<p>Proper medication----she'll notice a gradual improvement in about 6 wks.</p>
<p>I can understand your anxiety..I'm sure some things are just your daughters quirks but you know when something just isn't right. One of my daughters goes to the beat of her own drummer also, doesn't dress like many of the girls at school (fashionable but not "sexy") she doesn't tolerate drinking and smoking and "acting stupid" and would prefer to be alone than with a big crowd. . Maybe she's more mature in some ways, but her views are "older" than some. She did make 2 friends that are like her but she doesn't mind her own company either. I will have to help her find colleges that will fit her type if possible. Do you think your daughter might be happier somewhere else? My son doesn't drink and although it cuts out a lot, not being at a "party school" helps. Certain schools he crossed off because that seemed to be all they did every weekend.</p>
<pre><code>I found to help my daughter's anxiety with strangers, a low-key volunteer job with minimal people and later having a friend join her in another activity worked. My son, also found it hard to meet strangers at first and he found a part time job at school that gave him an outlet to meet new people in a safe way and make extra money. Singing worked too, but everyone is different.
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<p>I hope you both have a good talk and find possible solutions that are workable. Social anxiety can be dibilitating but treatable. Her personality though might always be more inward than outward and that's fine if that's who she is.</p>
<p>Although a person can feel at ease with being alone, in the long run there are mental health issues associated with not having effective social relationships. She is not happy about her situation. Most telling, however, as you describe her is that she doesn't even like random every day social interactions which involve talking with other people. </p>
<p>For social anxiety the best approaches are Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with or without medication. She is giving herself messages about social situations which precede her feelings and she needs support to work on both.</p>
<p>Depending on how 'quirky' she might be, thinking about Asperger is relevant. Kids with ADD have social issues initially because they miss cues or are impulsive. For kids with Asperger it is more fundamental- they just don't get why other people think the way they do and can't put themselves in the mind of another person. It is not as if the lines between these are in concrete- too.</p>
<p>How this translates into a sophomore in college is a bit harder to sift through. If she is into science I would encourage her to get a job in a lab, if she is into English a job in a library. Finding like minded people is important. But, once the anxiety response is entrenched, it really is not enough. As she is not sharing much through technology, i think a visit is a great idea.</p>
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[quote]
If it is D, there is a co-ed, non-drinking "frat"--although it might not be called that. I knew two girls from different schools who were miserable there until they joined. They both ended up very happy once they did. Maybe something to look into?
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Maybe you are talking about Alpha Phi Omega (APO), a service club that reminds me of Boy Scout co-ed Venturing Crews? Many many colleges have branches of this club.</p>
<p>I'd ditto anitaw's advice about cognitive therapy. That's a great program to specifically treat social anxiety. There are some good books out on it, including David Burns' "Feeling Good" and "Intimate Connections."</p>
<p>my DD is kind of like this, too. she thinks she will reinvent herself in college, but i am not sure she will be able to do it!!!</p>
<p>hope you find the solution!!!</p>