Quick question - my parents want to give me POA on their bank account so I can pay bills etc. (Which I am already doing online but we want it official and for the bank to be able to talk to me). The bank says we just need to submit a signed POA form. They do not have their own form.
Are the free forms I see online good enough? I hate to think we have to make an appointment with their lawyer etc for this.
I would say yes. You may need to have it notarized, depending on your state. Would it be easier to just have them add you to their account? That’s what I am doing for my parents - just adding me as a 3rd account owner - and then I can just sign checks with my own name, rather than having to write the whole Jane Doe, POA for John Doe.
Thanks. If i go on the account I know it affects the way things are handled when they die. Not sure of the tax implications, which is why I thought POA was the way to go. I am currently paying their bills online and mom still has a checkbook for when she needs it. I guess I should anticipate needing to do more and more vs less 
That’s what my mom did as well - before my dad died they added me to their account as a third owner, and since my dad died my mom opened a new account and added both me and my brother-in-law to the account. More than anything, it makes dealing with back easier.
surfcity, when my dad died, the account I had been added to was the easiest to deal with. You’d need to talk to the bank, but with the one my dad and stepmother had, if someone passed away, s/he dropped off the account and whoever was left owned it. It was completely outside the probate process.
Hmmm. I know it makes it easier once one parent dies but I am concerned about taxes etc. they don’t keep a huge amount of cash in the bank but here are some of the issues I’ve heard about:
Any comments on those concerns?
Does anyone use a professional to help manage a parent’s financial/insurance/tax paperwork? 88-year-old Mom (currently in rehab following a week in the hospital getting hip replacement revision surgery due to a fall) really hasn’t been able to keep up with her paperwork for quite a while. She overcomplicated her record keeping and could barely keep up with it, although she did set up as many bills as possible to autopay. Brother lives very close and is co-signer on one bank account, but he works long hours and has some health issues of his own so would have a hard time handling it on top of everything else. I live 40 minutes away but we’re planning on moving across the country before summer. Today Mom asked me if I could manage all of her insurance/Medicare for this whole hospital/rehab process. Because of both logistics and the fact that I am not yet conversant with Medicare (age 63), I don’t feel prepared to do this. (Aside from the fact that DH deals with our insurance paperwork, not me.) If we weren’t moving and if I lived close enough to be in her home several times a week, I wouldn’t hesitate.
Brother is planning on calling Mom’s tax CPA, the attorney who did her will, and the trust officer who manages Dad’s trust for suggestions. Has anyone paid to have someone track bills, file papers, gather tax documents, and review and handle medical insurance paperwork? What sort of professional would be best for this?
I used to work for a bookkeeper/accountant who would do personal bookkeeping like this for some of her business clients. The issue is, she would just prepare the checks and have the client sign them. She could do all the bank recs and file bills, prepare reports for tax time. You don’t want the person going through the bills to also have access to the account if course.
The medical side is more specialized but I believe there are case managers or other patient advocates who do this.
@Marilyn . Mom’s tax lady is also a CPA and I certainly thought of having her do some. But I needed a handle on it after all. She did collect the mail and open it and send me stuff for a while until I got more things transferred to a PO Box by me. Took about six months. I think your bro is right to call the CPA and also a trust manager. If there is a trust manager that is handling some stuff, couldn’t they do the rest?
Good luck, it is scary out there, but after a while it settles down.
Oh, I also meant to say to get in and check those autopay things ASAP. Mom had $50 a MONTH of $5 or $8 “wallet protection” or credit card loss auto pay things. Really was a leaky boat for money she didn’t have to lose. Auto paid Sears extented warrantee for something thrown away 2 years ago, etc etc etc.
@Marilyn – I handled both my parents and my in-laws financial stuff from 800 and 1500 miles away. That wasn’t a problem. You might consider finding a person who can help with this near where YOU live, so that you can oversee the process and sign checks etc. Your mom is not likely to be able to exercise effective oversight and it isn’t likely to get easier for her as time goes on. Having someone convenient to you is more important than that person being close to the providers, many of whom don’t handle their own billing locally anyway. (My local hospital uses some billing organization in Texas, and several doctors I see use billing services in Salt Lake City.)
Regarding the Forbes article - I’m just talking about being added to a checking account with a few thousand dollars in it - not $400,000 as in the example. It just makes it easier for check writing and so that the bank will talk to me if needed.
Yes, H was added to his parents checking account, as he was paying all the bills and straightening out any financial issues that arose. It would have been much more complicated any other way and didn’t cause any problems for them or his sibs or us. It’s easier for many banks than dealing with a Power of Attorney, just saying.
