Parents caring for the parent support thread (Part 1)

@VaBluebird – sending you comforting thoughts at this time. Your mom certainly led a long and hopefully mostly happy life. It’s great that the hospice social worker was with her during her transition to the next world.

Prayers of comfort to you and your family @VaBluebird. I hope warm memories will envelope you.

@VaBluebird what a lovely note you and your mother struck to mark her passage. Wishing you comfort.

My condolences, @VaBluebird. Glad that her passing was peaceful, and that the hospice nurse could be with her.

@VaBluebird- sorry for your loss; may memories be of comfort.

Assisted living just texted NO Visitors at all due to COVID-19 (which is not in our county but other counties in our state). Of course that is reasonable and safe but wondering about the colostomy chores I do. They are not allowed to do the wafer change. Hmmmm.

All the best, @compmom. I hope there is a good plan in place for your mother; it will be interesting to see what the AL proposes.

@compmom, my mom’s CCRC has eliminated all non-essential family visits. Since my siblings and I provide care for my mom when we are there, we have been cleared as “essential.” At least for now.

Surely some of the other residents at your mom’s facility have aides that visit. Make sure they know that you are an “aide.” Good luck, this situation is putting stress on all of us.

My aunt said the hospital increased their screening of visitors today but so far hospice isn’t limiting visitors. Frankly that would be horrible.

My mom’s CCRC is limiting to family only and doing temp checks at this time. Family is pretty broad.

A friend whose mom is in family care home has asked for NO visitors and her mom not to leave the care home at all. The friend is a lung md.

The facility a neighbor is at said that Hospice is not limiting visitors. Other areas are though

@VaBluebird condolences, and I am glad you could realize the Thank God means that you love you mother.

@compmom not only does/should the al place recognize you as an aide, but you should also be getting paid via Medicare for it.

My aunt woke up with a terrible cough. Hospital instituted more screening yesterday. She will not be allowed to see my mom today. My mom is in a coma so not aware (and not responding to anything) but emotionally it’s hard for me to think of her with no one at her bedside. I hope my dad will stay with her for a while.

The AL had a meeting and still don’t have an answer for me. The nursing director wrote me that they need to be consistent with family and visitors but at the same time ensure the best care for residents, so no easy answer. They will get back to me today.

I wrote that the colostomy wafer needs to be changed ASAP or skin problems will result. I offered to at least come in today. Showered, clean clothes, will sanitize car, sanitize hands before coming in or wear nitrile gloves, wear mask, not use the elevator, wipe door handles etc. etc.

I also said that if I can do it today, that at least gives 3 days to figure something out.

I understand their dilemma but making this decision with no warning creates problems.

The stoma care is complicated by a hernia. I have a complicated routine that has evolved over months, since I cannot cut a hole to accommodate the varying sizes of the stoma. I basically leave space around different points of the stoma, rotating so to speak, to give each area a rest. I can direct by phone but nurses may not take kindly to it! I may have to let it go. But I will tell the AL my concerns in writing.

Communications are friendly and collaborative at this point and hope that doesn’t change.

My mother is confused and scared and has called me 4 times in an hour and a half. I expect constant calls!

They just emailed and told me I am now an “essential caregiver.” I will be allowed in from 3-3:30 today and screened then escorted in and out. I assume this will be every three days. I ordered more pouches so there are extras in case I do get sick and someone needs to learn how to do it.

My MILs AL is exceeding the guidelines set by the state (WA) which limit visitors to 1 per day, other than end of life - to no outside visitors. My H was able to take her to her eye appt yesterday for her macular degeneration injection, but had to be screened to be able to do so. He took her lunch since she’d missed breakfast and lunch there and has been squirrelly about going down for all of her meals.
This is one time when her lack of social interaction is a good thing.
Technically she’s on hospice, but in reality not at her end of life, so no joy there for her.

I am thinking of all of you going through the waiting and mourning.

My husband’s company just banned all travel, even domestic travel for the next 30 days. Sounds like they are asking people to reconsider personal travel as well. We’re scheduled to go back to FL on Sunday. My mom is expected to pass in the next 24 hours (major changes to her breathing over night) so we were thinking the funeral would be next week. Now we’re considering postponing. I don’t know what to do. My brother is reluctant to put his children on a plane. Don’t know if my father would be OK with that. The ripple effects of this virus are staggering.

My dad is in Memory Care within an AL/SL facility. They are limiting visitors to 3 people and they don’t want you to take anyone out except doctor’s appointments. At this point my area is not a high risk area. I went today (it is my dad’s birthday). They asked me if I had traveled in the last 2 weeks and pointed out the hand sanitizer and sinks.

Rethinking whether it’s wise to move my mom to a facility now. The company who’s helping her move doesn’t have any availability right away, so I guess we’ll wait and see.

My parents AL and MC has closed to all visitors. I think it’s smart and hopefully my parents are not aware enough of time so they won’t know I am not visiting.