please grade my essay

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>topic : Should people be judged by their potential rather than by their experience and achievements ?</p>

<p>People should be judged by their potential and what they are capable of doing rather than by their experiences and achievements . Thus, placing too much emphasis on people's past achievements would lead to an immutable world that gives no chance to novice and that is one the verge of declining because its experienced are no longer present !</p>

<pre><code>As demonstrated by Mark Rutcher experience , looking only at an individual's experience and achievement is definitely superficial in determining his or her ability of being lucrative. Mark was a novice programmer who was aiming to work in Microsoft or in Apple companies . Unfortunately he was denied by both world leading companies because he was inexperienced enough to work in any of them . However ,Mark did not give up ;indeed, he decided to launch his own program. Soon after it was launched , the program was used by more than one million user worldwide and achieved a massive success which enticed Microsoft to buy the program from Rutcher . If Microsoft has given a chance to mark , the novice employer , the enormous success of the program would have been contributed to It, and It would have saved the billion dollar which it gave to Mark.
</code></pre>

<p>Furthermore, Henry Calvin experience also proves that people should be determined by what they are able to do not what they have previously done . Henry was a beginning writer . He wrote a book and submitted it to numerous publishing agencies . Unfortunately , fearing financial loss , all of the agencies refused to publish his book . After a couple of months , one of the agencies agreed to give Henry a chance , and published his book . Although it wasn't expected to attract many readers , the book achieved an unexpected success and became a best seller in the united states and other 30 countries . &lt;/p>

<p>To conclude , those who are currently experienced and successful were obviously once novice with no achievements . Certainly it's definitely unfair and shallow to judge people by what they have done rather than by their potentials. </p>

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<p>lol, I was going to ask people to grade my essay on this same topic. I’d like to post it here to avoid trashing the forum. </p>

<p>Topic : Should people be judged by their potential rather than by their experience and achievements ?</p>

<p>Treating people according to what they did in the past is a judgmental mentality. People always learn and change; besides, if they did bad thing, only a fair trial would judge them, not us. Therefore, we should not assess people because of their past.</p>

<p>My uncle, Edson Tavares, is a nice man. He always help other people in the family whenever they need, and he has a bright personality. Although in the past, he was convicted of abusing authority (he was a police officer) and jailed for five years, he has completely changed. Nevertheless, the society doesn’t accept him: he had difficulties finding a job to support his family due to his past, and suffered a lot from this perception.</p>

<p>According to a study published on Journal of Anthropology that I read a few years ago, countries where people answer “Yes” on the question “Will you forgive a murderer after he finished his sentences?” have marginally lower crime rate and significantly lower homicide rate. Though we can argue that these countries usually establish an altruistic culture; thus have less crime, we have to agree that the statistic support love and forgiveness.</p>

<p>We can love our enemies. So why can’t we love people who have already paid the prices and attempt the righteous path?</p>

<p>Thank you. :D</p>

3

<p>@gogo97‌
Your essay does demonstrate clarity of thought and has two good examples to support its claim; however, your essay would get a score of 8 or a 9, at best.
The two examples that you have mentioned are very similar to each other: they both are about two men, who were rejected because of lack of accolades and achievements, and their latent potentials.Bring some diversity.
Moreover, I think that your essay is quite laconic.Try elaborating your examples or expanding on the thesis statement.
" Henry Calvin experience’ and " Mark Rutcher experience" are not grammatically correct.
The repetition of the thesis statement in the same format in both the examples makes the essay a bit dull.You see, you are writing an essay to support your thesis and you have to convince the reader. So don’t just state your examples in the passage. Make a point! Give each paragraph’s its own function of introducing a new aspect to the thesis and support it with examples.</p>

4

<p>@dokisame‌
I am sorry to say , but your essay might get a score of 4. I fear that it might as well get a 0 for deviating from the topic.
Even though your essay has a great structure, it does not talk about the main point. Yes, it does support that people should not judge others based on their past experiences, but does it support the claim that people should instead be judged by their potential?Your essay has become more about accepting people despite their past. even your introduction and conclusion sing the same song.
In addition to grammatical mistakes, your essay lacks wordiness. It is very small. Since you have two pages to fill in the SAT, you should add as much reasonable material you can.
Your second paragraph does not bolster your claim in anyway.The conclusion is very small and does not sum up the main point.
Next time your write an essay, stick to the main point.
You can send it over to me :)</p>

5

<p>Hello friends! I have been going crazy over my SAT essay. That’s when a friend suggested this forum.
So can you please help me out and approximately grade my essay? </p>

<p>Topic: Do people need to compare themselves with others in order to appreciate what they have?</p>

