Parents, i need your help!

Parents Forum
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<p>i will be highly obliged if u do comment on my essay. this is a rough draft, critique away!</p>

<p>Describe a setback or ethical dilemma that you have faced. How did you resolve it? How did the outcome affect you? If something similar happened in the future, how would you react?</p>

<p>"Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes." My dad read this Johann Wolfgang von Goethe quote to me as I was getting ready for my first day of school in America, trying to preach that I must adapt to what he called an alien environment. I couldn’t have cared less what Johann Wolfgang von Goethe had to say about changes in life, I thought I knew how to handle this situation perfectly well. My heart kept telling me: School here couldn't be that different from school in India; after all, it IS a school. What added to my borderline arrogance about being fine was the fact that I was schooled in English for ten years prior to coming to US, and I thought it made up for the adaptation phase that most US immigrants go though.
And so, I went through the earlier stage of my US high school career with a subliminal disregard for the need to adapt to this completely new educational system. I was stuck in a phase many call "mental inertia" unwillingness to change yourself for the better when change occurs. From my school days of India, my mind had formed a schema of how education should be and how things should be done, and this is the only schema that my mind accepted. My mind accepted that I must memorize the whole text-book to do well in school and that I must regurgitate prepared answers word-for-word to receive a good grade in tests. Multiple-choice questions and thinking on my feet during tests did not fit my schema of education. I had never bubbled anything, let alone for a test grade.
Obviously, it didn't ake me long to realize that I wasnt quite right about the whole after all, it IS a school thing as almost every aspect of education in US is different from India but as my mental inertia was still running strong, memorizing was the way to go for me. And so I did I memorized everything that my teachers gave me handouts, notes, books everything! Hypothetically, I was completely stressed out during that phase of my life. I was slipping from mental inertia to mental depression. Just as all looked lost, God took the initiative and smacked me on my face, as I received my first ever on my quarterly report-card. I got the message my Indian style of studying was officially proven ineffective for the US educational system. My mind dumped the mental inertia that was haunting me for 6 months, and realized the need for adaptation. I reshaped my ten-year-old schema in 6 months. I started learning instead of memorizing, and with that adaptation, my report-cards figured the familiar a again. I understood what Johann Wolfgang von Goethe wanted to say I must evolve with evolution.
Even now, as I get ready to attend college, my naee heart keeps telling me: college couldnt be that different from high school; after all, it IS still a school. It just has a prefix undergraduate attached to it. ut I wont let my heart pull another one of those on me. My dad, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, and my brain (which is now trained to resist mental inertia they know better on this issue of change. This time, I will be ready ready and willing to adapt to the alien environment of college, as I have learned too much from this experience to be oblivious or resistant to change anymore.</p>

<p>what do u think about the overall content? does it answer the question? too boring? anything is appreciated!</p>

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<p>I thought it was a little boring, sorry. You have used the same words over and over again in the essay. And then you couldn't really explain how you started learning instead of memorizing. Just one sentence on how you starting to really learn instead of memorize facts. I think the difference in the educational systems in India and the US are that here, there is a lot of time spent on reading, critical analysis as well as writing and research.</p>

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<p>next time, put space line between paragraphs and a more detailed specific title to the post--better response that way...</p>

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<p>a couple of suggestions:
1) suggest go into more detail about how you effected the change from memorizing to learning. What did you do differently? Did you have to try several approaches before being successful
2) i agree with the previous poster regarding repetition that isn't useful. The final paragraph has too many verbatim lines from the other paragraphs.
3) don't put words in 'quotes'. Instead, say what you mean. The use of quotes comes across as if you aren't sure of what you are stating and/or want to minimze the impact. In your essay 'school', 'memorizing', 'mental inertia' are all examples
4)spell out 6. </p>

<p>i think this has some possibilities if you dig a bit deeper into how you addressed the challenge with which you were confronted. Maybe the lesson learned isn't 'check your assumptions' but 'try, try again'</p>

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<p>bump.................</p>

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<p>The fact that it is dull is not the problem. The main problem is you found "God" speaking to you through your report card, and the truth of God's word is that the "C"s turned into "A's". In other words, you're a theological gradegrubber. (A "C" was your setback? Give me a break! Given the high seriousness of the question, I found your answer offensive.)</p>

<p>I'd throw it out and start over.</p>

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<p>a 'C' is not my setback at all! it just made me realize that the way i was going about things wasn't necessarily the best way. my setback is the phase of "mental inertia".
but u are right, i have to take the God part out.</p>

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<p>The "God" part is the least of your problems.</p>

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<p>well, u said the "God" part was my main problem, now i am taking it out. i am saying instead that getting bad grades on my first report-card made me realize that i needed to change the way i studied.
thanx for the criticism though...
what other problems do u see if the "God" part is the least of my problems</p>

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<p>edited......</p>