please grade my essay! :(

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>hi guys-
I;m not that great of a fast essay writer so I am kind of nervous for the sat essay- I tried one... Please honestly grade it.</p>

<p>Prompt:Is progress always positive?</p>

<p>Essay</p>

<p>Progress is the result of hard perseverance and work. It carves our way into the future and gives us something to look back upon. Progress no matter what kind is always positive.</p>

<p>To make progress, one usually perseveres towards a goal. Whether the goal be from baking cookies to bringing world peace, anything that progresses towards one's goal is something positive for hat person. Homework for example can become a huge struggle for students now days. Progress in completing their homework would be viewed very positively by he student. </p>

<p>Furthermore, even in gigantic goals that affects millions of people, such as wars, progress on one's side will bring joy to people in that country. Even when that country loses the war, and progress is made on the other opposing side, in the end, no matter what viewpoint, positive progress was accomplished in the country that gained victory. </p>

<p>"We will not be satisfied with anything less than progress, for progress is always positive," is a verstile statement. progress will always be a great thing that make us one step closer to our goal. Progress is why we live in such a wonderful world today.</p>

<p>I know it doesn't sound that great right now, but that was my first attempt at the SAT essay so please give me some responses on how I did!
Thank you so much!</p>

2

<p>Well= .5
Narrow= 0
Focus=0
Relate=2</p>

<p>12-1.5-1.5-2= 6.5 round down to 6</p>

<p>to be honest, your essay is too short and way too broad. you need to focus your thesis down to a specific field. for example, you could write about the invention of the light bulb. your thesis could be: Thomas Edison’s invention of the light bulb revolutionized society positively and even allowed for further advancements in society despite its initial rejection. overall, your essay is unfocused</p>

3

<p>I like your writing style, but you should be more specific, give at least 2 clear examples. I honestly think you wouldn’t get more than 6 and I’m talking from my personal experience.</p>

4

<p>3</p>

<p>You are doing it wrong. The CB says “support your position with reasoning and examples reasoning taken from your READING, STUDIES experience or observations”. Ideally you are supposed to be using academic examples and being more specific is helpful.</p>

<p>Your extremely generic examples are home work and war, and I dont find them persuasive. What if the homework was off topic and a waste of time- should the student feel positive about that? What about from the perspective of the country that loses the war- likely progress isnt ALWAYS positive for them. </p>

<p>You also have some awkward phrases, for instance “hard perseverance and work”.</p>

5

<p>2/6…</p>