For clothing, my mom likes Draper’s and Damon. I think most of their pants are elastic waist but quite nice. We used to have a brick and mortar store but I think it is only online now. http://www.drapers.com/?cid=ps_dd_google_br_damon+and+draper&src_code=DEAPAID&pr_code=D4895
Also Lands End has some for women and one really good pair for men.
Walmart and Lands End (can be returned at Sears) have elastic waist slacks with pockets, which my mom does favor. We have tried buying her things from other stores but end up with that the most.
I have also gotten inexpensive things like that at Kohls
Agree that Lands End might fit bill and frequent discounts will help keep her happy. Large range of sizes and the elastic waist pants wear well. I live near a Talbots outlet and buy many clothes for my nursing home confined m-i-l there. Dept. stores may carry Alfred Dunner clothes- last I knew they were the equivalent of Garanimals for senior women; total mix and match. Appleseeds (online and some stores) also caters to her needs, with range of sizes.
Wider boatneck tops avoid the exposure of scoop necks, while allowing easy changes. If your m-i-l navigates dressing relatively independently, keeping her shoes simple and secure will make a difference. My m-i-l found 3/4 length sleeves easier to manage, especially when eating.
Happy finds.
She wears these tops:
https://www.walmart.com/ip/White-Stag-Women-s-Essential-Long-Sleeve-Crewneck-T-shirt/145436629
Both are easy for her to pull on and off.
My mom and dad have been moved to the first floor. Unfortunately, my dad isn’t speaking to me and I think he’s going to sneak upstairs any chance he gets. He was insisting on Sunday that he and a friend, who is equally fragile, would move a giant non-functioning television downstairs this week. sigh
We set my parents up for weekly grocery delivery and Mom is going to move her prescriptions to a place that delivers as well. I stocked them up on toiletries, cleaning supplies, OTC meds and treats. Mom assures me that they mail all but one bill now (when they used to pay all local bills personally.) She agreed to use senior transport for local medical visits, and we have a relative that will take them to out-of-town visits. She’s talking with neighbors to arrange taking out heavy garbage cans and shoveling snow.
This would feel like more progress if my mom hadn’t ended up in the emergency room that night. Her blood sugar crashed while she was napping – I only knew because she moaned – and Dad was unhelpful, obstructive, and combative when I called 911. The EMTs gave her dextrose after a blood sugar reading of 33, but the expected “bounce back” didn’t occur. Then they discovered that their blood pressure cuff was defective, took her BP with another cuff, and found it really elevated. It kept going up throughout her arguing against the emergency room and rose further once we were there. Essentially, had I not been present, she would have had a stroke or died from the blood sugar issue. Dad would never have called for emergency services.
I feel so defeated…
You are doing good Nerdmom! Just remember, moving them to the downstairs was really just the 1st step. Parents are like kids, they test you, “I told you this wouldn’t work.” And it won’t work overnight. They will need some time to adjust to the new routines. Are they taking their medications? I had to resort to counting pills and to be truthful, nothing I could do to make them take their medications. I pretty much counted them so I could report to the doctor how much they actually took so the doctor wouldn’t keep on increasing due to ineffective treatment. Mom wouldn’t have the cognition to take her meds daily, but for some reason she would “remember” on the day of a doctor visit.
But, I was able to let go of the meds because most of their meds, except mom’s BP meds, were to “prevent” stuff such as the statin for cholesterol, aspirin, donepezil which to be quite honest, I didn’t care if they took or not. What are we preventing? Once they needed support for their care (they hated having aides over) no reason to even delay the cognitive decline (wasn’t doing it anyway),
But, in your case, your parents have real things they need to manage that medications will make better. I got the daily help when mom ended up in the ER for malignant hypertension. Shortly thereafter we realized if a cognitively impaired person needs support pretty much 24/7.
@oldmom4896 she can read and stopped reading her romance novel that she read the same page of for about 3 months. I don’t know if she just finds it too boring now. I plan to get her eyes checked.
Kohls and Walmart have been my usual go-to stores for clothing for my mother.
Yay, my mom was just approved for Medicaid coverage for long term care at the county nursing home (which is really good)!
@GTalum Yes, they are taking their meds. Dad was really messing his up, but we discovered it last spring and started having the Health Department nurse come over to pour up his meds (since Mom has diabetic retinopathy and can’t see to do it.) Mom nags him until he takes them.
He was drawing up her insulin for her but we realized that he wasn’t doing it correctly, so the Health Department is doing that for her as well. She can manage the rest of her meds on her own.
There is cognitive hearing and vision loss, where the person can see and/or hear but not make sense of it or follow it. My folks both have that and can no longer read for pleasure. They CAN still read menus and invitations but not books.
They also have difficulty following simple plots of plays and movies and tv shows that jump around.
They have difficulty hearing and when they do hear, have difficulty absorbing what is being said to them.
It is heartbreaking, as books and TV were major sources of enjoyment for both of them.