<p>The Essay: </p>

<p>In today’s world, it is impossible to escape this sweet-sour attitude- comparisons. It happens in schools, at your workplace, at a playground or even at a play. It’s a source of inspiration and instills healthy competition. But that’s the sweet part. What makes it bitter is that it builds pressure on the people being compared, especially the ones who are being talked down to. And , when comparisons go out of hand ,it creates a sense of shame and embarrassment.</p>

<p>Parents put a lot of pressure on kids because “the neighbor’s kid scored a half mark more.” Its discouraging for the child not to have anyone supporting him/her, or being happy for what he/she achieved. It becomes imperative, in such cases, for parents to realize that every kid isn’t the same. All kids have varying capabilities, and it’s necessary that their strengths are honed. But instead, due to such comparisons, their weaknesses are highlighted. While their “refuge” from comparisons is stolen from them, high school is crueler. Kids are bullied and beaten, for being different. They are alienated, called names, and they end up being a wallflower. This makes the child more depressed, and his confidence dissipates day by day. This is evident in the increasing suicide rates amongst students, specifically teenagers.</p>

<p>Our compulsion with comparisons is so much, that we have created systems and institutions, specifically exams, which test us and judge us. But how effective are these? Given that these tests have made comparisons easier, but a set of numbers shouldn’t be able to decide our futures. Practical strength overrules theoretical knowledge. A car mechanic may not know the physics behind the working of a car, but if he’s able to efficiently fix it, he’s successful. If he were to be taken through a series of tests and judge him on that, he would definitely be deemed unfit to be a car mechanic. Similarly, one of my classmates in 10th grade , Shane, could do wonders with mechanics. He had built and programmed robots and prototype models of cars from scratch. But, unfortunately, his ability to learn the text wasn’t as good as his skill. He failed the class, and had to leave the school. But tell me, wasn’t he more innovative and qualified than his test scores revealed?</p>

<p>Thirdly, and perhaps one of the most terrifying concerns, is that overdone comparisons eliminates originality. In our desperation to escape this vicious cycle, we start emulating others. It destroys our sense of individuality and condemns us to be mere followers with no opinion or speciality of our own. This is not only a loss to one’s own self, but also affects the world, because gradually, originality and innovation will diminish to nothingness, and the world will be staring into a dark abyss.</p>

<p>Hence, its imperative to be influenced and not be smothered by comparisons. It is very natural to be compared to others, as Einstein put it very precisely “Everything is relative, and nothing is absolute.” But it is in our hands to what extent we let them effect us. Once you feel it’s going out of hand, SPEAK UP and say “That’s enough.”</p>

<p>Thanks a lot in advance. :slight_smile: </p>

6

<p>@BloodOfMyBlood</p>

<p>Oh ****. I just skim and thougth it was the same assignment. It acutually is:Should people be treated by what they are capable of achieving instead of what they have actually done?</p>

<p>I can’t edited it. Please just give me a score is okay, your comment is great. :smiley: </p>

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<p>@dokisame‌
Well that’s a relief!!
But even then your essay might get a 6 or an 8, at best.
The reason still stays: your essay has quite a few grammatical errors and is very short.
You need to build on your examples. Elaborate! Add anew example .
And as I mentioned in the other comment on the same thread, each paragraph should expand on the main point; add a different aspect to your thesis and support it with examples. Don’t just mention examples like that. A paragraph can also build upon previously mentioned example.
The SAT people always like it when you mention something about your upcoming examples in the introduction.
Thanx</p>

8

<p>It’d be great if someone reviewed my essay. I’m getting restless. :slight_smile: </p>

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<p>@ThisisIrritating wow, how can you write that fast? Do you have any writing technique, 'cause I’m struggling just to fill up both pages here. :(</p>

<p>I wrote another one. :smiley: I’m not sure, but I think this one it’s much better</p>

<p>Topic: Does every individual have an obligation to think seriously about important matters, even when doing so may be difficult?</p>

<p>People tend to give a facetious manner when confronting serious problems in life. Though it may helps them feel relieve, without deep reconciliation, finding the best answer seems improbable. There are many reasons for us to ponder insightfully, inferred from scientific history and my real-life experiences</p>

<p>Issac Newton is one of the greatest physicists who ever lived, and his famous contribution, “Gravitation”, is the perfect example for my argument. When he was sitting under an apple tree, an apple fell on his head. Who would care about a dropped apple, but a genius with a discerning mind? That mentality and curiosity begun all physics, technology and basically created everything we have today. By thinking seriously about a mundane phenomenon, Newton discovered one of the fundamental characteristics of physics and science; thus start human advancement.</p>

