Thank you @rosered55. I will read the attachments and also ask about wheelchair rental. We are not there yet, but I want to know the options before the need is immediate.
I have not researched the local handyman approach, mostly because I don’t know a local handyman near my mother’s house, but will ask around. The first two custom-built metal ramps companies I called came in at $2200 and $2800 (different material) so I definitely need to shop around.
Thanks so much for your help.
@CT1417 For a shower chair I was going to go Amazon too but the local Rite Aid had the same chair for cheaper, I could look at three different types and I could pick up that day. I know that isn’t always the case that a drugstore is cheaper but for the shower chair it was. Easy to put together (no tools) and it works well
@readthetealeaves – Thank you! I will call the Rite Aid that is near her house and see if they carry any in stock. I am not conveniently close by and I try to avoid involving my local brother in shopping tasks! He is great with other things, but best to know your strengths and weaknesses.
I am debating between the shower chair with back and two arms vs. the transfer bench with back and one arm. My instinct suggests that the chair will offer more security now and then we will have to replace with the transfer bench, if she ends up in a wheelchair. Which type did you purchase?
@CT1417 Your welcome. Lol about brother shopping. I also have bought items online at Rite Aid and shipped to home too. I bought the chair with the back and no arms as she doesn’t like to be confined when showering (she likes to face sometimes and turn to the side etc with help) and someone has to be with her so I have no worry of her falling. The shower she uses is a stall with no tub so we didn’t use a transfer bench but who knows what the future will bring. Hope you find what works for her
@readthetealeaves – She is still showering on her own, but increasingly weak and frail. We had a new barrier-free shower built, with handheld sprayer. However, your comment about wanting the ability to turn around is making me question the arms on the chair. Hmmm…
I may never need a transfer bench? I think a shower wheelchair exists, that can roll over the toiler and into the shower, but I am not there yet.
Thanks again!
I bought a rollator at the local medical supply store. They had 20 or more to choose from, so very helpful to feel their weight, ease of rolling, sturdiness, width, height, etc. I bought one with a nice sized built in seat and basket.
When my mom started to become frail and less steady, I installed two grab bars in the bathroom, and added grab bars in the garage going into the house, and handles by the front door. They giver her something to hold on to while taking that step up or down into or out of the house (with my assistance).
Now that we are farther along, she has a commode that fits over the toilet with armrests that she can use to help lift and lower herself, I do as much cleaning and changing in there as I can.
Mom’s wheelchair came home with her from rehab after a hospitalization, per her doctor’s order for it.
You’re smart to be thinking and planning ahead. You can never quite predict what and when things will take a sudden turn.
My mom was measured for a wheelchair by the PT at the rehab facility. Same with a walker. Both were then ordered for her. The walker had to be adjusted to her height and the chair for leg length and position. The PTs were vested in Mom getting the right equipment that fit her.
I think the shower bench for the ILs was bought at either a local med supply company or through amazon.
We bought a thing for Mom to use to help her get out of bed - kind of like the back of a chair with supports and straps that went under the mattress. She could use it to grab hold of when getting up from bed to keep her balance.
@CT1417 Np. Maybe you won’t need a transfer bench with the shower wheelchair. It does exist. It often is a wheelchair/commode chair/ and shower chair in one. We used one in rehab and it swung over the toilet and into the shower and out to the bed. They make smaller ones that are called “shower transport” chairs too
@psychmomma love the ideas for the grab bars all over the house
I have used Amazon, local drug stores and local home health stores for equipment purchases. My best advice on what to get has been from experienced professional caregivers, physical therapists and people on this thread who were knowledgeable about things I hadn’t experienced yet.
A simple shower chair with a back can be handy in the shower or also to sit st the sink for washing, brushing teeth. A SLIDING transfer bench can be essential when mobility is severely limited, into a tub or shower stall.
A 4 wheel walker with a seat is great , especially when needed to take a rest on a longer walk or excursion. But a 2 wheeled or 0 wheeled walker is easier to use for someone who might be confused about the brakes.
We had a local handyman construct a plywood ramp at a much reduced price over a ramp company.
The ramp company would have provided a better ramp, ADA compliant, hand rails and more but the plywood ramp met our needs and I am glad we did it the way we did.
Check with your local Lions Club, ours does a free rental of senior supplies
Costco has had those nice rolling walkers with the seats
THANK YOU all for the helpful suggestions.
She had grab bars in the tub/shower for a while, but then tore out the tub and had barrier-free shower installed, with yet more grab bars. Replaced old toilet with new comfort height model, and also installed a grab bar on wall, with vanity on other side of toilet. She also has a grab bar by the front door and it is essential.
I can definitely see the advantage of in-person fitting for the rollator or even an upgraded walker, so I will see if I can locate a surgical supply place. Fortunately, she has not been in rehab, but finding a professional is great advice! She is growing increasingly weak and frail, but has not fallen since January. (Going to put a plug in here for those monitored fall-alert necklaces. She no longer goes downstairs to the garage, but I shudder to think how long she would have been on the garage floor were it not for the system that phoned the fire/rescue.)