RVM and HI. Thanks. I’m probably overthinking it as I am prone to do. And it’s not like there’s close to $400,000 in their account! I’d have other questions if that were the case!! 
I’ve seen the autopay account and there is nothing untoward going on. Her problem is dealing with entries in her hand written register when it gets out of date order. I cleaned everything up through October, including her Quicken records, and am working on a monthly register with prewritten lines for all of her auto stuff. But she gets extremely agitated at any suggestion to do anything different than the convoluted way she does it now. We say she has triple entry bookkeeping.
What sort of adviser could one go to with questions on whether Medicare and supplemental insurance is being coded and billed correctly?
If brother is willing to ship me paperwork, I’m willing to straighten things out and ship it back. Mom will not be able to do that for some time. But I think he wants someone that can go to her condo and do it all there, which is why he’s looking for a professional. Mom would have a major fit if all of this totally left her control. We’re saving our energy for the major fit she’ll have when we require her to get in home assistance when she’s released from rehab.
But that’s a whole other story and far better than most of the stories I’ve read here. Knowing about all of your patience and aplomb in dealing with your issues strengthened me in my role in my mother’s latest saga.
Marilyn, I came across this web site when I was trying to find a way to keep my mom in her home: http://www.caremanager.org. I think the types of service available through members of the organization will vary widely depending on where you are, but it might be a good starting point. We’ve gone with a DIY approach, but there are times when I feel like hiring someone to take over some of the responsibilities. Medicare, insurance and taxes have been the biggest challenges. Some of the expenses for assisted care are tax deductible and some are not. Even when it seems things are going smoothly the various health care providers seem to routinely “forget” to submit claims to insurance before sending bills, so you need to have someone with an eye for detail to keep tabs on things.
The doctors are usually knowledgeable about Medicare requirements. My mom’s doctor made sure she was in the hospital for 3 days so that her recovery in skilled nursing would be covered by Medicare. If she had been released after two days it wouldn’t have been covered, makes no sense.
I’ll keep the paperwork on the house. It doesn’t take up that much space. Thanks.
It’s interesting going through the paperwork. Mom did a good job of not letting it pile up to unreasonable proportions, so I’m grateful for that. Still, there’s a lot to be gotten rid of. I’m shredding all of Dad’s medical paperwork, because what’s the point of keeping it now? The Explanation of Benefits file from the insurance companies was HUGE. I’m shredding all of Dad’s, and only keeping the last year’s worth for Mom.
I’m also finding fun stuff. Mom had a “College” file for herself. I found report cards going back to 1945! Plus her report cards when she went to the community college in the 1970s to get her secretarial certification.
Naturally, there’s a file for each of the grandchildren and I went through D’s. It’s in reverse chronological order, so it was like moving back in time. The topmost piece is a thank-you card which D sent them for her HS graduation gift, written on a notecard with her college’s seal. The bottommost piece is a page from a steno pad, evidently written during a phone call with DH on the day of D’s birth. It has D’s gender, weight, length, hair color (“reddish?”), and name. Mom’s not normally a phone-call doodler, but this has lots of doodles on it. She must have been very excited. 
I know, but it’s non-negotiable, unfortunately. It saves the taxpayers a lot of money, I’m sure.
I have found that the key person at the hospital for this kind of stuff is the case manager (or discharge planner, as they’re sometimes called). One of my hospital tactics, learned the hard way, is to be in daily communication with the case manager, beginning on the first day. I’d always let them know loud and clear that Dad could not do any of his own aftercare at home, and Mom couldn’t do it for him, and the AL staff couldn’t do anything resembling medical care. Therefore, it was crucial that he be discharged to skilled nursing, and could we please make sure he stayed for 3 nights? Most of the case managers were really great about that, but a few weren’t, in which case I’d go straight to the charge nurse. But the key is to get it into the record early on, that the patient can’t go directly home from the hospital.
ETA – The other thing to remember is your rights under Medicare. If you feel the patient is being discharged too soon, you can appeal to Medicare. While the appeal is underway, the patient cannot be discharged, and the hospital cannot charge you for the stay.
RVM - I’ve been on my mother’s savings and checking accounts since my father died 30+ years ago and never had a problem. My mother has always claimed all the interest as her income and paid the taxes on it. I can’t imagine how much more difficult my life would’ve been if I didn’t have that access.
Yes, H was on his parents accounts for decades & it made things much easier for all of them. The parents paid taxes on the interest and dividends, but he made sure all the bills were reconciled and promptly paid. My BIL was also on several of his sister’s accounts & it was very helpful. H & BIL are in a business together but I tend to do a lot of the billpaying, so I have also been added as an authorized signer on the account. It really makes life easier for all of us.