<p>Momwaitingfornew--</p>
<p>What a kind and thoughtful response. </p>
<p>Laserbrother--</p>
<p>If you are still reading this, take momwaitingfornew's post #95 to heart and ignore most of the rest. Best wishes.</p>
<p>Laserbrother. you need a lighter heart to share with your daughter who probably already understands your values and expectations. Please keep in mind how much Emotional IQ and Personality contribute to success. Chicago and Wash U in St. Louis are extremes re expected stats. </p>
<p>Help her build up a more moderate list of fine colleges that match these scores. Leave improving her scores to her but help her not over extend herself so she has proper rest, balance, and time to study and keep her grades up to her best work. Let her know you believe in her future happiness based on who she is right now.</p>
<p>We set up a group of college visits for my S based on his early SAT scores cheerfully and made it fun and we made sure to see the best in each college he settled on by his late junior year. Many hundreds of US universities are full of fine professors and great learning opportunities.
Certainly not Chicago or Wash U for my son at first, but a mix of safeties and reaches that were realistic.<br>
He finally decided to sit down and review his errors on his SATs (You can order the actual test and answer sheet some of the sittings to review this) when he was nearing 18. Brains and emotions are young and developing all the time. My son did increase his scores his senior year on his own initiative and perhaps he simply matured physically and in abstract thinking..there is no timetable that is for every young adult. This messed up our college list. Of course now he in a reach school where he is ...guess what? AVERAGE> see what I mean. He has to work like the devil to stay alive. He would have done quite well at the first group of schools he targeted.<br>
Try the ACT when she is a bit older. Tell her she will likely do best on her SATIIs if she also practices the little test in the book the weekend before, but do not freak out if she is not in the top decile in these matters. </p>
<p>The real workplace values balanced people with social acumen and social graces and common sense, not just test taking savants. Make sure to praise her for her best qualities all along. These are your last precious years as her guide. She will move on from you in a handful of seasons....make each year a happy father daughter memory.
Before you know it, they have new guides in life. Make your guidance wise and loving always.</p>
<p>If LB is really a dad with a daughter that's being pushed to perfection, the last thing we should do is to be so rude to him that he doesn't come back. In fact, if he is real, he does seem to have toned it down, a bit, a small little bit, but at least it's in the right direction. I get the feeling that his disappointments aren't as much being aimed at his daughter now as they once were, but at her test scores. While that's a fine distinction, it feels like a move in the right direction. </p>
<p>He's also gotten some very good advice too. The option of having the test hand scored and how to have that done, the fact that CR has changed quite a bit from when his daughter took it in 8th grade, getting a college advisor for his daughter, just to name a few. </p>
<p>I have a suspicion that he is real, due to some earlier posts he made. He may be blending fact in with a lot of fiction, but there is at least an element of truth there. If nothing else, if you post advice to him, consider that maybe someone else who is pushing their child to the breaking point might be served by your thoughtful responses to LB.</p>
<p>re: "A math score of 760 is not disappointing"</p>
<p>Following are quotations from a Russian emigre afterschool math program, founded
by immigrants who were generally astounded by the low level of the US schools.
This appeared in a profile article in the Boston Globe some years ago:</p>
<p>
[quote]
''I got 660,'' said one red-headed boy, apparently proud of what is generally considered an excellent score. A perfect score is 800. </p>
<p>But Rifkin wasn't impressed. </p>
<p>''That's very low,'' she said. </p>
<p>Rifkin gave another boy some credit for scoring 720 - considering his age. </p>
<p>''And you're in ninth grade? It's good,'' she said.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Note that the school in question is meant to compensate for weaknesses in the
American schooling, it is not an SAT mill per se. No idea whether a 760 meets
their standards.</p>
<p>First of all, I want to thank several very kind people who answer my OP with exact imformation I was looking for. Secondly, I want to clarify that I am a real person, and real Dad of two very smart kids. Thirdly, I do realize that my view point is rather different than some of the people here. I came to ask for some real technical questions but instead I got bricked while severely wounded from an emotional impact.</p>
<p>Based on the kind advices, my D and I agreed on this plan forward: request a hand scoring of her SAT I, focus on AP classes and get A’s to enhance the transcripts, take the SAT II of the same subjects as AP so D will not need to put too much work, and sign up ACT with writing for June 9th. She will take SAT I again next October if necessary.</p>
<p>Let’s agree that everything is relative and one person’s “good” may be the others “not so good”. One’s standard typically comes from one’s environment. Among the people we associate with, 120K/y salary is on the low side, 150K cash is like pocket change, and 2200 SAT I is border line embarrassing. You have the right not to agree, but who says your standard is right and mine is wrong? </p>
<p>Why many of you keep picking the 760 math to make your case. Had D gotten that much in every section, I would not have been upset. </p>
<p>Let’s me show you a quote from a Chinese web site (Wenxuecity.com). </p>
<p>“女儿被哈佛大学，普林斯顿，MIT, Caltech 录取。全家都非常高兴。女儿一直都非常努力。</p>
<p>Here is her profile.</p>
<p>(1) perfect scores in PSAT (240), SAT(2400), 4 subject SATII (all 800) -- we thought this might against her in the application process since she got the perfect scores in every standard tests, and got 5 in all AP tests.