<p>The second occurrence came from my sister, but unfortunately, she learned it another way. When given a task at her university, she did not do it properly, thinking it was a joke. “Explain the success of Google, why? It is not like we are ever going to be as good as them,” However, unlike she previously thought, everybody else in class diligently researched and finished the task seriously. She was the only one with a failed mark. Even though it was not expelled her from school, she was embarrassed in front of her classmates.</p>

<p>To reiterate, no matter what the problem is, be serious. Do things the difficult way, and achievements will come.</p>

<p>I forced myself to write in just 20 minutes, so I actually fixed some grammatical errors I found when typing the comment. Should I do that next time? Thank you. :D</p>

10

<p>Guys I’m taking SAT this week but I don’t have anyone to grade my essay so please will you guys give me some help? thank you :slight_smile: Oh and I wrote this in 25 minutes and I’m practicing so time shouldn’t be a problem for me but do you think it’s a bit too long to fit in two pages? I’m a bit worried</p>

<p>We are living in a world in which teamwork and cooperation are essential tools for survival. As John Donne said, “No man is an island.” Yet, there are times when a person must separate himself or herself from a group and speak or act as an individual, even if to do so means rejecting the will of the group and breaking the bonds.</p>

<p>Assignment: Is it sometimes more important to stand as an individual rather than as a member of a group? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this question. Be sure to support your position with reasons and examples taken from personal experience, observation, reading, or studies.</p>

<p>ESSAY:</p>

<pre><code>It is more important to stand as an individual rather than as a member of a group for the sake of the individual him or herself and for the sake of the entire society. Girl’s Generation Jessica, the Mystery in Your Milk case, and Keith Haring clearly demonstrate the point that standing as an individual is more important.

The incident in which Girl’s Generation member Jessica withdrew from the team lucidly shows the importance of standing as an individual for the sake of herself. Girl’s Generation is a Korean pop girl group, which has been immensely successful not only domestically, but also globally. The team is consisted of 9 members, and each and every member has played a critical role in the group’s popularity and support. However, on September 30th, 2014, Jessica was officially withdrawn from the team because of her fashion business. Jessica’s agency told the media that it was Jessica’s choice to leave the team after Girl’s Generation’s most recent song Mr. Mr. and to focus more on her fashion brand, Blanc. It is well-known that Jessica always dreamed of attending design school and becoming a professional designer, and the press has already reported that Jessica is actually preparing for a design school in New York along with her fashion business. Considering all these, leaving the team and standing alone has provided Jessica with more time and opportunities to concentrate on what she really wants to focus on for the rest of her lifetime. Therefore, it is clear that the example of Jessica proves the importance of standing as an individual.

The case of the Mystery in Your Milk is also an example that shows the importance of standing as an individual. American journalists at Fox News Network Jane Akre and Steve Wilson were told to prepare the show “The Investigators.” While investigating, Akre and Wilson found out that Monsanto had been using bovine growth hormone (BGH), a chemical that is detrimental to humans, while advertising its “chemical-free” milk. The journalists decided to reveal the fraud only to realize that they have been fired and their show has been cancelled due to pressure by Monsanto. Although it was against the will of the Fox News Network and their fellow journalists, Akre and Wilson concluded that the public ought to know the big fraud played against the public themselves, so they filed a lawsuit against Monsanto and the Fox. As all matches between individuals and large companies end up, the result was not bright. However, what matters here is that the public finally got to know the story after all the hardships the two journalists had to endure all by themselves. Therefore, the case of the Mystery in Your Milk also adds to the claim that it is more important to stand as an individual for the sake of the entire society.

American pop artist and a social activist, Keith Haring is another example that demonstrates the importance of standing as an individual. He is well-known for his political images that express concepts of birth, death, sexuality, and war. One noticeable trait about Haring is that not only was he a homosexual and an AIDS patient, but was a very open one. The world back then did not welcome either homosexual or AIDS patient. In fact, most of the people fear to reveal their identities and were unwilling to do so. However, Haring was different; rather than remaining as a member of the group, he chose to stand before the population on behalf of homosexuals and AIDS patients by opening his conditions to the public. Although Haring died when he was only 31, his arts and position is raising awareness on the recognition of the homosexuals and the AIDS patients even until now. As from the example of Keith Haring, the importance of standing as an individual for the sake of the entire society is evident.

