compmom “under a quilt with no responsibilities at the moment, and have lots of moments like this” sounds glorious! Grass always seems greener I suppose
I have been doing those nightly duties at the AL and then drive home. Lately she has been wishing I would spend the night, and I will this weekend. It is a tradeoff: yes I can drive away, but it is difficult to do so, and I go right back.
I have been a caregiver for one of my kids with multiple illnesses for 25 years. I still monitor her overnight with some new technology that keeps her safe far away from me. So I should have said, for the next three hours, I had no responsibilities because I had to watch out for my daughter after that. I value those hours, consciously.
I still think it would be easier for me and better for her, to live with my mother but at the same time , as I said, I have the option to pull away. Getting ready to drive back the 20 miles in a few minutes. Still under my quilt!
If I did live with her, I would still have to carve out those moments and appreciate them. My kid has a serious traumatic brain injury and I did care 24/7 but I still had those “under the quilt” moments. Hard to do. No matter what our situation might be, we have to keep trying to take care of ourselves in whatever small ways we can. They add up.
I got myself some ice cream and got a good book out of the library too. Sounds silly but you understand.
Oh @DeniseC that looks like it might be a good choice. Amazon didn’t have as many choices as I thought they would.
@denisec, that table resembles those I’ve seen in hospitals and nursing homes. Is it fairly heavy and stable, in case the patient leans on it to assist in rising from being seated, for example, so it won’t tip over and tumble to the ground with the patient? It’s hard to tell how sturdy it is by just looking at a picture.
The tray looks like one that we had (probably still have upstairs somewhere) and it is very, very steady. But I don’t think it would be stable enough for assistance in rising. With a lot of pressure, the tray part could tilt, plus with just the one “leg” going up from the base, that might make it unstable.
I need to measure the furniture at their apartment to see if the legs and casters will fit under the sofa.
I would not rely on this or any similar tray for aid in getting up.
I am not endorsing the particular product I linked. But wanted to give an example of the style.
I’m sure most of us would not rely upon such a table to aid ourselves in getting up, but SOME people (like elders of infirm folks), MAY use it as an aid to getting up from sitting and could be injured if it toppled with them.
I’ve noticed in being around feeble people that they may grab whatever’s nearby without any deep analysis as to suitability or strength of what is being grabbed or the possibly of them falling with what they grab.
Public Service Announcement: Be cautious if leaving a glass syrup dispenser on the kitchen table. You might one day turn your back for a minute and return to find your elder pouring syrup in her glass and drinking it.
What about something like this? https://www.caregiverproducts.com/assist-tray.html
@psychmomma I’ve caught my dad making himself a glass of salad dressing and trying to drink from the soap dispenser.
^^ I had to chuckle at her drinking syrup. It’s one of Buddy the Elf’s four food groups, so who am I to judge? I am amazing though at the variety and vastness of things I can’t possibly anticipate.
At my parent’s care home, they think they have figured out how to “Phil proof” the house and then he comes up with something else to do like drinking the water in the flower vases.
Wow. Yeah, I don’t mean to make light of it, but as you know, if you can’t laugh sometimes, it is all just too much to handle.
The elder proofing is interesting in how it can be different and also the same. With young kids, many things they haven’t learned yet and they will experiment out of curiosity. With elders, they’re forgetting things they used to know.
I’m all about laughing our way to keeping us sane with demented elder care!
My Dad used to drink hot sauce. When I told him not to, he thought it was funny and would drink more.
I have a relative who enjoys drinking pickle juice. He must not be alone, since they make pickle juice popsicles & sodas.
@GTalum I, too, have a relative that “drinks” salad dressing though in small amounts and it baffles the rest of us
Really enjoyed these comments.
Speaking of drinking things, a fellow resident just called me to say my mother has been bringing a measuring cup to her door asking for gin.
Maybe I could get my mother to switch to salad dressing!
The salad dressing was not on purpose. It happened during a very confused time while at independent living. Mom had a medical event, I brought her to the ER. DH stayed with dad. During that time he was agitated and confused. DH watched him go the fridge and pour himself a glass of salad dressing, try to put underwear on his head, not recognizing socks…They were moved about 4 months later.