The very helpful PT who visits my mother in her home got back to me and suggested the transfer shower bench will be good because its larger size will make it more stable, and we will have it for future needs. It is not the sliding type, but instead a bench with a fixed arm on one side and open on the other.
She has the bed rail as suggested above. The PT recommended that a long while back, and it has been a huge help. I don’t think she would be able to lift herself up without it now.
THANKS again to all of you helpful people!
It depends on state and supplemental coverage with Medicare IMHO on things that get covered at home like drawing blood and other services - and maybe also some senior services paid by local or state tax dollars, or some nonprofits. FIL forgot about blood draw when his sons were at the house (they can get him in/out of house and car), so we arranged the services to come to him. His co-pay was under $30.
Article on NPR’s site “To Manage Dementia Well, Start With The Caregivers.”
I have gone to local thrift stores for supplies. I got a rollator for $12 and there are lots of shower chairs and other medical supplies. I do encourage buying used as most items are durable and we have and oversupply of such things sitting around and destined for the landfill.
@surfcity as to the emergency services, I have on my parent’s MOST to NOT bring to the ER unless it is for pain management so I refuse emergency treatment on their behalf since they lack cognitive ability. It can just as easily be I ask for emergency services as needed. Unfortunately, EMS may not know your dad lacks cognitive ability so the SNF should have a copy of your health care proxy (and a declaration of his incapacity by the doctor) and possibly something like a MOST (depending on the state, int might be a POLST or MOLST) in which you check to please transport to the ER. It’s a menu of items that is a guideline of what life-saving measures (fluids, antibiotics, respiratory support, CPR) should or should not be administered.
I think all patients who lack cognitive capacity or have cognitive capacity and wish not to have life saving measures, should have such a document. Also, work with your dad about goals of care. Is there a reason he refused emergency treatment? Does he have enough cognitive capacity to determine what is important to him and if he wants life extending treatments? Tough conversations. A website like The Conversation Project helps give guidelines for such conversations. Even those with some limitations of capacity can give insight into their wishes. I made my decisions based on conversations with my parents prior to, and in the early stages of dementia in which they had the capacity to do values clarification.
Sometimes elderly people’s health status changes very abruptly.
FIL/MIL were very resistant to having outside help come into their home, but they have accepted more and more of this help as they have realized and accepted how they need it. BIL is a pharmacist and lives the closest, so he manages some important elements. Another BIL visits pretty regularly and smooths over the emotional things (he lives 5 hours away). MIL at age 89 (FIL is also 89) has had enough mental status change in the last year to be rather mean to me (on our visits treats me like a servant or a slave) - I suspect she sees me doing all the things she wants to do and her brain function just has her not being very nice (her kitchen was her domicile and she can not physically do what she wants to do). FIL to me is the easiest to be around and help.
MIL can handle her own showers, but FIL needs the help. MIL use to be able to help him, but no more. Help does their laundry. They have meals on wheels M - F. They like the lady that is doing a lot of their personal care and grocery shopping.
Whenever they need hospitalization or extensive medical care, they get it near pharmacist’s home and recover at his place.
The two can function together at home, but neither can function alone.
When one passes, a big decision needs to be made. Or if one absolutely needs skilled care, then a big decision. No in-between, as they don’t have the resources and honestly could not manage in assisted living under most enforced guidelines.
Years ago, my H supervised two of our sons and a few of their friends in their scout troop in building and installing a ramp for a local family. H did the power tool cutting as the boys were all between 14 and 16 at the time but the boys assembled it and installed it. They took no money except for the actual supplies as the family could afford them but had nobody to do the work.
Then, last year, the same two sons and my H built a wooden ramp for my MIL’s house so her wheelchair could get in and out. It came out beautifully and the boys are really proud of their work. It cost about $200 for the supplies because we bought top quality outdoor wood. It has handrails on both sides and they even put in a lip on each side so that if the person pushing the chair loses control, the chair won’t go over the side.
To find someone to build and install a ramp, I would contact the local department of the aging. In my town, there is a special group that provides services to the elderly in terms of home repair and maintenance. I think it’s free but if you can afford it, a donation might be nice to defray the costs. You could also ask your elder’s neighbors if they know any local handymen that they have used (although asking them to get you three estimates and to book an appointment, ala that commercial, might be a bit much!).
I’m mostly a lurker on this thread, and I’m a little hesitant about sharing this, but my Mom, who will be 90 this week, also has hearing and memory loss. We have settled into a routine of 15 or so “conversations” that we pretty much just have over and over. For example, she was a Yankees’ fan when she could follow the games on TV, so now I just tell her whether they’ve won or lost, and then we talk about Derek Jeter’s last at bat when he had a game winning hit. She knows the story by heart, so she doesn’t have to hear much, and we both feel like we’re communicating.
At this point, we have a story for each part of the family, so I can tell her some news about a family member and then we tell that family story. They’re all funny stories, of course, so she’s smiling and that makes me feel okay about it. While it gets tedious, it’s easy and she can still contribute to the conversation.
Hope that doesn’t come across as demeaning; it works for us.
Love this scoutmom. Now that I think of it, we are doing the same thing!
ps My mother cannot remember her grandkids’ names but she is endlessly interested in my daughter’s young adult love life and remembers her boyfriend’s name!