@momofsenior1 so sorry about your loss, and at a time like this with all the craziness.
@MaineLonghorn many senior living situations are banning visitors altogether. So sorry you are dealing with personal uncertainties and difficult transitions on top of what is going on with the virus.
My mother only called 9 times yesterday. She is very confused about what is going on, and used to me being there daily. Who is going to take the plastic cups of oj out of the shelf on the refrigerator door so they don’t spill every time she opens it?
I am realizing I have a sort of checklist in my mind for each visit, from trivial to important. As in throw out muffin sitting on counter for 5 hours, clean counter, throw out cups of oj, do dishes, replace sponge if needed (yuck), throw out food she has brought up from dining room two weeks ago double yuck), check hearing aid and push all the way in, check hearing aid battery, make sure she isn’t writing any checks (dummy check book), get piles of books off floor, check colostomy, check laundry in bag and do laundry, check towels, make sure wipes for pouch changes are replenished in container, put cream on legs, check for cuts, etc. etc. etc.
Maybe I’ll find that the assisted living will do more without me there. Doubt it but thinking positive. I’ll see her tomorrow for 15 minutes while they escort me in and out and watch me change the colostomy.
How many of you are not seeing your parent or loved one at all? How is it going?
The funeral home said they are already seeing delays in getting sign off from the medical examiner. They also have a virus protocol in place and no family members are allowed inside to pick up the urns. They have staff coming out and putting the urns directly into the cars to minimize contact. Sounds like they have cancelled viewings and such.
Local friends don’t have a choice because the catholic churches have suspended masses. FL hasn’t made that call yet but I’m sure it’s coming.
My mom’s CCRC closed to visitors yesterday. She can go out, but the only place she feels comfortable driving is the hairdresser (literally around the corner) for her standing weekly appointment. Since I’m 1200 miles away, it doesn’t currently change my routine of calling daily, but for my sister who is local to my mom it is stressful. My mom is 81, on oxygen and recovering slowly from a bout of pneumonia so we assume she is at risk for COVID-19. Had a visit planned for May but concerned that may not happen. Trying to take things a day at a time and think of some things I can send as little care packages.
My dad is not in assisted living so I can visit freely, but he lives a nine hour drive away so visits are not frequent. And now I will be driving and not flying. I was planning on going monthly after my mom died. He is doing okay. Always an obsessive hand washer and cart cleaner, he is ready for this crisis. He and his friends in the apartment building are eating in together. I did have to tell him that even if he is not freaking out, others are and so everything will be crowded and lines will be long. I urged him not to go out this weekend if he can help it. He is bemoaning the loss of live sporting events on TV.
Mom’s CCRC still allows family only visitors and does temp checks on everyone. We continue to take turns and between the 7 of us keep her company 24/7. We take turns sleeping over and during the day, she is with me or one of my sibs.
My D doesn’t like us leaving the house and being in crowds (covid-19 danger), so mostly when I watch her, she’s at my house or we go on short walks around our neighborhood and rarely encounter anyone.
@momofsenior1 , condolences to you and your family. I’m sorry this comes at a time when the virus contagion makes gathering to mourn so much more difficult.
Yes I think it’s a great loss for older people that sporting events have been canceled. My dad has very little he can occupy himself with while in hospice and he was really looking forward to March Madness.
The AL and SNF at my mom’s CCRC have gone on lockdown. Independent Living residents can still come and go, but everyone gets checked coming in for fever, and they are trying to limit visitors.
They say that if anyone at the facility tests positive the whole place goes on total lockdown, no one in, no one out.
Does that mean that aides that come by once a day can’t leave? Does that mean that family visiting at the time can’t leave? Does it mean that a resident out buying groceries can’t return? The administrator answered all these questions with “no one in, no one out.” Hmmmmm.
So sorry @momofsenior1 for your loss. I’m sure the delays making funeral arrangements adds to the stress and prevention of any beginning of closure.And deep virtual hugs to everyone else taking care of their parents. My 99 year old mom lives with us and has a live in caregiver six days a week. We canceled an out of town wedding this week, mostly because of concern we could bring something back home. But that seems a small sacrifice when I see what everyone else is going through.
