Personal statement- feedback? advice?

<p>This is the first draft of my personal statement. I just wrote it and I'd like some outside advice and feedback. Help please?!</p>

<p>[ESSAY DELETED BY MODERATOR]</p>

<p>Note: 1st draft- this is how I spend my summer nights! Woo!
Any help would be much appreciated. Thank you!</p>

<p>WOAH! Dude! Don’t post your essays in the public like this! I will read it and PM you feedback, but if you make a second draft do NOT post it like this. Make a thread asking who can read your essay then pick the most “trustworthy seeming” members and PM them your essay.</p>

<p>Oh no… I wasn’t thinking of that. I saw someone else post theirs and I thought it would be a good idea. Thanks, I better delete this. Agh! I’m screwed. D:</p>

<p>Oh lord. they run plagiarism searches on the internet. luckily yours sounds pretty unique, so if you can’t delete it, they’ll be able to tell it was you…</p>

<p>this is why you should be able to completely delete things on CC.</p>

<p>Oh come on! Why don’t they let you delete your posts? The glory of the internet…</p>

<p>fajweiofjawo send an email to the overlords of CC asap asking to delete this thread.</p>

<p>they say it’s so progeny can read through threads but not be confused</p>

<p>I did, but I doubt that they’ll reply. :’(</p>

<p>MODERATOR’S NOTE:</p>

<p>I deleted the essay as requested. Moderators are volunteers, and we typically don’t stay up until 3:13 AM to check members’ reports.</p>

<p>Please use this as a lesson NOT to post sensitive material of any kind. We usually don’t grant delete requests, but I made an exception this time.</p>

<p>Oh #@$%. I posted my essay on another forum on the internet…You say that it’ll turn up for plagiarism?</p>

<p>I highly doubt that a reputable college would have the time to check every personal statement and essay each student submits, especially if the college is getting tens of thousands of applications. That said, since it was you who wrote it, I don’t think there’s a cause for worry.</p>