All of the above…there really isn’t a wrong way to celebrate a life.
My mom’s favorite color was green; my dad, siblings and I (and I think some of the grand kids) wore something green to the Mass, but we did not request that of everyone else.
I don’t know if you were referring to 6-8pm tonight, so I apologize if this is too late. We had a funeral, but it was led by a lay leader, not a rabbi and the entire service, but for the traditional prayers, were the three eulogies my sisters and I shared, along with a short poem my niece wrote for my father. Everyone told us afterwards how, each in our own way, we captured the essence that was my dad…my middle sister covered the data, the youngest his personality and mine was mostly about the relationships he nurtured with all his grandchildren. We each wrote our thoughts without consulting the others…it just worked. I never thought I could do it, and afterwards I realized I would never have been able to not do it. I think the key to these things is to listen to your heart and do what it’s telling you. There is no right and no wrong…only what feels right.
Well, my folks are in Rome with two family members. 1st day there and mom has already fallen twice, spraining her ankle!
At least she’s wearing some of the clothes I loaned her to keep warm.
I’m psyched to be taking a river cruise with Mom and sister in May. It’ll be great, because Mom will mostly be able to stay on the ship and see interesting sights. There are excursions, but I expect we’ll mostly be doing our own thing. Mom needs some babysitting, but between me, sis and Mr. Fang, we’ll be able to keep a good eye on her.
my mother started to forget my birthday about 2 years ago- mild stage dementia , this year she called me from the assisted living to say ‘hi’ one day before it. I told her it was 'my birthday tomorrow '. she asked me how old I was and that was it. I asked her if she remembered my brothers BD (first born) and she said she did not. this is the first year H’s father did not remember my birthday… anyone else notice this as an early sign?
@HImom wow - my mom’s trip to Rome she fell 3 times. She was with a group. This was the beginning of the neurological signs of her dementia. The group was great - several looked after her like she was their mother. On one fall, she knocked her 1 carat diamond out of its setting, and several guys patiently looked for it on the cobble street. Mom said a prayer to St Anthony and it was found!
Mom did go on one more trip, but her grandson was her ‘attendant’.
Interesting about the birthdays, I don’t think my FIL has any dementia, but I was physically at his house last year on my birthday. I did not mention it, I was cranky enough to be spending my birthday there, I did not want to have to weather the congrats and put on a happy face. But we had some discussion that morning about what the date was for some other purpose so he knew the date & his calendar was on his desk with my birthday noted on that date.
But we have found he gave up birthday cards and all that a couple of years ago. Just too much for him.
We have an interesting situation, FIL saw an add in the paper for an HVAC inspection. He paid real cash money to have some dude inspect his heater. The bids go as high as $40k to replace it all because it is “unsafe” and I don’t even see the A/C mentioned though that may be part of the bid. Luckily FIL called DH and sent him the bid & DH is talking to the guy. Reviews on yelp are interesting, 1 star from people about the pricing, 5 stars from a bunch of people who sound really simple minded and grateful for how nice the guys are. FIL has always been cheap cheap cheap and for him to pay for a bid/inspection is bizarre and now to be thinking this “nice young man” has saved him from an unsafe heater is scary.
We are not sure just how to prevent him from making stupid mistakes, but are grateful he called before signing anything to install a super duper premier heater in a 50+ year old tear down.
Fang, I remember your saying a year or two ago that you hoped you’d be able to take another trip with your mom. I’m so glad you’re going to do it! A river cruise sounds perfect, especially since there’ll be a team to take care of her. Have fun!!
At her age every trip, every visit is a blessing.
CF, I’ll look forward to hearing about it. One of my mom’s bucket list items that she and my dad never got to was a river cruise to see the tulips - my sisters and I are thinking we’ll take her next spring.
That’s exactly the cruise we’re going on, a tulip cruise.
Well, I will look forward to hearing all the details! What ships are you considering?
We’ll be on the AmaSonata.
RMH, I made a special effort to celebrate my parent’s birthdays this past fall. I expected it but was a bit distressed that they forgot mine just one week after my dad’s. I think it was the first time and it represented a huge loss in my relationship with my parents. Kind of a big milestone in the progress of dementia.
I’ve tried to be good about sending cards to family members on birthdays and special occasions now that my mom can’t do it anymore. My mom was the only one who acknowledged our anniversary every year and I realize now how much I took for granted. She never forgot a single birthday and her thank you cards would be in the mail less than 24 hours after a gift was opened.
Anyone have experience with compression stockings for elders? My mom has been almost fainting a lot, lately-- it’s known as orthostatic hypotension, where her body doesn’t compensate correctly when she stands up, and she gets lightheaded. The doctor prescribed compression stockings and some drug or other.
But she hates the compression stockings and won’t wear them. I was wondering if anyone knew of compression stockings designed for sports that might work for her. I know that the ones she has been prescribed are probably better, but they’re not better if she won’t wear them. Something less ugly, but that she would wear, could be an improvement.
I can understand why she dislikes them. One time when I was bedridden, I had to wear compression stockings. I wore them, but I hated them.
When my dad needed compression socks (not stockings) and his feet were always cold, I ordered smart wool compression socks, like athletes wear. My mom tried some and they were too tight for her (she also should be wearing them all the time), but since my dad died she has been wearing his socks. I don’t know if socks would be sufficient for your mom, but it might be worth a try. For the record, they are knee length and are made specifically in different compression and cushioning levels.
I think sports compression socks are a great idea! Maybe you could pull up a few on line and let her pick out which ones she likes. That way she might be more inclined to wear them. My mom had to wear the prescription ones due to her phlebitis, and I had to buy a pair at the drugstore when I developed some significant swelling and and a bakers cyst after a ski collision. Mine weren’t the most attractive, but they made my leg feel so much better I didn’t care. They were traditional tan ones. DH has a neon green compression sock for running. I sometimes wonder if it glows in the dark.
I’m pretty sure the ones Mom has are up to the thigh.
My mom wears these that we ordered from amazon: Therapeutic Circulation Stockings - Ladies - Tan (1 Pair) by DPI. Luckily, she likes this kind and wears them all the time. There are so many kinds - it is worth it to find the kind they are willing to wear.