<p>^^^Who has claimed to know anything about other anonymous CC posters?</p>
<p>The puritanism expressed in some of these posts can actually result in alcoholism. Honest, I was once an alcohol educator, in the days before “just say no.” Kids lecturing their parents about half a glass of wine, or even crying about wine at a holiday, was one consequence of DARE and the “just say no” culture.</p>
<p>Alcohol has been used since ancient times, and probably before that, for celebration, ritual and connection. Overuse and abuse comes when people don’t respect it or use it properly.</p>
<p>All 3 of my kids have had years when they drink, and have had their own journeys with it. Two of my kids have health issues now and are on meds, which don’t mix with alcohol well. They still hang out with friends and relax, and help out those who need help. I don’t hear any judgments from them. They seem to have a sense of humor about human nature. My oldest sat on a couch and read the NY Times while her friends played beer pong. Like I said, no big deal. She’ll hang out with people when they are not drinking, too.</p>
<p>My family has alcoholism also. It can be a self-fulfilling prophecy to go overboard with the genetic fears in a family. Guilt at drinking at all, often turns into alcoholism once the person does start. There are studies to this effect.</p>
<p>My kids are not afraid to tell me what they are doing. Therefore, I can offer them more guidance and keep them truly safe. Moderation is a good path.</p>
<p>Once kids turn 21, drinking becomes more civilized I think. They can go to bars and clubs after work or class, with friends. I agree with many college presidents that the drinking age should go back down to 18, and the bingeing would improve.</p>
<p>I totally understand why the poster posted this. I have wondered the same thing.</p>
<p>Compmom,
You wrote, “My kids are not afraid to tell me what they are doing. Therefore, I can offer them more guidance and keep them truly safe. Moderation is a good path.”</p>
<p>Your kids tell you that they drink, and you believe them. Our kids say that they are not, so they are lying??</p>
<p>I have three kids and they are all ranges of the drinking scene: total abstinence, total binges, and a social drinker. Not related to birth order.</p>
<p>They tell me and I believe them:). Why would they lie to me? I never told them not to drink nor party so there is no reason for them to lie.</p>
<p>“Once kids turn 21, drinking becomes more civilized I think”</p>
<p>The data show that binge and heavy drinking peak at age 24.</p>
<p>compmom, maybe I missed it, but I haven’t seen any posts here that express puritanism or total objection to alcohol use. The question was, ‘how many of you are sure your students don’t party?’, so obviously the responses will be biased toward those of us who have kids who don’t do a lot of heavy partying.</p>
<p>Or do you really believe that there is no such thing as a college age young adult who doesn’t party?</p>
<p>BTW, what is an ‘alcohol educator’? I grew up–literally–at a bar. Worked there from a young age, lived upstairs, entered and exited the living quarters through the bar. I’m pretty educated about alcohol.</p>
<p>Parents were asked a question, a legitimate one. The poster deserves honest answers, not the answers you would like to see, for reasons I could speculate about, but won’t.</p>
<p>Over, and out.</p>
<p>These threads always, always, go the same way.</p>
<p>we didn’t.
