How involved parents are supposed to be during college life? One of my kid’s college’s parent association Facebook page looks like an elementary school PTA page with over involved parents with too much free time on their hands. They are meddling in everything students, teachers or administration does.
It looks unhealthy. These are young adults who need to become self-sufficient functioning independents. Parents also need to have their own social lives, away from social media trying to befriend other parents on college groups.
I completely agree with this. I see the same thing on the Facebook page for my son’s college class. I am continually surprised by the type of help people are asking for. Their kids can’t figure things out for themselves? Or maybe the kids can, but the parents are just inserting themselves anyway because they always have and they just can’t give it up. I always wonder if the kids know what their mom is posting about them.
Sadly, I see the same, but it really is a small group of parents on these pages who dominate the posts. (I once saw a mom trying to organize a pick up soccer game for her son. ) I think that the majority of parents on these pages are looking to exchange helpful information. The chronic complainers bother me more than the helicopter parents, as do the folks just looking to argue with people. Again, it is the same handful of people, but it really creates an unnecessarily negative atmosphere.
Believe it or not, these same media groups exist for service academy parents who somehow missed the memo that their kiddos are not attending regular colleges, are now owned by the government, and would be targets of extreme ridicule should a parent attempt to helicopter in any way.
Yes, these parents feel they are just providing support and information exchange to each other, but I saw firsthand how many of these parents felt they needed this support because the military model did not conform to what they expected of their child’s “college” experience. At least in the case of the SAs, it’s actually impossible to interfere. Thus the need for media shoulders, I guess.
I belong to 3 of them (3 different colleges). Today a mom wanted to know who to call about the food in the dining hall, on another who should be called about spiders in the dorm, on another hoping classes tonight will be canceled due to thunderstorms.
My daughter’s roommates read them for entertainment, one actually posed as a mom and complained that the school was hiding on campus crime from students and parents (boy did that thread blow up, parents we ready to March into the presidents office until the moderator figured out it was a prank).
They really are a good source of information when looking for decent hotels, restaurants, apartment complexes…
I joined Facebook specifically to join this group after someone told me about it. It’s the only Facebook group I belong to. I have learned some things that have been helpful but mostly just read for entertainment.
What I find helpful about these pages is allowing you to see the helicoptering and gathering the information without actually talking to anyone at the school, it allows me to be crazy without anyone knowing! ha!
These groups sure are sources of some helpful information as intended but over-involvement in adult lives is astonishingly pitiful and not limited to freshmen.
These parents are likely horribly meddling in-laws in making. These habits die hard so behavior would only reshape itself.
Are there going to be Facebook pages for parents of employees at corporate websites as well? Is this a new norm?
I am fairly active in D’s parent group FB page but am starting to become less so. It was a great place to find hotel recommendations or if someone knows of a bakery that will deliver a cake. This summer and fall, however, things took a turn for the worse. The parents of the incoming firstyear students are something else. “How many drawers in the dresser?” “Does this building have AC?” “Someone posted a photo of room 312 but does anyone have one of 310?” Between that nonsense and asking about something you can find on the website in 2 seconds,it is more aggravating than anything.
“How many drawers in a dresser?” is hilarious, but whether or not a room has AC is quite important for both comfort & for health reasons.
The availability of AC is a frequent concern at the College of William & Mary. My understanding is that AC is available only in some living quarters (dorms / Greek or theme houses) while not available in others. My information is a bit dated, however.
That’s true but when you are talking about a stone building from 1827, having AC and an elevator are not likely. Be happy that it has plumbing and heat (for those upstate NY winters).
I am actually enjoying the conversations now about when to buy the plane tickets and every kid having a different schedule depending on their specialization and involvement in productions makes the answers so very helpful (conservatory)
The endless complaining is really something. I bailed from the group for my kid’s school. It was helpful over the summer, then turned into a swirling drain of histrionics.
If any of you have freshman this year, be aware that those FB groups go totally off the rails after the first set of exams. “Professor was unfair.” “Test was too hard.” Yada yada.
