<p>“Just hang in there and try to maintain a positive attitude, if you want your parents to be in an agreeable mood when you discuss this with them you want to present an air of maturity about the situation or they’ll just shut you down right off the bat”</p>
<p>I think you’re confused. If I understood punkchique, then this isn’t some child-like negotiation with her parents where she tries to prove her maturity. It’s simply that her parents offered/intended to do one thing, and found that this wasn’t financially viable later on (admittedly it’s their own fault for spending the money).</p>
<p>The parents aren’t refusing to pay; it sounds like they simply can’t make it work without placing a burden on themselves. I’m sure it’s as difficult a decision for her parents. It’s no fun having to tell your kid they can’t go to a school that accepted her after she made her misery clear.</p>
<p>I think Punkchique needs to try and get a scholarship if any are still out there, and do the best she can. It’s unfortunate that her family is in this situation, but it’s simply a matter of working together to get the funds. It has nothing to do with “convincing” her parents. If anything, it sounds like the parents are offering more than they really can.</p>
<p>No, I am not confused. I am just saying that stomping her feet and insisting that mom screwed her over is going to create more problems than it will solve, even if she is right to be upset, which I have experienced personally after my parents told me college was taken care of, didn’t allow me to get a job “because college is taken care of,” and then they spent all their savings on frivolous crap and didn’t take care of college because at the last moment they decided it wasn’t their responsibility after I’d been promised my whole life they’d take care of it. I then proceeded to whine and complain about how I had been wronged for two years, screwed my relationship with my parents, made myself needlessly miserable while I WAS still getting an education even if it wasn’t the one I wanted, and I made absolutely zero progress in making the situation livable for myself until I stopped b**ching about it and figured out what my parents and I COULD do to satisfy me as much as possible while taking into account their new priorities. </p>
<p>Note that I am not saying that is what the OP is going to do, but since that’s the tone this overall thread ended up taking I thought I would chime in on my experience with how constructive that attitude really is, regardless of if it is warranted. Life isn’t fair, and while it’s perfectly okay to get upset when it isn’t, dwelling on the unfairness is not always the most productive course of action-- especially not when ones parents are concerned, because let’s face it, how often are they going to admit they were wrong? ESPECIALLY if directly confronted and accused of doing something morally wrong or implying that they’re a bad parent, like has been said in this thread? My point was just that while it’s okay to think these things it’s best to keep them to herself if she wants to move forward from this as best as is possible.</p>
<p>Okay, fair enough. I agree that confronting her parents with an accusatory tone is not a good idea. I didn’t think this was in the OP’s plans, but I agree with you completely. It would be very self-righteous to reprimand parents for not paying a premium to go to a better fitting school–especially since they’re already paying for the current college!</p>
<p>But, to bring this back on topic, I do hope punkchique gets some good suggestions on how to help fund her college hopes–bringing together her parent’s means with some external sources. Unfortunately, I don’t have any good suggestions, but I just want to bring this back on topic and encourage others to respond =).</p>
<p>I encountered my problem straight out of high school, so the circumstances were different. </p>
<p>It is really hard to find scholarships as a transfer student, there are not many out there. OP needs to find out what parents can afford to contribute and what they can’t first and foremost. Then get digging, talk to the FA office at the new school and ask them for info about every opportunity they can think of, and also check out local things. There are tons and tons of local scholarships in most cities that people aren’t even aware of, so they have very small applicant pools. They are small but you will likely have to chip away at this rather than get the money in one fell swoop. I don’t know how much money we’re talking here but it may be unrealistic to manage it without taking on any debt at all, but it just depends on the circumstance. Work and save your money. If you aren’t taking classes in the summer I suggest you work full time. </p>
<p>I wonder, why is this more expensive school the only alternative to the one you hate? Is there another similarly priced school you could consider now that push has come to shove? I don’t really think any student only carries the potential to be happy at one certain school.</p>
<p>Thanks both of you, I really appreciate it.</p>
