior exec and a huge NYC company whose family enjoyed all the perks of wealth. My father also came from a wealthy family, but he did not have to pay (he had a trust), and in my opinion, my mother took much more from her's.. my father didn't have to work for anything in his life, and has squandered it all as a result. My mother has had to work for a lot, and is very responsible and upstanding.</p>
<p>I myself always assumed I would have to pay for college, but am finding out now that's probably not the case, though I will prob be expected to work demeaning low-level jobs and whatnot.</p>
<p>PS, if your report is unbiased and accurate, your mother has issues with herself. Perhaps she had to work for her education and is resentful? Perhaps she just has low self-esteem and takes it out on others.. she may feel inferior to her own child... it happens.</p>