@GTalum, it is so difficult watching a loved one endure the dying process. Is there another hospice agency that would be more compatible and capable of following her and the family’s wishes? Would your mom drink some ensure and you can stop the meal trays if this would make her less anxious? At this point, hospice should do everything to keep her comfortable, including decreasing anxiety.
Need to vent again. We’re going to need to move my mom out of her AL and into a nursing home. When we moved her out of rehab and into this AL we had no idea how rapid her decline would be. We were happy how well she adjusted to the AL that she never wanted. In the three months she has been there she has gone downhill to the point where she has no mobility and no appetite. Today it seems she can hardly speak. The AL assured us that they could keep her and provide all the care and comfort that she needs with the assistance of hospice. They came up with a new care plan which they have not been adhering to at all. She needs more care than they’re capable of providing even though they have never been honest about that. She hates the thought of a nursing home. She also hates the thought of moving again. It’s time to make the move. I think she’s at the end of the road.
So sorry @ams5796! I hope the move as as seamless as possible for your mom…and you!
@ams5796 see what Hospice agencies are available and get a recommendation from someone who has used (maybe church/friends etc). Get their opinion on Mom’s situation - if she need to be moved or if with their additional care/oversight she will be good at AL.
Also your city/county may have a Seniors Ombudsman; maybe check with senior center for info on this.
@ams5796 Can she move to an inpatient hospice facility? Often they are staffed better than a nursing home. @ECmotherx2 we have already been in contact with another hospice. But, I think, with mom’s rebound, it is too soon. They have family style eating there and no meal trays. And, if she doesn’t eat at a meal, she is offered Ensure. Poor mom though, her dementia is progressing so she can hardly form words. Now there are charts showing exactly what she ate that day. It seems a waste of time and I’m not so sure of the point.
Thank you everyone. I appreciate the support and the information. The day ended better than it began and that’s all I can hope for right now. This week we’re hoping to get some answers and probably make a change. It’s such a daunting process. My brother and I keep joking that pretty soon we’ll be able to write a book “Eldercare for Dummies” since we are muddling through all of this information from all the various agencies. It’s hard to know who to believe, and who to trust unfortunately.
I haven’t been here in such a long time, although I do pop in to keep up every so often. @ams5796, I am so sorry you are going through this; my mother was in the memory care unit of an AL facility. They lied so badly during her stay there, and honestly the nurse would have let her die in her bed that last day if her part time caregiver hadn’t shown up early. When I demanded to talk to her, she rolled her eyes as she took the phone; she didn’t know that my step-daughter was on staff there. She got fired when I got through reporting her. I didn’t leave “scorched earth” behind because I love my step-daughter and she does the best she can to see to the residents there.
If you look at hospice care, see if there is an inpatient facility locally. My mother was under hospice care in the hospital and I wasn’t overwhelmed with the attention she got (or didn’t get).
Does anyone have a recommendation for a walker? Some have wheels and some don’t. My dad says he just needs it on the carpeted floor, but he does have some tile floor, too. He rarely uses his walking stick.
Does he need to sit on it and rest after a period of walking? if yes, perhaps a 4 wheeled walker with a seat and brakes.
If it is only within the house, perhaps a 2 wheeled walker , or a 0 wheeled walker.
My mom couldn’t reliably set the brakes, so a two wheeled walker for in the house is what we settled on.
One factor on a walker is whether they will need to lift it in and out of a car. The seated ones are heavier and many seniors can’t manage those if they still drive themselves.
There are some super nice walkers out there. I would look around a lot and see what works best for now and the future.
Very good points about walkers. We actually have accumulated three. A two wheeled walker that is lightweight and folds flat. A four wheeled walker with a seat that is more awkward and heavier to get into a car or down stairs. And something called a duet that is designed to also be used as a transport wheelchair. It came in very handy when walking wasn’t possible but is quite heavy.
Our goodwill store often has basic walkers. I almost got one there, but my mom needed a 4 wheel with a seat and brakes.
My mom was using two before she ended up in a wheelchair. She had a very lightweight walker that folded up that we took out to events, appointments, and restaurants. She had a heavier four wheeled one for her home that was nice and sturdy.
If your senior is seeing or has access to a PT, they often have expertise in determining what options are best and how to fit any adaptive gear. As a bonus, they can help seniors learn to use them appropriately by optimizing position, etc.
Just FYI, following first hip surgery and then a general decline, my mom was on separate occasions sent home from the hospital with a walker and a wheelchair paid for by medicare. My dad was managing her care at that point so I don’t know the details of how she qualified. It is also possible he was mistaken and didn’t realize he paid for them. But he said they didn’t. The walker was the very basic two wheeled variety to which most people add tennis balls. But the wheelchair was a quite nice relatively lightweight folding variety that was relatively easy to get in the car. It was a wheelchair, not a transport chair, and after she died I gave it to Silver Key, and local non profit that supports seniors. Of course now, seven years later, it would be super handy to have for my dad, and I really regret giving it up. He uses a walker now but a wheelchair would be super handy for excursions. I keep an eye on various online selling sites for another but they seem to go in matter of hours.
Also a lot of home health care equipment (shower chairs, bedside commodes, etc. etc.) is substantially cheaper on Amazon than in the stores (and if you have prime the shipping is free, even for bulky things). The problem of course is that when you first need them it’s often a near-emergency and you can’t wait two days. But if you can plan ahead that’s a good way to go.
My friends found a nice wheelchair left at the curb one day. It was perfect for their dad/FIL and a timely find. It is definitely hit and miss. The one they found looked brand new!
I second getting a referral to PT to determine what kind of walker to get. The PT will get the height right & train them in how to use it.
Medicare will pay for a wheelchair. We still have the one my mom had and use it when we take the ILs to the dr. If either needs one permanently, we’ll work with PT to get one fitted to them. We learned it’s not one size fits all.
https://www.medicare.gov/pubs/pdf/11046-Medicare-Wheelchair-Scooter.pdf Here are the specifics of Medicare paying for wheelchairs and scooters.