<p>My 15yo son has really just started to motivate himself academically. Although he got good grades in middle school, he could have done better. Drove H and I crazy. Anyway, we started casually talking this past year about grades and SAT scores needed to get into certain colleges. I then started looking at the stats needed to get into colleges he found interesting and passed the info onto him. I think it motivated him just enough to start putting in that little extra effort. Now, my fingers are crossed that when he goes back to school in 10 days he continues to work as hard as he was when he left school in May.</p>
<p>Never really had a problem getting him intersted in EC's. He loves sports and would play sports all 3 school seasons. Unfortunately he goes to a large all boys school with a very competitive althletic program. He made the football and basketball teams but didn't make the baseball team freshman year. He will most likely make the football team this year (hasn't been cut yet) but it will be a stretch for him to make the basketball team even with him playing 5 nights a week in summer leagues. Very unlikely he will make the baseball team. But, I think he is resigned to not making all the teams and is looking forward to doing some clubs at school. </p>
<p>Based on my experience you can't browbeat them into getting motivated. It just doesn't work. It is like brushing teeth, I know my son will think back when he is 30 and wish he spent those few extra minutes brushing and flossing like I asked, but he won't do it now, well he won't do it as well as I would like.</p>
<p>good luck and just keep in mind that it usually all works out in the end and your son will end up in a good spot.</p>
<p>Kelsmom, I so agree with you. I certainly would rather have a kid who is happy and balanced than a stressed out unhappy one. You are doing a great job and I bet that writing songs and such will make your son stand out when applying to college.</p>
<p>Atlmom, when I read that you "give speeches" I just cringed. My parents tried that tactic with my brother and the result was that he moved over 1,000 miles away when he was 19.</p>
<p>One thought that came to mind...if he actually is satisfied with a given grade, no matter the level of the class, you might want to consider putting him back in the tougher classes he had been in. It seems to me that he might have to work a bit harder (and hopefully be at least somewhat more involved with the course) to get an average grade in the tougher class versus an average grade in the less demanding class.</p>
<p>Save your sanity- read the comic strip ZITS. </p>
<p>I am serious about this, with all you can't change, at least you know you are not alone, that your son is perfectly normal... Check out your newspaper or buy the books.</p>
<p>Shyanne, our local hospital takes volunteers starting at age 14. Local animal shelter takes volunteers at 12. Food pantry takes volunteers at 11 for "behind the scenes" work, stocking shelves and making up food packages, and 13 for office work, getting instructions from social workers, scheduling deliveries for volunteer drivers. Environmental organization takes kids as young as 9 for clean up work in parks, beaches, etc. Library takes volunteers with no age requirements, but kid must be suited for the type of job involved.</p>
<p>All of this is "work". I cannot imagine having a 15 year old with enough time for computer games, fooling around with friends, and only minimal school work on weekends and evenings without requiring "work" as a member of the household. His main job is school; if that's not proving to be quite engaging enough, time for a second job. A group of 13 year olds on my block started a toddler "drop off" program this summer in their backyard- made good money, the little kids had a blast, the parents are already talking about doing it next year if the teens are willing. There are lots of ways to work.</p>
<p>I'd just add that working a 'regular' job is not always the best thing. My son was in a similar situation in 10th grade. He got a job at the local icecream parlor (friends worked there). But, his grades took the worst nose-dive, ever. He was a diligent worker, but kept up his percentage of video games/hanging w/friends---the job cut in to the (already minimal) studying time.</p>
<p>A good job--mowing local lawns (no driving for mom, son establishes own client base & follows through).</p>
<p>I was talking about work that pays. People had suggestions about making OP's son work at a minimum wage job to learn how hard it is without a good education.</p>
<p>Around here you can work if under 16 but at least 14 if you have a permit. They arrange those through the school. There are limits as to the hours and kinds of work that can be done. Google your state's work rules for minors.</p>
<p>I am a mother of 3 boys. The youngest of the 3 is the brain. The oldest was an average student doing what he liked well and the others just enough to keep the teachers and parents happy. He is now 24 years old and a licensed Paramedic. The middle one is the social animal. He graduated this June with a 3.0 (with the help of the athletic and choir grades). He has NO desire to do 1 more day of math or english even at the community college level. He loves working with people, is a waiter at an Italian restaurant and began community college yesterday. We searched and found a 1 year certificate program for him in Airline and Travel Careers. All of the classes are public relations oriented and "speak" to him. If he does this course and takes a contract working on a cruise ship as an activities director, or is lucky enough to be hired by an airline in the next couple of years, he can then be gainfully employed while he figures out a future path if there is a different one.</p>
<p>There are many certificate programs that can teach a trade or occupation and do not require the gen ed courses. </p>
<p>As you can see, 3 boys, 3 different paths. I too was a 4.0 honor student in hs, so it was hard for me to see 2 of my 3 sons just plod through school. My advise would be to just keep searching for something that seems to motivate him. If he loves to play video games, maybe suggest that he look into a college or program that teaches how to invent new video games. There is great money in that field. Just an example, but you get the drift. Find something that he can get excited about and have him start researching who might offer education for that path.</p>
<p>My son drove us crazy in high school, and really didn't stop until he hit 22. We tried all kinds of things, had him tested for learning disabilities (had some mild sequencing problems), sent him to a therapist, tried all kinds of motivating/intervention tactics. I think that it all made an impression in the long haul, because we never gave up. That's the most important thing because it reinforces your values and your belief in him. </p>
<p>One thing to keep in mind is that for many boys, the lack of work ethic is simply immaturity and they will eventually grow into it (ours did at the age of 22--- after college). Our S, like katliamom's, also had a zen approach, which bemused us no end. We tried withholding allowance (in the hopes that lack of money would motivate him to do SOMETHING-- we would've been thrilled if he went and got himself a job at McD's), but after he went through all the spare change he could find in the house, he just shrugged and walked everywhere (no subway fare). He was a sweet, non-disruptive kid, so teachers often gave him a pass. Amazingly, there were plenty of (mid-level) colleges that wanted him (this was 5 years ago though). He lasted one semester and decided it wasn't for him. He did eventually go to a local state university. Now, he is operating his own business and seems much happier, not to mention motivated. School just never meant much to him.</p>
<p>One thought: the emphasis on EC's as a 'resume builder' would have really turned off my S. It's better to focus on developing interests as a way of life.</p>
<p>Just an update for all of the kind posters with great advice here.
My son seems to have turned the corner, joined a club, is doing very well in school and said in the car, "I actually like doing homework. I enjoy the learning." :^O Eureka moment. I think he gets it finally. Not saying the struggles are over but at least he is working hard.</p>
<p>So good to hear, atlmom! My S is a junior & does challenge himself in school, but he just isn't quite as motivated as he probably could be. He has the highest grade in AP Bio - but he figures a B is fine in Spanish. Why? He likes bio, hates Spanish (not that anyone made him take it ... ). That's just how he is. We have discussed the importance of the PSAT in terms of NMS ... has he even opened the study guide, much less tried a sample test? Of course not. Any clubs or sports? Yeah, right. However, he does spend plenty of time with his music (composing, recording, mixing) - it's not mainstream music, but he is committed & has CDs to back it up - so he'll have to play that up for his ECs. I also had a girl-child first ... easier as far as school goes (harder in other ways!). </p>