@psychmomma bless you or finding so many things to entertain her! Ever since my mother moved in, she is bored, her favorite reality TV is to watch us @-) We’ve tried so many things to get her things to keep her busy and between arthritic hands and the beginning of cognitive decline, it’s so difficult to find anything. iPad with computer games is great, that plus TV is about all she does.
@GTalum’s nearby B&C home was the perfect solution for each of my in laws, but I have not yet located one near me, though am looking into it as she gets more needy.
@somemom LOL reality TV! I felt like a goldfish around my mother!
Yep, the time we installed a patio with huge slabs of stone, she sat on the porch and watched the entire time, it’s a really weird feeling.
@somemom My mom insists that no strangers be in and out of the house. We had to send her to my MIL’s for a few days just to get the shower installed that she needed in order to bathe. I WISH she’d pull up a chair and enjoy!
Oh dear, @NerdMom88, isn’t is funny how particular a senior, who is relying on you for everything, can be! Mine likes to great everyone as hostess.
I just wish she had been willing to craft any sort of life, with any sort of interests of her own, since Dad died, other than me and my family.
@psychmomma thanks for the welcome ! and the ideas to keep her busy. Right now it is just TV mostly
@surfcity I will look into Xanax as you mentioned it isn’t an antidepressant. It had a positive effect on anxiety, mood, health problems etc so it was helpful. The doctor said it isn’t good for anyone
@GTalum so glad you have them close and well cared for by professionals. It is hard to find good care
@readthetealeaves my folks’ doctors have tried Celexa and Zoloft(sertraline) for them with good results. I think they are the first line SSRI drugs
@readthetealeaves My dad is taking Escilalopram (Lexapro) and is working great. My mom is taking Sertraline (Zoloft).
My dad and stepmother both took Lexapro with good results.
My mother is starting Mirtazapine this week after fluoxatine and Celexa did not do well for her.
It’s good to learn a bit on the various Rx. Lexapro/Celexa can show some good in a week or two eg, better sleep, but can need 6-8 weeks to work on depression/anxiety. And with our elders, we’re often relying on our own observations to see how it helps. It’s not like they can say, wow, I’ve felt better this week.
Meanwhile, depending on half life and etc, some can suffer the effects of missing a dose or two and then it can take time to rebuild to a therapeutic level.
So just as our elders’ patterns can present differently, so can the fixes. And it takes time to see if we think there’s improvement. Talk this through with the doc.
The discussion of anti depressants and mood stabilizers brings back a funny story. I was in the midsts of taking my mother and my aunt to multiple doctors, dealing with home health care agencies, both were angry and agitated. I told my mother’s PMD that we weren’t leaving the office until he wrote a script for one of us, it didn’t matter if it was for her or for me. 
Tax reporting question for anyone who has hired in-home help for an elderly parent.
My mother’s LTC carrier reimburses her for the money she pays to the certified nurse assistant who assists her at home. The LTC carrier will issue a 1099 to my mother in January, reflecting all reimbursements from 2018. The benefits are not taxable income to my mother because the LTC plan is a tax-qualified policy. However, I imagine that we should issue a 1099 to the licensed CNA so that she can report the income and pay the appropriate FICA.
Has anyone issued a 1099 to a care provider? Do I just issue it under my mother’s SSN?
I realize that it would be less of an administrative hassle to hire someone through an agency, but now that we have started down this path and my mother is familiar with the aide, I would prefer to not look for a new care provider.
Thanks in advance!
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/hiring-in-home-caregiver-affects-taxes-171023.htm I’m not sure if this article will answer your question.
@rosered55 – Thanks, yes, that does help, but unfortunately I had not anticipated that my mother would be considered the employer and liable for paying the employer portion of FICA, in addition to disability and worker’s comp. I can now see why people hire care via agencies. I had better get cracking on this before too much more time elapses.
@CT1417 sorry I can’t help. I’ve always hired through agencies for just that reason. I always worried they would be hurt on the job and I’d have a legal issue. Though as someone looking into long term care insurance, I’m looking for insight. The biggest complaint I hear is the hassles with insurance companies and getting them to pay. Has this been a big problem for you or your mom? Anyone else have insights into long term care?
