please grade my essay!

<p>Assignment: Should friends be honest with each other, even if a truthful comment could be hurtful?</p>

<p>*My first example is kinda a stretch :( but i had to fit in a literary example according to rocket review...</p>

<p>Essay:
A friend is similar to a biological sibling, he or she will consistantly demonstrate a pretentious attitude. Because of his loving heart and mentality, he must illustrate his genuine thoughts and opinions about his friend, or else his caring efforts will render futile. Therefore, friends should be honest with one another, regardless of whether a legitimate comment could be hurtful. This is exemplified in the realms of literature and my life.</p>

<p>The notion that friends should be completely honest no matter what is illustrated in Ken Kesey's award winning novel "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest". Prior to McMurphy's death, he was brutally electricuted by the Nurse, leaving him in a state of chronic paralyzation. Bromden decide was the best decision to sever McMurphy's pain by endind his life. Therefore he proceeded to strangle McMurphy to death, detering him from living a disgraceful life. Bromden respected the friendship of McMurphy and therefore did what was best for him regardless of the outcome. Not even the prospects of death can thwart Bromden from honoring his true friend.</p>

<p>In addition to literature, the notion that friends should be truthful to one another is also illustrated in my interactions with friends. My friend Henry was in AP Biology class last year. His performance was mediocre at best and not measuring up to his innate capabilities. Receiving an "A" is possible had be given the subject more effort and time. As the midterms approached, Henry was engaging in his routinely lazy study patterns when I finally expressed to him my frustration. I could not understand why he carried such a lethargic aura in class and was afraid that his future will be not nearly as bright because of a letdown that I can notice him on. I lectured him, with hurtful remarks. Swears even came out of my mouth. But Henry finally came to realize his problem and is now striving to meet a set of decorums and more importantly, his unending potential.</p>

<p>A true friend should always tell his friend whatever is on his mind, regardless of the results. There might be situations when a friend contemplates hiding certain opinions and thoughts because he is afraid the those remarks might hurt the friend's feelings. The truth is, hiding those remarks and not being completely genuine will hurt the friend more. In an ideal world, a friend will never only have negative thoughts to offer. His positive remarks and encouragement is what builds the friendship, but his truthfulness and authenticity, regardless of the nature of the thoughts, are the true infrastructure of the friendship.</p>

<p>Your examples are bad.</p>

<p>First one isn't even about a comment. I can hardly relate it to the prompt.</p>

<p>Second one, it doesn't seem like your friend was hurt at all, maybe if you told him he was stupid and to leave the class.</p>

<p>any other takers?</p>

<p>I'd give it a 6. </p>

<p>The examples, as Ankur said, relate poorly to the prompt. Syntax is limited as well; try varying your sentence structure. Also work on transitions, as your ideas need to be linked better in order to easily convey a point to the grader.</p>

<p>However, your diction is, for the most part, excellent. You use descriptive and appropriate words to express your points, with occasional lapses.</p>

<p>Also don't feel obligated to pigeonhole a literary example in. If you can, then by all means do, but don't force it as you did with this one. Your personal experiences have just as much credibility, provided they are fully explained, related to the relevant topic, and tied in well.</p>

<p>Keep working!</p>

<p>There's no hook. I lost interest after the first sentence.</p>