So we purchased legal insurance, umbrella policy, and placed insurance on the kid.</p>
<p>Miniscule expenses when compared to undesirable outcomes or to college costs.</p>
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<p>Yes, this was my kid after their “just say no” lectures in classes. It was actually a good starting point for us to have a discussion about responsible alcohol use (which I model). “Have you ever seen me drunk or have any problems because of alcohol? No? Well then, it is possible to use alcohol in a reasonable way, isn’t it?” etc.</p>
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<p>ditto.</p>
<p>^^^I couldn’t stand the DARE program, and was glad to see it go. </p>
<p>Not a prude, not ignorant, not naive, and not a puritan. I am observant, and I do know my kids.</p>
<p>///I grew up–literally–at a bar. Worked there from a young age, lived upstairs, entered and exited the living quarters through the bar. I’m pretty educated about alcohol.///</p>
<p>lol. I would not think that counts as education</p>
<p>My kids (both now well over 21 thank God) do enjoy drinking. I know there was high school drinking going on (with one more than the other) and I know how rampant this was in our community and at the schools my one child attended. I wasn’t thrilled about it, but it was a fact. College- of course I knew my kids drank. They do like the taste of alcohol.<br>
When my son moved into the dorm at the Ivy he attended, ALL the students on his hall had fake IDs. That was just the way it was. Lots of parties. Both my kids were strong students in college and one started as a varsity athlete in an endurance sport. There was still a lot of drinking.</p>
<p>To the OP- this forum is not representative. Rest assured.</p>
<p>White male students on non-religious residential college campuses who drink “moderately” are actually quite a rarity, a very distinct minority. The vast majority either binge, or are total abstainers.</p>
<p>muddybubbles: perhaps you have a rather limited definition of ‘education’.</p>
<p>///muddybubbles: perhaps you have a rather limited definition of ‘education’///</p>
<p>lol. perhaps</p>
<p>I think that this is a pretty good question. I haven’t read all of the responses, but I read the first few. I’m still in high school and I’ll be going to college next year, and there is a definite group of kids who do drink, and a lot of them drink every weekend. It seems like about half of those parents indulge the kids by buying them alcohol and the other half are completely oblivious (or choose to be).</p>
<p>One of my best friends goes to U of I and I’ve visited him and stayed at his dorm a few times. He definitely drinks. I’ve witnessed it. He doesn’t get out of control, wetting the bed, every other night like his roommate, but he definitely enjoys getting drunk on the weekends. His mother is my mother’s best friend and my mom hears both sides of the story… His mother thinks that he hasn’t drank a single drop while he’s been away, and actually scolded me and a couple of my friends for apparently “letting him drink” while we were visiting. </p>
<p>A lot of parents don’t always know what their kids do. It’s not easy to admit that kids drink, but it happens. I mean, I also hate the taste of alcohol and probably do a lot LESS than what my parents think I do.</p>
<p>Just wanted to say that I liked the original question and appreciate all the parent responses! And I was thisclose to going to Madison next year. Teach me how to Bucky.</p>
<p>To address the kids who lecture scenario:</p>
<p>The child of friends of mine wrote her admission essay on trying to get her parents to stop smoking pot. My friends are both professionals. I don’t get people in their 40’s or 50’s smoking but as long as they don’t do it in my house, it’s fine. The child got into an Ivy.</p>
<p>My H and I have taught our kids about drinking responsibly because, as I said in my earlier post, H has alcohol issues in his FOO. I will occasionally ask H to mix me a drink after dinner or will have a glass of wine when we go out. Neither of us drinks and drives, so if one of us has a cocktail while out, the other abstains and drives home.</p>
<p>We use grape juice on Passover because the kids can’t stand the wine.</p>
<p>My daughter told me in HS that she was never going to drink. Now in college, well let’s just say it’s a womans perogative to change her mind. I agree that CC is not representative of the general college drinking culture.</p>
<p>Social statistics tend to give hope in that they’re not all that often reliable indicators of behavior. Rest assured, as a fraternity brother myself, there are even frat guys who don’t drink or do drugs.</p>
<p>That said, it is my unfortunate experience that many parents do not know their children’s behavior once they’ve been out of the house for a little while. Moms and Dads are so excited to hear from their kids that they’ll often buy whatever story it is that they tell them. </p>
<p>So, don’t let your kids off the hook so easy. Dig deeper, it’s your right as a parent. “What are you doing tonight? Who are these people,” and my favorite, “call me when you get in tonight and then call me later when you actually get home.”</p>
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<p>The research is not complete (research is never complete), but if you want an introduction to the issue of alcohol dehydrogenases and their possible role in alcoholism, do a quick google search. (Sorry, I had a few links, but incompetently lost them, probably because I had a glass of wine this evening while diddling around on cc.)</p>
<p>Genetics may, and probably do, play a role in the metabolism of alcohol, accounting for variation in how much alcohol one can consume at any given body weight or age, the extent and types of deleterious effects of either sporadic or habitual alcohol consumption, and the likelihood of developing alcoholism (which has a lot of different definitions).</p>
<p>“Going overboard” with warnings will depend on the particular family, as well as on the personality of the young person receiving the lecture. Some kids are more naturally rebellious than others.</p>