Cant the employee do all that filing, as self employed or an independent contractor? I know state laws can vary.
Sorry, maybe my question is off. Theres a difference between paying someone and what you’re then technically responsible for. https://www.journalofaccountancy.com/issues/2016/sep/taxes-for-caregivers.html
“The three categories to examine are financial control, behavioral control, and the specific type of relationship between the parties”
Independent contractor can mean they fulfill tasks as they see best. You aren’t dictating what they do when and how. I’m sorry if this confuses, but I see a loophole.
@lookingforward — that is the interpretation that I had in mind, and while I would LOVE to take advantage of a loophole, I don’t think it can be used here. I had planned to issue a 1099 to the aide in January, thinking she would pay the employer and employee portions of FICA, but in reading further, I think my mother is the employer and needs to submit her share of FICA in addition to obtaining worker’s comp and unemployment insurance.
I found this useful explanation late last night. https://www.journalofaccountancy.com/issues/2016/sep/taxes-for-caregivers.html
The aide has to show up at agreed-upon times and help my mother in the house, as needed, or drive her to medical appointments. At the moment, only driving to medical appointments is time-sensitive, so she could arrive or depart an hour earlier, but I am afraid that I still need to treat this as an employee-employer relationship.
Off to try to find a payroll firm now…
@GTalum – Re: Getting LTC carrier to pay…yes, it absolutely has been a challenge. There is a lot of documentation that must be filed, but I have managed to get them to pay, for now. Someone called last week with new questions, leading me to think they may be questioning their own verdict of necessity.
I am sure you know all this, if you are presently looking into policies…but in case you do not, I will type out the little I know from handling my mother’s policy. The LTC carrier has to approve the insured as incapable of performing two of the six ADLs. In my mother’s case, the carrier sent a nurse to evaluate my mother in her home. Once they determined her to be benefit-eligible, the 100 day elimination period clock started ticking. My mother’s policy allowed one day of care per week to count as seven days toward the 100 day elimination period, so as long as she received in-home care from a licensed provider once a week, that care would reduce the elimination period by seven days. (We paid a retired nurse off the books for the other days.)
I had to have the provider submit an independent care provider form that included copy of current license and SSN. Once the LTC carrier approved the provider, I submitted another form that documented the care provided and copy of cancelled check to verify payment. Medicare EOBs sufficed for the in-home PT care and the LTC carrier had another form for the CNA to complete. Oddly, the person who comes to the house to draw blood every couple of weeks did not satisfy the elimination period.
Needless to say, I am set up on her bank and Medicare so that I can pull down screenshots of Medicare EOBs and cancelled checks.
Now that the LTC carrier has started paying claims and I have direct deposit set up, the process is fairly straightforward. My mother mails me the form that the aide completes each week. I pull down copies of cancelled checks and email those along with scanned copy of the LTC form to the LTC carrier. The reimbursement is deposited in my mother’s bank and I receive a paper statement in the mail. It was much easier to have all correspondence sent to me. Otherwise, my mother would open the letters and read them over the phone to me!
My current concern (beyond the tax filing) is that I think the LTC carrier approved my mother as eligible when she should not be eligible. Her 20+ year old contract includes a tighter definition than one sees today, and I have the feeling that the carrier approved her using the looser eligibility definition. Her contract does not include bathing as an ADL, and by rights, that is the second ADL that allows her to be considered benefit-eligible. Her policy only includes dressing, eating transferring, toileting, and continence. Bathing is usually included, but is not for her policy.
Her plan will pay very generous benefits, if she lives long enough to deteriorate further and/or suffers cognitive decline. She is mostly just weak and a significant fall risk. (Had one bad fall six months ago and am very happy we had purchased and insisted she use one of those ADT fall alert necklaces as she was a floor away from the squawk box. If we had purchased the type that did not send out an ambulance, who knows how long she would have been on the floor.)
She still pays her own bills and manages well enough around the house, as long as I have groceries delivered and arrange the caregivers to ensure someone is there to change the sheets, put out the garbage, anything where she could fall. She continues to deteriorate and my challenge is to stay out in front of that deterioration and convince her that these safeguards are needed.
After all of that rambling, you can tell me if I have answered what you want to know or if I have gone off in a completely incorrect direction!