^ yes. It’s similar to our abilities when we’re quite ill. You can look at a page or have the tv on, but not process, not be aware you aren’t. And sometimes, the desire to concentrate isn’t there.
As far as clothing for my Mother and MIL (both short) when they were sick, older, I bought and either brought them to them or sent them to them, NEVER took them with me, returned what did not fit or did not like, asked the assisted living to keep the brand new ones that did not fit my mother and give to others:
-PREGNANCY Shirts at Target - they were the best loose and flowy and modern ones I could find
-Athletic Shoes at Kohls
-Pants in the Petite Section (stretchy old lady waist) at Target or Penny’s
-Bras were not possible so we went with Cami’s at Target sold as underwear or night wear
-Night wear at Target button down top/elastic pull up bottom, the ones at Walmart were more choices but way too big for them
-Sweaters from Target big, button down with pockets
Always bought the mediums even when it made more sense to get the small. Larger size was more more comfortable for them and don’t forget the Depends they start wearing.
Good luck!
I wish I would have thought about larger sized clothes at WalMart when I was pregnant…more stylish and less money. I got a couple of nice slack and tunic top in pg wear at JCP at that time. Which may not be where one can get now. But agree about elastic waist and a little big sizing for comfort.
The roller coaster continues. My dad’s been in the hospital for a few days because his blood pressure (and then blood sugar) have been erratic. I think much of that is due to his brain injury but having moved a few months ago to a new personal care place and getting all new doctors, they aren’t familiar with his routines and of course are acting out of an abundance of caution.
The worst part of it is he really has bad sundowning when he is in an unfamiliar place. The hospital called at 1 am to tell me they had to put him in restraints; which made me so sad for him, because he does not understand, and for the staff who have to deal with him and think he is some kind of monster, when he is the most introverted, calm person on the face of the planet, before being hit by a car.
I was seriously wide awake and had to stop myself from planning a trip to the house of the old lady who hit him, just to scream at her how she’d ruined by parents golden years and by extension monopolized three+ years of my life having to manage their new challenges.
Tomorrow he will be discharged to the rehab floor of his current facility. I am worried that this will still be unfamiliar enough that he will become belligerent. What can be done about patients like this? My mom cannot be with him 24/7 for her own health . . .I just hope he can get his legs strong enough to go back to their apartment where he is just a sweet docile old man!
Thanks everyone for the clothing suggestions. I poked around on the suggested websites and then emailed her a few links to check out. Fingers crossed that she can adapt to a new way of shipping as what she is currently wearing is pretty shabby and needs replacing soon.
I live close to my Dad’s Memory Care so I stop by a couple times a week and take him out for Sees Candy and a drive once or twice a month. My sister lives an hour away. She hasn’t always been super helpful, but got laid off a few months ago, so she is coming down once or twice a month to see him. It is frustrating for her because she will drive down to visit and after about 20 minutes they will run out of things to talk about and my Dad will suggest that the visit is over. So Sunday she decided to pick him up and bring him by my house to visit with my dog, family, etc… She called ahead of time and he looked great. They had trimmed his hair and beard (usually he won’t let anyone near his hair or beard). We had a nice visit. I actually thought he was a bit more coherent than usual. Then on their way home, when my sister turned to take him back to his Memory Care he started screaming and yelling that he wanted to go to his “other house”. She tried to remind him that he sold his house 18 months ago, but he wouldn’t stop screaming and yelling. I guess it was quite a scene, but he did end up following her down the hall to his place.
Y’all are making me feel so OLD! I love Alfred Dunner clothes! Hint: Belk.com usually has really good prices on them. I still have to go “to work” every day and run the company that my step-son refused to take over at his dad’s death, and Alfred Dunner is comfortable and slightly professional looking. Garanimals for seniors. Hmph!
My mother is still declining slowly, but now she cries every time she talks about my brother (whose Alzheimer’s is getting worse). My niece thought about bringing him to visit this weekend, but talked herself out of it; there is a chance he wouldn’t recognize Mom and that would destroy her. My problem is now that it’s getting dark earlier, she starts wanting to go to bed by about 5:30 or 6:00; it’s added to by the fact that she talks to my brother on the phone all the time and he sleeps a lot so he is constantly “going to bed”. What he does, she thinks she needs to do. She turned 97 on October 28.
It is so hard watching folks age, particularly when they get angry and unpleasant to be around in the process. It’s quite draining to be driving someone who is so often swearing and grumpy so much. I’m sorry, if you insist on being unpleasant we limit our time with you because your bad mood is contagious.
I know you don’t like going to the doctor and have him scold you for breaking your promise to use your CPAP but it really does affect your heart and health. It is your choice but no one can help you unless you care.
@mykidsgranny- no offense intended. I was recommending Alfred Dunner. Their mix and match approach made shopping for my mother much easier and she loved the clothes. Garanimals was actually a joke between us. Looked them up and their clothes still seem to be conveniently grouped to coordinate. Sorry for the weak attempt at humor.