Parents Using College Acceptances to Compete

<p>In my kids HS is the tradition to only post the school you have committed to, regardless of how many you’ve been accepted to. I did the same when my son decided. One mother however posted all her kids acceptances and even where he got wailisted (Princeton).It would not be bragging if I would have asked her about her son’s acceptances however.</p>

<p>What’s an Apgar?</p>

<p>But speaking as a student what we do here is post every result. Most people will be like “Got into SUNY New Paltz! 7/7 so far!”</p>

<p>I don’t really care about hearing results (I actually like it) but the tally is just stupid because IMHO, my 1/3 (Georgetown accept, Harvard reject, Chicago waitlist) is more impressive than your 7/7 of all lower tier SUNYS and CUNYS.</p>

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<p>But isn’t it all in the eye of the beholder?
If you think that someone is bragging you must be a bragger yourself, right ? ;)</p>

<p>Eh, I am really happy today but I won’t brag :)</p>

<p>Sally, I remember when I was very excited when mine finally hit the graph for weight & it was a huge milestone when she hit 20lbs and again @ 40. ( It seems like she was 5 or 6 yr old)
Its all about perspective.</p>

<p>An Apgar is a test you cant study for. D’s was 4 &4.</p>

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<p>Well, you obviously did not know about the Mozart Effect ;)</p>

<p>I did not known either, but I had my kids take MANY years of gruesome violin lessons to make up for that ignorance while I was pregnant… ;)</p>

<p>A woman that I was a nanny for at the time of my pregnancy was very interested in the Doman & Delacato research and wanted me to try flash cards with her youngest, but I had too short an attention span.
I just wanted to watch Mr Rogers.</p>

<p>CSIHSIS,
An Apgar is a test an infant is given one minute and five minutes after birth. It looks at skin color, breathing, muscle tone,pulse rate, and reflexes. Each item gets a score of 0-2. Max score is 10. A baby in distress or with health issues will have a low score.</p>

<p>We live in an upper-income suburban area where many parents are heavily invested in their kids’ success, and who understand the overall challenges facing their children’s generation. There’s a fair amount of legitimate bragging amongst some parents, often displayed with false modesty, because their kids are high achievers with a “golden” future ahead of them. But there’s also a fair amount of sincere handwringing amongst another group of parents, concerning their kids that aren’t performing to conventional expectations, who have serious academic learning-disability and/or psychological issues, and won’t be attending the high-profile colleges that their parents did.</p>

<p>My kids Apgars were good enough. But they retook anyway and at 5 minutes had an upward trend ;)</p>

<p>I do think that if your kid get accepted to a school and you say: accepted to UF and Georgetown 10 more to go. Is bragging I am sorry…</p>

<p>I posted on FB when my D2 got accepted to her #1 reach, her sister posted, and her dad posted and SHE posted "12/12/12 luckiest day, indeed " and included the snap chat of the acceptance letter with the above post. I did NOTHING to get in her into that school, other than tell her she could apple ED. She deserved the bragging rights and we deserved to be proud. Now, that being said, I’m not allowed to brag on FB about anything…ACT scores, class rank, etc…but that one thing, I had her permission on. I agree on above posters, I had SCADS of family and friends waiting on the decision, and FB was the easiest and fastest way to let them all know. I think most people know when you’re bragging and when you’re just being a proud parent.</p>

<p>You can’t control how other people perceive your FB posts or any other part of your life. If someone is offended that I post my kids acceptances on FB they can unfriend me. I really don’t understand why anyone would get all wound up over someone else’s FB posts.</p>

<p>agree with proudpatriot. </p>

<p>There are many different people that chose to “friend” me on my FB page. Many of them are distant family that keep up with me and my family via FB. Some of my friends, and even co-workers are privy to some of the communication I have with my family because of their choice to “friend” me. </p>

<p>If they do not want to see that, then unfriend me.</p>

<p>^^^higgins2012
One person’s sharing is another person’s bragging, and the difference is only in the eye of the beholder. Kids who end up in the middle of the class with middling test scores - our local HS (top public HS in the state) averages are in the 560 range per section. Some of them may have learning differences and others just are not academically focused. Because it’s a well-off area, they tend to end up as full pay students at very small LACs full of kids with similar backgrounds. In most cases, this is not the outcome the parents expected when the kids were born - most have accepted that fact, but it is still a difficult time. These parents are highly sensitive in conversations about college acceptances…any sharing is absolutely perceived as bragging. I didn’t mention where my kids were accepted unless someone asked, but there is so much interest in colleges that the news typically gets around anyway. No need to share other than with family and a few very close friends.</p>

<p>I see no problem at all with announcing good news about college acceptances, especially when one thinks of all the intrusive and unwelcome questions one gets from friends and family during the application process. I find all the questions just add stress. I also hate when someone presses me or my child with the “what is your first choice school”? And then when you diplomatically deflect the question they come back again with “oh come on, everyone has a first choice”. With these people you know they are keeping score. So when the good news arrives I am more than happy to share!</p>

<p>This is such a sensitive issue. I think a lot depends on the school. If your child gets into a top level school, others may perceive it as bragging. So I think it can help how you phrase it. That may not seem right, but it may help with others’ reactions.</p>

<p>When someone states with pride and joy that son or daughter got into an average school, it is somehow seen as a statement of joy - not bragging. However, if it is a top level reach school, it can be perceived as bragging. Not exactly fair, but it taps into others’ envy and can evoke that reaction.</p>

<p>Maggiedog is right - announcements about highly selective schools do seem to elicit more attention and probably seem more boastful. One exception would probably be an “underdog” student who had some sort of struggle or obstacles along the way. But for the typical bright advantaged student, it can seem like bragging.</p>

<p>There is a huge difference between “Suzie got into Harvard !!!” and “Suzie got into Harvard ED, only one from our school, she is so wonderful. I’m just amazed at how smart she is”. :D</p>

<p>The first one I would reply “WAY TO GO” the second one I would roll my eyes and move on :D.</p>

<p>You’re right, above 3!, it is in the eye of the reader…I think some people probably saw my post as bragging and some probably were crying tears of joy along with me. Some people may have seen her as a “typical bright advantaged student” but they didn’t see her studying for hours and hours on end, giving up parties and social events, and taking books with her everywhere. They didn’t see her take 8 ACT practice math tests to try and improve her score. They didn’t see her go to the used book store and buy every 5 steps to a 5 book and study them till she knew every answer. So if they interpreted that as bragging, then they don’t know my kid at all</p>

<p>I am more proud as my kids FINISH and GRADUATE from college than feeling proud from where they attend. Graduating is the accomplishment…not the acceptance.</p>

<p>I did not post any acceptances to FB, but I sure as heck posted (and will post hopefully again for 2 and again for 3 a pic of their college graduation!</p>