Watching parents agenis tough. In addition to the cardiac testing did your mother have an MRI of her brain ?
I’m not positive what testing she had in the ER in Nov, but I believe they did testing to rule out stroke. Not sure if that was MRI or other testing. In any case NOTHING was found.
Honestly, it’s tough to know what the folks eat or drink as the two of them live in their own home and neither has much memory.
In Nov., she had just had a significant meal, but not sure if she drank much, if anything since she doesn’t like to drink near bedtime do she doesn’t have to wake to use the bathroom.
My mother had a benign meningioma decades ago, with short lasting (minutes only) seizures of aphasia ( couldn’t speak ), sometimes would fall down. So that’s why I wondered about MRI
I have a friend (my parents’ age/generation) who is an amazing lady. Her first H died of melonoma at age 76. She married an older widower (now 90+) who lied about his health - he told her he was in great shape, and later she found out he was on 14 medications! He was able to manage to do some of the things he promised her - travel and such, until 7 years later he needed AL. He ended up in rehab, and was not strong enough/capable enough to go back to AL, and now is in skilled care.
This lady had a demanding/controlling mom (she was an only child) and her first H was very helpful with managing ‘mom’. The couple raised a large family (7 children). Woman looks fabulous - you would never believe she had more than a few children.
I told my friend she did a great job with current H, and to feel no guilt! 2nd H has been very demanding of her time and probably pulls every control buttons he can. However with his care in 24/7 skilled care, she can have a life outside of her visits and errands for him.
It depends on one’s personality, expectations, ability to accept deterioration and health issues with aging - my dad was very accepting and he managed it with grace and dignity (kept as healthy as he could until he had aggressive cancer and died 8 months after small tumor was found on routine testing). FIL was angry for a while (strokes causing mobility and other issues), but gained acceptance with time (he and MIL are very debilitated but still managing living at home and happy to still be able to live at home).
In our medium sized town, where a lot of older parents move here to be with child/family here, there is a big growth of AL, rehab, and skilled care facilities. Facilities are competing for nurse due to supply/demand factors. CNAs are hard working as are the nursing staff in these facilities. Patients and families can be demanding, in part due to the changing paradigm, the hard facts, the difficult choices, the financial implications.
@HImom, it sounds like a seizure. I believe you also alluded to loss of bladder/bowel function. Often the ER will do a CT scan but not necessarily an MRI and typically not with contrast.
No incontinance, mainly feeling limp, clammy, shaking and faint rapid heart rate, I’ve been told. I wasn’t there–heard from those who were.
Himom- perhaps @GTalum referred to your post
Yes, that was a different incident. Symptoms were totally diffferent for that time vs yesterday and Thanksgiving. Aging is definitely complicated.
Is there appropriate treatment if something is found on an MRI with contrast? Mom is 87 and otherwise becoming more frail and forgetful.
My MD BIL who was present for these episodes consulted with a neurologist who opined that the episode yesterday and at Thanksgiving sounded like fainting and NOT seizure.
Blood sugar issues? You said no one’s sure what they eat on their own. Diabetes can cause various incidents. As can dehydration. (I just happen to be looking into a few things.)
Her internist regularly checks her lab work when she comes in for check ups. I suspect many of us have some level of dehydration, but especially SRs. It is very difficult to really monitor what others living on their own are eating or drinking.
It could also be something, for HiMom’s Mom, to do with blood pressure-POTS, NCGS, etc. Just that her blood pressure is not always as responsive as it should be, possibly manageable with awareness. My mother had a couple of faints, a ton of testing, neurocardiogenic syncope, which just means that when you change position, the signal to send more blood to the brain is off kilter and then, so are you 
Yes, doc and I try to remind mom to change positions to more vertical very slowly. She has had varicose veins nearly all her life, so circulation isn’t great anyway. Aging folks are more susceptible to POTS, for sure. I’ve never been present when these symptoms were displayed, so rely on MD BIL to let us know and make appropriate recommendations, as he was with sis and present all 3 times.
So this is a new one for us. Mom became weak and confused rather rapidly so was hospitalized. Her temperature was very low and several infection possibilities are being investigated. I knew to check her for a fever but didn’t know that sometimes the elderly will have a low temp when they’re sick. It’s been scary as she hasn’t talked (except an “ouch”) or opened her eyes in three days. Finally, today, she opened her eyes, talked and knows who I am. Next up, getting her strength back so she can walk. Also, as someone who has rarely been in or around a hospital, we have had a good experience and I appreciate so much the work each of her caregivers have contributed.
@psychmomma I did not know that about low temps. Did you get any kind of definite diagnosis?
Mom and Dad signed a contract on a personal care community near me yesterday. It’s been a whirlwind month for them, having to absorb the fact that they cannot stay in their current CCRC, me showing them the new place and getting them on board with it. Dad is fine because he hates where he is in the medical unit but mom really hates to leave her hometown and friends. It’s only an hour away but I suspect it’s more emotional than practical, her reluctance. She does realize that there is no other choice though.
Now I just have to figure out the logistics of moving most of their stuff, but packing up stuff they cannot take (china cabinet, books, etc) and deciding where all those things will end up. Plus we have my son graduating in a few weeks so I do need to focus on that for a bit too. I know that in a few months all will be settled, but I feel like so much of my life is being neglected and ignored at the moment 
psychmomma, that is really scary! hugs.
surfcity, it is the right thing to do. Just remember that unless there is a big reason to rush, you can pay rent for another month to take time to pack up stuff. Also if your DS is graduating … can he take cleanout/move stuff as a part time job?
It won’t last forever (moving)so care for the person/people and let the “stuff” be taken care of by someone else or later. That is my 2¢ anyway. The stuff will be there and doesn’t care if it waits a bit. Feels good to go after it all at once, but really, you can take a breath and take some time.
So many of us have neglected our lives for days/weeks/months, even years, it’s hard to know at the time if it’s a crisis or not. For some seniors, everything is a crisis. I would advise not to stress what happens to what they cannot take too much, those are very emotion filled decisions, put the stuff in a storage unit for a few months until everyone is settled. They may have forgotten about the stuff or it may be much less tense deciding. We stored some of my Mom’s stuff for a while and when the time came, there was no drama to be had and decisions were easy, yet had we done it the moving week, it would have been much harder. Same with my in laws stuff, so many decisions to be making in a short time, the few items I stored were easy to deal with later.
Thanks! Still not sure what happened. Mom was treated as if she had sepsis. Two strong antibiotics alternating. She is now in a nursing/rehab facility to regain strength and walking ability. She needs to go up three steps to get into our house. She seems to have accepted the move from hospital to rehab ok. She’s still pretty worn out so we’ll see if her feistiness returns as she gets stronger.
@somemom, That’s a really good suggestion. When we moved my Mom we did it in two trips (she moved two hours away to my sister’s place) and by the end I felt we were throwing away things that were worth keeping but we were so exhausted and just couldn’t think or deal with them. Months after moving my Mom she asked for things that we thought we had packed away but couldn’t find, and probably got rid of. Nothing especially valuable money-wise, but things that had sentimental value. It would have been a good idea to have stored them for a few months and then re-evaluated.