<p>My sympathy to you and your family, runnersmom. Poignant timing for this loss. </p>
<p>I’m so very sorry runnersmom. What a hard loss.</p>
<p>Runnersmom, I’m so sorry. Such a blessing that you all have those precious Thanksgiving memories. May they bring you comfort.</p>
<p>Runners mom, so sorry for your unexpected loss. May you memories bring joy and help the sorrow.</p>
<p>Runnersmom – I’m so sorry for your loss. May his memory be a blessing that binds your family together.</p>
<p>Hugs to you, runnersmom. </p>
<p>Peace and blessings @runnersmom - difficult time for scheduling a funeral. A friend’s uncle had a funeral today, which is unusual for Catholic. Missed a funeral last week - also a long marriage situation; H knew it was coming, but the loss is palpable no matter that it was expected.</p>
<p>Hope your family can be supportive of your mom during this very difficult time for her. </p>
<p>And of course may your good memories of your father help you through this difficult time.</p>
<p>runnersmom, may the memory of your dad be a comfort and blessing to all who knew and loved him. Be gentle with yourself. Glad you got to have a good Thanksgiving together.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry to hear of your fathers passing runnersmom. I hope this time of family gatherings will bring good memories. If it’s any consolation for those of you that have recently lost parents, I have found that the good memories really do crowd out the sorrow with the passing of time. </p>
<p>I think my mom must have another uti. Is it terrible that I can diagnose her over the phone, just based on how she starts sounding a bit nutty? My sister gets so torn up and worried when she hears her start like this and got mad at my brother when he allowed the aide to sit with her in the waiting room instead of him. She didn’t have an appointment and agreed to sit and wait until she could be seen. I told sis - that’s what the aide is for, and if she’s acting all kooky, we don’t need to hide that from the dr, it’s a great opportunity for the dr to see for herself. So yes, I actually defended the brother who I just had the big blowup with the other week.</p>
<p>Eyes mom, I dxd my mom on the phone, too, I am glad the al place can do the test without taking mom to the doc. They noticed that she was spending lots mor time in bed and not eating much. But they don’t talk to her enou.gh to see she is nutty-er than usual. Re sis and bro, family dynamics are tiring for sure.</p>
<p>I keep a supply of sterile urine cups at my mother and my aunt’s houses. I showed their aides how to obtain a specimen, (God bless them) and I have a supply of urine dip sticks. If they are positive for WBC’s, the local lab has a standing order for a U/A and C and S for each of them. The order is good for 6 months. I then call the Dr. to check the results on the computer and his nurse calls in the correct antibiotic to the pharmacy. This way, it saves them from an office visit. </p>
<p>My condolences to runnersmom.</p>
<p>My father passed away in March. Yesterday I was reading some “ghost stories” from a book my son had. Wouldn’t you know it…last night I dreamed my father (just like the ghosts in the book) didn’t know he was dead so was still talking. So bizarre. Enough time has passed that I’m okay, but still…not picking up that book again.</p>
<p>Peace to all who are missing a loved one at this time of year.</p>
<p>Today my mom was taken for her cognitive evaluation at her assisted living where she’s moving mid January. She has a uti and honestly is a bit nutty. Apparently she told everyone who worked there she would not move there. She’s not one to embrace change so I’m trying to figure out how to approach this. We’re all on board, of course she’s going. Of course it’s a little scary. But it’s beautiful, she still has her own apartment, she’ll still have her aides. sigh Not to mention - the woman wouldn’t buy clothes unless they were on sale, I can’t imagine she’d appreciate losing her hefty deposit. </p>
<p>Eyeamom- sorry your mother is not doing well. Perhaps giving your mother time to re-group, while being sure AL has back story of UTI will help. That UTI confusion is very common and AL should get it. Floating over the logistics with your mother now, if she is confused, might reduce the likelihood that the refusal gains traction for her. Best with this. It seems that all roads need to lead to more supervision and help for her; keeping siblings cool will be crucial as you walk her towards the best setting. </p>
<p>I am a regular follower of this thread and I am so sorry many of you are dealing with loss and change at this time of year. It is very reassuring to me to have this group and know that I am not alone in this crazy and unpredictable journey. My mother was widowed 18 months ago and decided to move to a continuing care community and she’s supposed to make her big payment on Monday. I just got off the phone with her. She is having serious second thoughts and is practically in tears. Mom has high (sometimes unreasonable) expectations and there is no way this place will please her. Mind you, it is a lovely place and she can be quite happy there if she makes an effort. She was excited about the move until one sister planted a seed of doubt. This is the same sister who is suspicious and paranoid about almost everything. Thanks sis. I am the family “fixer” and I’m going to have to get mom re-directed. All I want to do is hide, cry, and have a very big glass of wine. </p>
<p>@Mansfield, What a frustrating turn of events. Have your glass of wine, enjoy the next couple of days. Then you can get back to doing what you must have been doing for months to get your mother to the brink of this move. You are almost there, congratulations. If you mother is going to complain about whatever situation she is in, you have given her the gift of being able to have something specific to complain about (the CCRC), while giving yourself and even your sister the gift of knowing she is in a safe place. </p>
<p>FIL had a few thoughts he had to get down on paper, so he included them in his Christmas card. Nice to hear how and when he proposed to MIL 64 years ago, but there was some extreme TMI about the hours just before and after her death last September. Merry Christmas everybody.</p>
<p>Warm wishes for everyone. Hoping the holidays are a blessing and a time of family closeness and positive memories.</p>
<p>My mom is trying her best to be happy for the holidays and not be a burden when I know it just kills her to be alone for any event. Thank goodness my brother and nephew visited her last weekend for the early Christmas dinner. I enjoyed the closeness of just DH and kids on this ski trip, even while I was melancholy for the big inclusive holidays of my youth. And I wished mom could have been somewhere with family. </p>
<p>I am not sure if I will go up immediately when we get home or delay until jan. 15 to go to the dr. With her. Problem being the 14th is our wedding anniversary. </p>
<p>Hugs to everyone working hard (at many levels) to have your loved ones living out their most senior years as best they can.</p>
<p>H came up with a great idea for his parents’ C-mas gift this year (besides regular gifts). Each of his siblings contributed ‘Christmas Memories’ - I helped edit for grammar, but they were great! FIL called H to thank him - saying it was the best C-mas present!</p>
<p>I have very fond memories; both my parents are deceased.</p>
<p>New memories with my own relatively young family.</p>
<p>SOS tell me more- was this a letter, photos? just for past Christmases?</p>