@mykidsgranny When Hospice first took over MIL’s care – only one hospice option, and affiliated with the hospital – they didn’t have spaces available in the hospice facility. Within a day or two they had a bed there, but we decided not to move her since the transition from ICU to regular room seemed to confuse and trouble her.
Warm thoughts to both of you.
Thinking of you and your mom, @mykidsgranny, hoping all transitions are smooth, easy, and peaceful.
Hope this is the hospice you were hoping for @mykidsgranny and keeping my fingers crossed there isn’t too much moving around.
Well, it isn’t the one my step-daughter told me to ask for but I am happy with the one affiliated with the hospital. She still has that broken arm, and when they have to turn her to clean her up, she still cries out. This hospital is the cream of the crop in our area; they seem to attract the best nurses and doctors. They are so incredibly gentle with her when they do have to handle her. They turn her every little bit because her skin is so fragile, but they do it very gently.
When I told the grandchildren (all grown; my daughter and my brother’s two who are here with me for the duration) that the fluids had been removed, I had to talk them down off the ledge. But Mom has a health directive that very distinctly says she doesn’t want anything artificial.
@mykidsgranny, you are serving your mom well. These issues are very difficult and sometimes loved ones don’t understand that prolonging a painful life is NOT a kindness.
@mykidsgranny, (((((hugs))))). It was such a lonely decision when I had to carry out my dad’s directives once he had a hemorrhagic stroke while in the hospital and would not recover. He was also able to stay in the hospital under hospice care until he died there. They moved him from a critical care unit to a private room, and they took really good care of him until the end. I still think about it, the decisions I had to make at the end, and I know it’s what he wanted, and what I would want for myself. But it’s really hard. I am so sorry.
It is a lonely process. I put my dad in palliative care about 2 months ago and signed a MOST (some places it’s a POLST) directing, in addition to do not resuscitate, not to transfer to the hospital or even start fluids and no antibiotics for non-communicable diseases http://www.ncmedsoc.org/non_members/public_resources/MOSTform_sample.pdf
Even though I don’t think dad is close to death, I know he would not want his life prolonged in any way. It’s hard to make these decisions on your own.
Implementing MIL’s directives was absolutely wrenching. Fortunately she wasn’t in pain, so we had a few days’ latitude to consult with neurologists and neurosurgeons about her prognosis. MIL was in the process of updating all her wills, trusts, directives, so we spoke with her attorney at length. He couldn’t tell us specifics, but he was able to confirm that DH was meeting the wishes and intent of everything he had learned about her in their discussions. We also involved our sons. Our analytical sons, who respond best to thorough explanations and compelling evidence. It helped DH carry it quite a bit, I’m sure. I’m not even the one who was charged with making the decision, and I still feel as though I didn’t do enough. My heart goes out to those of you on the front line of the process.
Here is an article about helping downsize ( or not ) and dealing with possessions and clutter.
MIL committed to a highly-regarded CCRC only a few days before her stroke, and she wrote some very hefty checks. Yesterday they refunded every last cent, including the non-refundable application fee. This was on top of their professionalism, encouragement, tact, and kindness to MIL and to us. It’s so heartening to have a place do business the way they have in our family’s dealings with them.
My mother slipped away about 3:30 this morning. Her pain is gone.
My condolences, dear mykidsgranny. You did well by her. May your memories comfort you through your grief.
@mykidsgranny - I am so sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace during this difficult time.
So sorry. But glad you could be there for her, @mykidsgranny.
@mykidsgranny Sorry for your loss. I hope your memories and family are all a source of comfort. Slipping away is a good outcome, hard to watch, but simple in the end I thought.
@mykidsgranny So, so sorry.
((mykidsgranny)) I am so sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss
@mykidsgranny, sorry for your loss!
@mykidsgranny - Sorry for your loss. May memories be a comfort. Take good care and thanks for updating us. You have been on my mind.