After a careful analysis of Jessica, the Mystery in Your Milk, and Keith Haring, one can clearly see that standing as an individual is more important than remaining as a member of a group for the sake of him or herself and for the sake of the entire society. Remaining as a member in a team makes one no different from other members in the team; it does no good. Standing as an individual is definitely a way of protecting and developing both oneself and the society.
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11

<p>@dokisame‌ </p>

<p>Thanks a lot for the compliment !
I usually spend a few minutes writing keywords to my examples. That i think is the trick, it doesnt take more than two to four minutes, depending on your connection to the topic, and organises your ideas. Rest is just pretty fast writing i guess. :stuck_out_tongue: </p>

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<p>I wrote another one! I wrote this in 20 mins, and tried to incorporate a few literary references, which I’m not much good at. I wrote another one and will post shortly. Please grade it, it’ll be a great help. :)</p>

<p>Topic: Is education primarily the result of influences other than school?</p>

<p>In today’s world, education is not limited only to courses taught in school, but has a wider scope. Educated people are different from those not only by their knowledge but also by hoe they carry themselves. Such habits, style and chic attitude cannot be “taught” by books, but is learned through practice and environment. This is clear from instances in the book “The Lord of Flies” and Charles Dicken’s “Great Expectations”.</p>

<p>In the age that the book is set in, education is parallel to dressing well an rich. Pip, in his efforts to woe Estella, spends all his inherited fortune on luxury and riches to match her lifestyle. later in the book, he is influenced by Joe’s loyal and unconditional friendship, and resolves to reform himself.Pip, in the novel, is one of the most gullible character in the book, who gets influenced by people, and thus learns more about them and himself.</p>

<p>Similarly, kids in my school bus never tire from imitating all they saw on TV last night, be it a newsreader, a cricket commentary or a new song that released the other day.Everyday, it’s a new thing. All this contributes to the holistic development of a child’s mind which becomes a part of their virtues as they grow up.</p>

<p>In another fantastic novel, The Lord of Flies, Ralph proves to be a better leader than Jack because of his ability to imbibe new qualities from his surroundings and keep evolving, while Jack concentrates on power, power and more power. His savagery influences the other kids into violence and it results in a bitter end of all except the two.</p>

<p>Thus, to be educated, in the true sense of the word, is to keep learning, from others and from the past, just like Ralph and Pip. It is imperative to not only thrive for literacy, but also thrive to learn.</p>

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<p>The other one. </p>

<p>Prompt : The most exciting thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science. He who does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer feel amazement, is as good as dead, a snuffed-out candle. —Adapted from Albert Einstein, “What I Believe.”</p>

<p>Assignment: In which ways have you experienced “the mysterious” and how has that made you feel alive and excited about life? Based on your experience or experiences, discuss how the above quote rings true and how science or art illustrates the “mysterious.”</p>

<p>Essay: </p>

<p>Mystery has always been a source of interest and speculation throughout history, be it works of art like DaVinci’s MonaLisa, or books like Agatha Cristie thrillers or feature films like “Inception”. The need to know more fuels our attraction towards the mysterious and the unknown. Something that ticks our senses gives us a high, that no drug in the world can induce. </p>

<p>Mystery and speculation has always surrounded the world of art. One source of constant intrigue is Leonardo Da Vinci’s famous piece, The Mona Lisa. Countless theories surround the piece. Some say that she is half a man, half a woman. Some say her smile cries of melancholy. Some also say that she is Leonardo Da Vinci’s female counterpart. The truth , we may never know. And that’s what makes the piece so famous and enigmatic.</p>

<p>Literature and movies also aretken to new levels by a hint of suspense. When I was younger, I was hooked to books by authors like Agatha Christie and Sidney Sheldon. It wasn’t the crime that fascinated me, but the sheer genius involved in solving it. Movies with open endings also sparks an interest in viewers. In movies like “Inception”, a viewer goes through all that the characters do, and in the end, they can’t help but wonder “Is he back into the real world, or is he still stuck in limbo?” But they will never know, all they can do is guess. </p>

<p>An enigmatic personality also draws a lot of attention. After all, who wouldn’t want to know more about such people? For instance, in H.G. Well’s “The Invisible Man”, all the villagers of Iping can talk about is the stranger who is staying at the “Coaches and Horses” inn. People discuss him endlessly, about his appearance, about his arrogant attitude, about how no one seems to have seen his face, or knows his name. Some even go to the inn to exclusively talk to him, but all they recieve is a door on their faces. Everyone in the town is suspicious yet excited about the new presence, even though his intentions are not clear. They keep on guessing about his past- from a criminal running away from the police to a sorry man who suffered an accident. The incoming of one person seems to have a huge impact on al the people of Iping. </p>

<p>Thus, mystery gives us a rush, which cold hard facts cannot. It makes us feel live, like we are a part of something bigger. It makes us believe that there is a lot more to be discovered, and we have barely scratched the surface.</p>

<p>Thanks in advance! :)</p>