Dad has gotten a little critical, taking jabs at my sister and me for little things. I KNOW not to take it personally, but it’s tough since we’ve turned our lives upside down for him for the last 11 months. Our professional lives have even suffered. Well, I guess it’s payback for how we acted as teenagers.
@MaineLonghorn. Funny last comment. Yep.
Payback. Just remember to breathe when he starts up
… From an outsiders views you are a great daughter and doing the right things to take care of him. Many would not go to your extremes even close family. Try to smile when he says stuff then go out of the room to scream… ?
^Thanks, @Knowsstuff. An ex-student is coming over in a few minutes to show him a computer model of a building his firm is constructing, so at least I know Dad will be polite during the visit!
My sister and I requested a chest X ray to see if Dad’s lungs are doing better. Hospice won’t pay for it because it’s not medically necessary. Really? We have been given so many different stories the last four months, we don’t have a right to know what’s going on? Is Dad on the verge of dying or have his lungs improved somehow? We convinced Dad to pay for it OOP. The X ray will be done at the house this afternoon so we don’t have to take him out.
I really need an attitude adjustment. I am so grumpy.
What does his DNR say…? Sometimes that can affect getting the testing. We just went through that with our neighbor who is in a nursing home or long term for rehab. But we are actually listed as family since his son can’t manage to drive 2.5 hours to manage him. We have been friends for 30 years and my wife did his wife’s eulogy… So we’re close. We actually had his DNR changed (with his sons consent since he’s power of attorney) since he didn’t understand what he originally signed. He’s 90…but coherent. Just didn’t understand the complete lingo.
I get to go visit him today, since I am family ?, but will be careful not to touch anything but my allergies (yes just allergies) are starting up and I am sneezing a bit. If it doesn’t stop I won’t go. I sneezed once at Target and thought someone was going to shoot me. I actually said to people looking “I have allergies, just allergies” ?
@MaineLonghorn Hospice Medicare is different from regular Medicare and won’t pay for diagnostic tests that are part of a continuing medical care situation. In our area, you can go off hospice, get the x-ray, then go back on.
Hospice should have explained this to you better. Perhaps you can get it covered based on that-?
@compmom. That’s really great information. Thx. My mom’s 90.5 and doing well now but just reading and learning from everyone’s experiences here. This thread has been more helpful for people like me in the batters box, per se, then you can imagine. My heart and love goes out to all that are taking care of loved ones or those that have had a recent loss.
My mom peacefully passed away this afternoon. It’s a blessing but still so very hard.
We are delaying funeral services. Her peer group is all elderly and the rest of us need to fly and no one wants to get on a plane.
Thank you again for all the support.
Hugs to you @momofsenior1 - I’ve been following your journey and want to express my sympathies. May your wonderful memories of your mom sustain you during this time. You were there for her and she knew it. 
@momofsenior1 wishing you peace…
@momofsenior1 hugs and best wishes to you.
@momofsenior1. Maybe her memory be a blessing.
@momofsenior1, I’m so sorry. May your memories be a comfort and a blessing.
@momofsenior1 , my deep condolences. Even when you’re ready, it’s hard to lose a parent. I’m so sorry. Sending thoughts of peace and comfort.
@momofsenior1 , virtual hugs are at least germ free and very warmly sent.
We delayed our moms celebration of life for better weather and grandchildren’s ease of time off. It was still meaningful and helpful. If your circumstances don’t require the funeral to be immediate then rest assured it is fine to wait
Thank you all. I know more and more people delay funerals even under ordinary circumstances. I think the hardest part is being away from the rest of the family. Looking forward to at least having my daughter home tomorrow.
I’m so sorry, @momofsenior1.
I’m sorry for your loss @momofsenior1 . May you find comfort in knowing her love.
@momofsenior1 my deepest condolences.
So sorry for your loss, @momofsenior1. Losing a parent, even when expected, isn’t easy. You will be in my thoughts.
On top of everything being so hard because of my dad’s uncertain prognosis, now the virus precautions are making things even more complicated. We wanted to start transitioning my mom to her new home. We planned to eat there last night, but when I called yesterday they strongly recommended we not come. They are having to screen everyone at this point. It made me realize that it’s not a good idea for Mom to be there at all for awhile. 
My dad’s time in hospice has been so hard on her - with her cognitive impairment the limbo is just horrible. She really does behave more like a child now.
Last night, my sister and I told my parents that we don’t think either one of them should attend church tomorrow. Their church is VERY strict about Sunday attendance so I knew I wouldn’t get a great reaction from Dad. Sure enough, he said, “Well, we have a day to think about it…” Uh, no. If I have to hide the car keys so the caregiver can’t take them, I will. I’m annoyed that the church isn’t canceling services. Attendance runs only around 50 people, so I guess they think the size doesn’t warrant cancellation. Ack.
I decided to cancel the NAMI class I teach on Tuesday nights, after NAMI Maine canceled the Board of Directors retreat I was supposed to attend in a couple of weeks. I thought, “Hmm, that’s around 15 people, fewer than my class size…” So it’s disappointing, but it does mean I can delay my departure from Austin from Monday to Thursday. It was Dad who asked me to stay longer, so I felt I couldn’t refuse. My sweet husband said of course I should stay. This has been rough on him, holding down the fort at home and in our business.