@momofsenior1 So sorry about your loss. Going through this at a time of uncertainty is tough. Hugs to you.
We have Dad at home with caregivers. Only one case of the virus in our county has been confirmed so far. If the caregivers get sick, we will have to step in. Dad is on hospice, and the nurse is still coming twice per week. Trying to stay healthy.
Maybe, among various families, the facility can find tapes of older sporting events., play them on the house tv.
Yes, in some cases, the psychological burden on seniors from barring visitors seems difficult to justify. If you have one at a time, he may not be infected. But what says the next individual visitor isn’t presenting a risk? I’m sorry for your relatives who have to endure.
Are they keeping residents out of the dining rooms, too?
And the financial damage to small or independent businesses is going to be awful.
Our local cable is replaying Caps, Nats and Orioles games, do it might be worth suggestion to an elder if other cable companies are doing likewise to fill air time.
I’m going through serious sports withdrawal, too. It was part of my self-care plan!
I take care of my mom in our home and the social isolation is already getting depressing. My senior S didn’t come home for spring break - possibly good as it reduces my mom’s exposure to outside elements, but I’m rather crushed. My sister and her husband usually come to visit every week or two, and now we haven’t seen them for several weeks, and won’t for the foreseeable future.
My sister has an underlying illness and hasn’t left her house in weeks either.
She is terrified of getting this illness, especially since there is no guarantee hospitals will be able to accommodate the number of people needing beds - and that she would be looked upon as an acceptable/expected casualty.
My mom has been declining in recent months, so I’m also worried about her in general. I finalized her funeral plans this week, so when the time comes, I won’t have to make that whole mess of decisions. I pre-planned and pre-paid, and feel a great sense of relief. I’ve been trying to help mom keep what abilities she still has, but when you’re dealing with dementia/Alzheimer’s, you realize pretty quick how much is out of your control.
Our hospice nurse is having a big meeting on Tuesday with her group. I wonder what changes they will make to services. I had not considered that the visits might decrease. Deep breaths, everybody.
I called hospice this morning. My dad has more fluid in his belly and legs, plus we didn’t get the chest X ray results that we were told we would get late Friday afternoon. They said they will send out a nurse today. Dad didn’t look as good yesterday as the previous days.
Virtual hugs to everyone who is dealing with managing elders on top of the stress and anxiety of the COVID19 situation. I cannot visit my parents, so I am trying to compartmentalize their care in my head and just assume that they are getting the usual high quality care they receive under normal circumstances. I really would have no way of knowing otherwise.
They called me three times yesterday, mom said they went out to the movies and dad also talked about going somewhere, so at least in their minds they are not confined!
@psychmomma sounds like a tough situation. Best wishes while you cope. @MaineLonghorn can’t imagine hospice coming every two weeks!
I got approval, or thought I did, for my friend Jackie, who does elder care, to go in to do my mother’s colostomy appliance change at the AL if I were sick. Today I woke up with sniffles and called ahead to say Jackie might come in, or could I come in with her to train her but her presence would mean I could stand back from my mom.
Answer was no. They need approval “from above.” They went through some sort of process to get me approved as an “essential caregiver.” So I cancelled Jackie and went in with gloves and mask if needed, didn’t touch door handles, etc. I was screened with temp check and escorted in and out.
While there I got a text message asking families to avoid taking loved ones to public places. I called my other daughter friends with parents in the same AL and none of us knew we could take our moms out at all!! So now I am going to take a walk with my mother or at least visit her on the bench.
I am so busy doing things for her half the time that I didn’t even realize how much I would miss her She’s fine though. Amazing. Energizer bunny. Enjoying walks and trying not to worry about what is going to happen in the next few weeks.
She’s fine though. Amazing. Energizer bunny. Enjoying walks and trying not to worry about what is going to happen in the next few weeks.