Please grade my essay

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>This is my first essay and is of 247 words</p>

<p>Prompt: In a culture obsessed with superficial appearances, our leaders should be those who can see beyond the surface. Judging a book by its cover is the job of the consumer, but reading the book—pondering its contents and perhaps seeking to write new chapters—is the job of a leader.
Assignment: How important is it to look beyond superficial appearances?</p>

<p>In today’s world, life has become so competitive with everyone trying to come out at the top that we have forgotten one basic rule to, “never judge a book by its cover.”
Harry Potter teaches us to be brave, loyal and to look beyond materialism. When Harry is making his first journey to Hogwarts, he shares his compartment with Ron Weasley who was dressed in shabby clothes. Draco Malfoy tells Harry that he would be better off without befriending Ron to which Harry replies that he can choose his own friends. This clearly shows that Harry considered it more to look at the nature and character of a person before judging them.
The movie, Front of the Class, follows the life of Brad Cohen who has Tourette’s syndrome due to which he makes strange noises and tics. All of his teachers thought he was doing it for fun until one day his middle school principal made Brad tell the whole school about his problem. The principal inspired Brad to be a teacher. However, in adulthood, despite having an excellent resume and portfolio, Brad was rejected by twenty four schools, due to Tourette’s, before he got his golden chance.
Both Brad Cohen and Harry Potter teach us a lesson, that it is okay to be different from others or to be poor. At the end of the day, what matters the most is that you have a beautiful personality which leaves an impact on the life of others.</p>

2

<p>3 or 4, but I don’t know if I’m being too harsh on SAT Writing essays (after my AP Lang teacher’s intense workshops on analyzing writing). Good start.</p>

<p>Specifics: Your intro, although short and lacking any “supershiny” hook, answers the question the prompt asks you to explore. It’s a “basic rule,” as you say. Good, but not super.</p>

<p>Your paragraphs lack flow, but I think graders would find it acceptable seeing as you only have 20 min.</p>

<p>Harry Potter example was good, but try not to just provide a summary; go more in depth on the types of society Ron and Draco represent. Also, what special, out-of-the-mold character does Harry represent? He’s following the “basic rule”, and he effectively transcends the evils of the series, reaching higher levels of knowing (near-death experience).</p>

<p>I’m not familiar with Front of the Class, but your paragraph on it provided a good <em>summary</em>, though lacks flow again. Again, delving in deeper on what specific characters/ actions stand for will win you points.</p>

<p>Your final paragraph strays a little from the prompt, from judging a book by its cover to being different. Same idea, yes, but making another reference to superficial appearances might make the flow better.</p>

<p>Overall, probably work on flow for future essays. Sorry if any of this sounds harsh…</p>