<p>As to options, I am working full time this summer and I plan on working when/if I go off to school also. The school gave me a small amount in merit aid that doesn’t even put a dent in the amount. And as for FA, that’s impossible because I am international. But I am calling around to many different companies and organizations to find out about aid and that feels like a job in itself lol.</p>
<p>Also the reason why the more expensive school is my only alternative is complicated and partly my fault. See, it was always my top choice and where I wanted to go from high school. During my transfer application process my admittance email to that school actually came out before any of the deadlines to any of my other schools. When I told my dad this he said not to bother applying to any other schools because if that’s where I really wanted to go, that’s where I was going so I didn’t submit anymore applications. In hindsight, that was not very smart at all, I left myself no other options and that I deeply regret. I got so focused on one school (and this was actually the first time I went through the application process as my current school “recruited” me and I didn’t apply to any colleges at all my senior year so I was a bit naive in the process) I feel so silly now, looking back on it.</p>
<p>And at my current school I’m on a full academic scholarship which is why I’m considering staying even though I hate it.</p>
<p>Saying your parents don’t OWE you an education is technically true and all well and good but it’s a little simplistic. The Department of Education holds your parents income AGAINST you until you are 24, I think this alone indicates your parents have an obligation to help you pay for school.</p>
<p>Student loans suck, but they will help make you appreciate your achievement a bit more. </p>
<p>If you’re going to transfer, offer to take out a modest loan. It will show maturity to your parents and help them out some. I have over $20,000 of student loans (and more piling up as we speak), but my monthly payment isn’t that staggering. </p>
<p>If this is your “dream school”, then taking out a $5,000 loan to show your parents that you are serious about this goal isn’t to much to ask.</p>
<p>I would agree that if a small student loan can help take some of the weight off here, that is not necessarily the end of the world. Just be very careful about how much you take out. I took way too much.</p>
<p>@BIGeastBEAST & Emaheevul07, My dad doesn’t want me taking out anything in my own name. I once tried to talk to him about taking out a loan in my name for MED SCHOOL and he nearly flipped. He told me than him and mom would handle it when the time came (which of course I’m dubious about now). My parents (my dad) believe that education is entirely their responsibility. And my responsibility is to return home, take care of my sisters and run the family business.
Is there a way for me to get a loan without my dad knowing?</p>
<p>Of course, walk down to the bank (hypothetically speaking) and apply for a loan.</p>
<p>You seem to forget that you are an adult. The fact that you’re most likely claimed as a dependent may have some bearing on the situation, but either way - of course you can get lines of credit without your parents knowing. Just like you can buy your own car, your own insurance, get a credit card, ect. You’re not in HS anymore, letters aren’t sent home to your parents requesting their permission, you have all the control over your life as you want.</p>
<p>However, if they are that passionate over the issue, let them win this won. Let them pay for your school, however…I must say, walking away from a full scholarship and subsequently putting your family in a financial hole is selfish of you.</p>
<p>You can play the “I’m so miserabe” routine all you want, but that’s life - buy a helmet.</p>
<p>P.S. If you live in the Caribbean, I have no idea how things work there. I assumed you were an American Citizen attending an American school.</p>
<p>Ok, I don’t know why everyone is tip toeing around this. This mom did a very irresponsible, selfish deed. Why should OP pay for it? ****ing your college money away, taking 7 family members to the China olympics is just ludicrous! It is beyond selfish and impulsive.</p>
<p>If the dad is willing to take loans for your college, go for it. On the other hand, if you are going to college just to finish and come back to work in your family business, it doesn’t even make sense to go.</p>
<p>What would be selfish is making the father/family, pay twice for the mistake of her mother. The OP is on a full scholarship, so she’s pretty darn lucky. I don’t see any need for anyone to take out any unnecessary loans when her college tuition is already paid for.</p>
<p>If I were her, I’d stay put, enjoy the free education she already has and if her father wishes to do more…do a study abroad type thing or a semester at sea and let him finance it.</p>
<p>I’m not excusing the actions of the father, because if the OPs side of the story is accurate, she did a very wrong thing. But making the father take out loans when they aren’t needed is also wrong, and you know what they say…</p>
<p>She is very unhappy at her free school and the parents knew she was only going to stay there for a year (per her post). I say let him go for the loan and they can look at their Olympic pics and remember why they took it out.</p>