<p>Jmmom, my son did lean in an opposite direction! I made my opinion known about 3 times. After that, I just backed off and now realize he knew better. I have changed so much over the past year in my parenting style. :) That was the beginning of it.</p>
<p>jmmom,
Yes, that's what I was getting at. The sadness of leaving Tulane and his probable uneasiness at "starting over" somewhere new makes this decision a lot more nuanced and even harder for a conscientious parent to know how and when to help. </p>
<p>It would seem to me, also as the parent of an almost 19-year-old son who just finished his first year of college, that the best gift you could give him is to show your absolute confidence in his decision-making ability and timing. (And I know this would be difficult for me because I am not all that confident of my S's ability to make decisions because, well, he's 18 and a newly minted sophomore and doesn't sophomore mean "wise moron" or something like that?). But, your confidence combined with his ownership of this transfer might make all the difference when the time comes to actually move there and make the new friends, meet the new profs, find the best place to hang out, get past the first bumps in the road, and eventually create a new home for himself.</p>
<p>So, unless there is a bad choice after all or one that is so clearly heads and tails above the others, (or unless there are notable financial considerations) perhaps be available for advice but don't offer it unless he asks (and then maybe offer just a few things to consider, not a spreadsheet of analysis. A "soft" weigh-in, if you know what I mean). I truly know that this is easier said than done. :)</p>
<p>I suggest this with the utmost empathy for your journey and your role in this saga. I've admired your fortitude and optimism and commiserated with your frustrations and fears this past year. It must be so tempting to just want to hammer the lid down on this process and be DONE with it. Hang in there and let your S rise up and nail it down himself. I think you won't regret it.</p>
<p>Thank you, momof2incas. You have said it all and very wisely. I think your post will be my mantra. I have offered to do legwork on any info he might need and I think I will leave it at that, until/unless he asks. I think you are right that my almost-20 "wise fool" should feel our confidence in him, more than anything else we might have to offer.</p>
<p>My son is entering JHU this fall - totally his decision (he visited and attended actual classes at his 4 "finalist" schools and decided). I'd leave it to him. One thing though, I think McGill is much cheaper than JHU so you do need to talk if there are financial issues.</p>
<p>Thanks, roberthhid. The difference in cost has not escaped us :). Should he choose McGill, our pocketbook will appreciate it. It's not an issue, though, so whichever he chooses will be fine. We think JHU would be worth the extra $$, if he goes that route, particularly due to his particular interests.</p>
<p>Since they are all ghood schools, you must have reasons behind your preferences. Can you say what those reasons are?</p>
<p>cheers, here's where our opinion comes from. </p>
<p>He has turned out to be a "city person" (just like his mom :) ). That says Montreal (McGill) or Baltimore (JHU). Allentown (Lehigh) just ain't the same. </p>
<p>He has always preferred a smaller school: JHU fits that better than McGill for undergraduate size.</p>
<p>His specific interests in Engineering may change, but he has a strong interest in aspects of the field that would lead to a career at NASA or NASA-allied lab. JHU is extremely well-connected to that realm.</p>
<p>He visited both JHU and Lehigh prior to freshman apps and loved them both, but, having watched his Freshman year unfold, I think that JHU would fit him socially somewhat better. He doesn't like frats and while I think Lehigh's frat reputation is exaggerated (like all stereotypes), I think he fits better the JHU atmosphere.</p>
<p>McGill is an off-campus housing world for all but Freshmen, so I've been thinking it would be harder to become a part of that community, arriving as a transfer. He has worried about that too (altho I've since heard some very encouraging thing about social life/community atmosphere in the Engineering world at McGill).</p>
<p>Oh - did I mention that JHU is ranked the highest?</p>
<p>Bottom line: he's shown that he can thrive and enjoy two totally different atmospheres (Bates and Tulane); has always been an adaptable kid; showed total resilience during this crazy year - so he'll be fine. But that's been our thinking, since you asked.</p>
<p>I am a meddler - so I would put a spreadsheet together showing info on transportation cost, class size, housing options, pros/cons, location, etc.etc. Unless your son is an analytical type, he may not have methodically explored the differences. (And if he is still in school, he is probably so busy that he may not have time to explore the nuts and bolts of both schools.) Email it to him, then offer to discuss with him if he wishes. If he doesn't wish - well that's fine, because he has some "hard stats" to help him make his decision. That's JMHO! :)</p>
<p>Between Bates and Tulane, which social atmosphere did he like better?</p>
<p>He was happy at both, cheers. I'm sure if you asked him, he would say Tulane and New Orleans. But a couple of caveats: for <em>him</em>, the social atmospheres wrt kids who were "his people" may not be as different as one might guess. At Tulane, he chose the honors dorm and his friends and socializing stems heavily from that. Their options of what to do and where to go, however, are quite different from those of Bates. Bates is a self-contained environment with "nowhere to go and nothing to do" off-campus. For Tulane, he and his friends took a lot of advantage of NOLA (vs. frat parties etc, not his thing).</p>