<p>i swear, perfectionism is seriously deteriorating me mentally and everything else. im obsessed with becomng skinny and having the perfect body by the time i go to france next year during spring break; if i eat one piece of junk food, im like, "oh, ur too fat. we're just gonna have to start the diet again nex sunday." then a whole week is wasted to binge eating and feeling gross. academically, im like, "ok starting today, i'm gonna study for sats." if i mess up on one problem or dont do everything uniformly then im like, "i guess i'll have to start next week." same story there.</p>
<p>what should i do??? help me out!!! my life is going to be wasted away.</p>
<p>how do i get rid of this all or nothing mindset?</p>
<p>Put a magnet on your refrigerator that reads "No, U R Fat." j/k. Sorry I don't have anything helpful to say. :-/ (I got that magnet idea from this one singer named Carly Hennessy who did that to prevent herself from overeating.)</p>
<p>if you're not careful, such kind of thinking about your body image can lead to anorexia and/or bulimia (i'm sure you know this already). i'm also highly perfectionistic but not to the extent that i would feel bad about eating a piece of junk food. however, what i'm concerned about is trying to incorporate exercise (a reasonable amount) into my daily routine, and i get frustrated when i can't find time to do so. i'm usually worn out by the end of the day already, having gotten only 5 hours of sleep the previous night and i still have to go to work for 5 hours on top of a 4-hour hw load. </p>
<p>what i set out to do is establish reasonable long-term goals for myself...it wasn't easy. it took time to sink in my head but reasonable long-term goals are better in the long run. say 30 mins of SAT practice per day and 20 mins of exercise everyday (your cravings will go away if you feed your body enough). don't fall into the trap of being concerned about what society thinks of you (i know it's hard when you're already halfway into the trap) but really convince yourself that you shouldn't give in to society's standards. by thinking this way, you'd manage to think positively. Hold your chin up REGARDLESS of what happens. if you get a bad grade, hold your head up even higher. eventually, this type of mentality will catch up on you and will allow you to bounce back from every bad fall you encounter (believe me, it works). thinking negatively won't help anyway, so why not convince others, through your demeanor, that you won't let petty stuff get to you. by thinking this way, you'll eventually be able to convince yourself that concerning yourself with issues that will only get you down is not worth it. the other day, i got a bad grade on a test because i didn't study for it (fell asleep the previous night after i got home from working a 5 1/2 hour shift). i was disappointed but i picked myself back up and moved on. it's incredibly hard to do this when you're perfectionistic, but you have to make a conscious effort to do so.
finally, write in a journal. if you're feeling lazy, you have to force yourself to put your feelings down on paper. it will take some initiative to get into the daily habit of writing in a journal but over time it helps because it helps you keep things in perspective. if you have doubts, try it and you will find that it's an excellent stress reliever. at first, i didn't have the motivation to write on a daily basis (because i was conscious about how well i could write, even though i intended for my journal to be private) but i forced myself to write one entry per day over a week, and after a week i developed the habit of writing daily. you should be able to write in a journal EVERYTHING that's on your mind. EVERYTHING.
if you don't have a paper journal at the moment, try an online one. xanga.com is an online blogging community where you can read blogs of people with similar interests as you. it's also good for support and feedback from people who don't know you well and can offer objective advice. </p>
<p>if you find yourself slacking off because you feel overwhelmed by a certain task, cut down on it until you can manage to do it regularly (say if you're still not fine with 30 mins of SAT practice, cut it down to 20 mins everyday). at first, i wanted to jog for 30 mins a day but decided i needed to work my way up there gradually. so now i jog 20 mins a day and i'm finding it reasonable for the time being. i plan to increase this 5 mins each week. also, start off slow every time. you might even want to start with 10 mins of SAT practice for a week, then gradually increase.</p>
<p>keep us updated. and
DO NOT LET ANYTHING GET TO YOU. take this advice to heart.</p>
<p>oh wow. thanks angryschnauzer! it really helps to know that someone is going through things similar as me.</p>
<p>its especially hard with me because one of my best friends is absolutely perfect...and even though i tell myself that i dont let myself do what society says to do, i guess i really am...</p>
<p>today was a good day tho! so far anyway...i had an apple and some bacon in the morning, a banana and milk for lunch...and an apple when i got back from school...and a decent (and delicious) dinner! i only had a small brownie...which i couldnt turn down (out of politeness, of course :)) since my teacher had made them for the newspaper staff...</p>
<p>and i didnt beat myself up about not being able to work out today because i knew that with piano lessons i wouldnt have time. so now...i am off to some more browsing in cc...then sat prep...then hw!</p>
<p>You're not the only one. I'm not sure how to change it, or if I even have. One summer I felt that way...I don't think I was anorexic, but I really liked the feeling of being hungry and I lost a lot of weight and loved that skinny feeling...but that made me anemic and I'm still suffering the consequences. </p>
<p>You've heard it before,that nobody's perfect. Nothing wrong with trying your best, but setting up impossible standards will hurt you in the long run. Try to find little indulgences that make you happy.</p>
<p>its so great to have people that i dont even know care so much! haha.</p>
<p>my perfect night is getting even more perfect! i completed my sat prep and now im diligently working on hw...and i feel hungry...but i (i know this sounds scary, but its true for ppl like me) think that nothing tastes better than being skinny.</p>
<p>u guys, im not anorexic, i swear. i eat! i love to eat! haha. thanks again guys.</p>
<p>if you'll permit a mom to intrude here... you might want to consider that "perfectionism" is an unworthy banner to march under. It's deceptive in that at its root is the word "perfect," which is seemingly a good thing. But it's not when all it's doing is giving you a sort of permission to beat up on your mind and body at a time when you're asking a lot of yourself. Not perfect, not good at all. And in the end, how you treat yourself sets the tone for how you treat others. So treat yourself better, like you would treat a cherished friend. Eat healthfully. While you set about studying, work hard at discerning what's critical to your task and what's simply extra detail that's steering away from true understanding. Hope this helps. I can't stand to see bright kids chipping away at themselves. You guys are worth more than this.</p>
<p>When I’m doing projects I am probably a perfectionist. Everything just has to be just PERFECT! Like my last project, I made a movie about Cinderella 1945 Long Island New York Sicilian Mafia Theme/ Godfather Theme. It turned out so amazing I go a standing ovation from my class, complements throughout the day, a copy for librarian and teach, an easy 100 or above? All due towards me being a perfectionist. :)</p>
<p>I did? Yes… But I found this somehow googling something about High School Life, and liked the subject of the thread. I don’t see the real BAD HARSH CONSEQUENCES from a harmless bump. But since you used a smiley I’ll excuse this. :)</p>