^ My son was across the country, too. I was nervously checking my phone for the first day or two, but finally relaxed. I hope you can have an enjoyable trip without any complications.
Has anyone had experience with Visiting Angels?
Visiting Angels is a franchise so your best bet is to talk to people who have used the actual agency in your location. We didn’t have the best luck with their franchise in OH. Zero continuity with staff which was crucial for my mom. Again though, they are a franchise so I wouldn’t make any assumptions about the agency in your area.
Wow. That really hurts. Hate to hear a sibling has opted out of caring enough to understand and be helpful.
Thinking of @GTalum this week, and @surfcity as both of you navigate the changes ahead.
I wanted to let everyone know that mom died last night/early this AM. She died peacefully in her bed. Unfortunately, since dad shares her bed, I was not able to be there, but I spent most of my day yesterday and the day before at her side. One of the aides stayed beside her when she died. Dad is not aware she died and most of the time was not aware of her existence. Removing the body this morning in a way others didn’t notice was a bit stressful.
@GTalum I am so sorry for your loss
I am so sorry @GTalum. I know it’s been a very long and stressful journey for you. Thinking of you as you navigate the days ahead. I can absolutely understand the difficulty you will face with your dad - hope it goes as well as can be expected. Hugs.
@GTalum, so sorry for your loss. Hoping for smooth sailing for you ahead.
@GTalum my sympathies. I am so sorry
@GTalum I"m so very sorry for your loss. Peace and love to you and your family.
@GTalum — so sorry for your loss. May your mom’s memory be a blessing.
Hey folks. I haven’t been in this thread for a while, but here I am, glad to see you’re discussing hospice because that’s what I have questions about.
Our story to date: Mom has moderate Alzheimers, and also has had a series of strokes that result in her being unable to walk or even get out of her bed without help. She also has garbled and halting speech. She had a bad spell last week, so much so that I was on a plane within three hours of my sisters’ phone calls. My sisters are level-headed, not alarmists. When they say it might be time for me to fly cross-country to see Mom, I come.
By the time I arrived, she had rallied. When I visited next morning, she was in good spirits and apparently feeling well. Her kind of partial aphasia doesn’t affect automatic speech, so we were happily singing along with a tape of old songs her caregiver had brought. We brought her a dish of ice cream. She gobbled it up and looked around hopefully for more.
But Mom is declining and we all know it. She had had some recent hospital admissions. We decided to put her in hospice care.
After a great week in which I visited with Mom & sibs, I felt Mom was stable and I’d head home. On the way to the airport, my sister and I stopped off to say goodbye to Mom, and discovered that she was delusional. She wanted us to bring the cat inside, because there it was just outside, in the snow, looking unhappy. (There was no cat.)
The hospice nurse came, said she probably had a UTI, and ordered an antibiotic. Then Mom had a seizure.
My brothers and sisters decided to revoke the two-day-old hospice and send her to the hospital for tests. (I was in the air at the time, but I think I’d probably have agreed. We didn’t know what was wrong, why she was having a seizure, and whether the diagnosis could lead to some kind of treatment that would allow her to stay at home where we want her.)
The doctor at the hospital asked for permission to put her on an external pacemaker. We refused.
So, my questions:
Does anyone have experience with people with Alzheimers having seizures? Dr. Google says 10-20% of Alzheimers patients have seizures.
Does anyone have experience with an external pacemaker? Dr. Google says they hurt.
@GTalum, so sorry about your mom. May her memory be a blessing.
Condolences, @GTalum. Hope you remember to take care of yourself while you continue to care for your father.
@“Cardinal Fang” - Things to think about and speak with your siblings: If the family was already thinking hospice, what has changed to even consider a pacemaker? What is your mom’s quality of life like? Would prolonging her life with a pacemaker be something she would want if she was able to make the decision for herself?
My mom has advanced Alzheimer’s. She has had a couple of seizures over the years but not frequently, and the neurologist said medication wasn’t warranted. She hasn’t had a seizure in well over two years now so I wouldn’t necessarily worry that one seizure will necessarily mean there will be more.
Good luck to you!
@GTalum I am so sorry for your loss and what you’re going through with your dad. So many emotions, I’m sure. I hope you can have some peaceful day ahead. You’re going through a lot.
Sending condolences, @GTalum. You were there throughout her journey. May memories be a comfort. Poignant to tend your father’s circumstances simultaneously. Wishing you peace.
@GTalum, so sorry for your loss. You’ve been through alot with your parents, so try to take care of yourself.
@momofsenior1, we (they) had Mom go to the hospital to see what was going on with the seizure. Now she’s kind of asleep/kind of unconscious, and may or may not wake up. At this point, my sibs have decided she should stay in the hospital, because they don’t want to send her home without an IV just to die, when she might wake up and be at the same baseline she was at when I was visiting two days ago. Nothing about this is easy. We might make a different decision in a few hours when we get more info.
@GTalum Sending my condolences.
I tend to lurk here, often thinking of adding my own story. But putting it into writing is exhausting.