(2) more than 5 times state level math or science competition #1
(3) #1 in one musical instrument competition in the state
(4) chief editor for school newspaper and other local newspaper
(5) more than 700 hours community service</p>
<p>In summary, you need to be good academically, then needs to add some extra activities.” </p>
<p>This girl got in Harvard, Princeton, MIT and Caltech. And there are many of such profiles given yesterday on that BBS. It is very common and we see these kinds of stats every day.</p>
<p>Other than perfect scores and being a chief editor, my D has accomplished every thing this girl does. D even won a 2nd place on a national level academic competition. Because I believe my D is capable of getting nearly perfect score if she applies herself, why shouldn’t I push?</p>
<p>Great plan, LB!</p>
<p>"Other than perfect scores and being a chief editor, my D has accomplished every thing this girl does. D even won a 2nd place on a national level academic competition. Because I believe my D is capable of getting nearly perfect score if she applies herself, why shouldn’t I push?"</p>
<p>Because the thing that's missing from all these stats is what your DD wants. What does SHE want to do with her life? Your DD is not the girl on the website. They are two different people, with different strengths and goals. Man, I hated this kind of comparison when I was growing up. What is with Chinese families comparing stats on their kids? Are you going to be like my extended family (thankfully, not my parents anymore because I tell them nothing) when she's 30, where you're comparing your kids' salaries, house square footage, cars, and number of kids? Because the comparison game never, ever seems to stop.</p>
<p>Oh, ye. Emotionally, I might have to get some help and that is why I consume a 750 ml bottle of Whisky so quickly. Also, I do understand statistics ? there will always be outliers to the true population. Overall, those who get elite educations will have a better life. I got my under from China and Ph. D. from one of the lowest ranking U in US. Look where I end up. </p>
<p>I guess one may say something like ?the glass is half full? etc. I am the main inventor of 10 granted US patents (two in application process), left a R&D job from the world?s most admirable company, got almost 9% bonus last year etc. You could say I am doing better than 85% of the US population and I should be happy about that. But, how could you be happy comparing yourself to the guy washing windows at the traffic light. </p>
<p>The bottom line is that we see things differently and we should accept that. If you know something I am asking, please kindly give that to me. And I will politely thank you for your inputs/advices. Please don?t point finger at me because we think differently. Remember, pointing one finger at other mean point three at yourself.</p>
<p>MWFN, thank you very very much.</p>
<p>Laser, your D sounds very special and you've obviously done many many things as a parent to enhance her intelligence and make her so successful.</p>
<p>I just want to encourage you to think broadly about her college options. For every "perfect applicant" that you can show me at a top school, I can show you 3-4 just as impressive who didn't get in. So, focusing on perfection, high scores, etc. as the way to get to Cal Tech or Princeton, or whatever, is missing the message that some well intended people here are trying to give you.... yes, she could be perfect and get in to her (your) dream school. Or, she could be just as perfect and end up some place less impressive/prestigious but quite wonderful in other ways. Admissions Committees have the advantage of seeing thousands of applications as they pick and choose.... as parents, we only know the 20-30 kids in our kids HS (or 50-60) that we hear about, so it's not a very good sample which you can appreciate as a PhD. 30 kids from one town in Ohio who apply to Harvard, aren't giving us projectible results for the 21,000 kids who applied this year.</p>
<p>So, you've got time to pick a wide range of schools. As a niece of mine put it last year, "the kids we thought were going to Harvard ended up at Penn. The kids we thought were going to Penn ended up at Emory. And the kids we thought were going to Emory ended up BU." It's just going to be brutally competitive for the next couple of years, so in addition to laying out a plan for retaking the SAT's and doing well on AP's, you need to explore some options which you may not be familiar with.</p>
<p>I would think that Brandeis, Wellesley, Smith, Conn College, Vanderbilt would be strong match schools for your daughter based on the stats you've posted before. If you're continuing to hunt for merit aid or a lower ticket price as you had indicated on a previous thread, add Rice, McGill, Mt. Holyoke to the mix.... all highly prestigious, possibly affordable depending on the exchange rate, merit awards, etc.</p>
<p>There will always be someone better off that you. Always. Heck, Bill Gates could compare himself with the Sultan of Brunei and get depressed if he wanted. One thing that my parents DID teach me correctly is that the key to being happy is wanting what you have and appreciating all the gifts you have in life. (They also taught me "bloom where you are planted.")</p>
<p>Being happy, or not, with a situation is your choice. I'm sure the people on this board are willing accept the fact that you see things differently. But are you willing to give that same courtesy to your kids?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Need any more reasons?</p>
<p>LB,
I strongly agree with your DD deciding to take the SAT-IIs that correspond to her AP exams. Just one word of warning -- not all the SAT-IIs are offered in May (just before the AP exams are offered). The subjects that are offered on the May test date are listed about 2/3 of the way through the registration form (not in the general SAT-II info).</p>
<p>My DS was planning to take SAT-II World History in May (just before the AP WH exam). Now he may have to scramble to take it in June at a different location because he may be at another major EC activity. </p>
<p>My advice -- check which SAT-II tests are offered in May/June before DD registers for the June ACT.</p>
<p>Blossom, thank you. I have never say D will only apply to HYP and that is our intention whatsoever. What I am working with D is to get above the baseline so she will have at least a chance to be admmisted to an elite school.</p>
<p>Blossom, thank you. I have never say D will only apply to HYP and that is our intention whatsoever. What I am working with D is to get above the baseline so she will have at least a chance to be admmisted to an elite school. </p>
<p>BTW, those schools you kindly recommend may be all highly prestigious to you but most of the people we talk do not even know them at all.</p>
<p>Laser, I'm with you and I understand the program. You both may find your views on college changing as you start to visit campuses.... my son originally decided he did not want any U that did not have an engineering school-- until we visited U Chicago-- and he realized that he was defining his options too narrowly. (We all fell in love w/Chicago...)</p>
<p>So-- prepare to fall in love with a couple of unexpected places!</p>
<p>Laserbrother, this is not a put down of Ohio State*, but I'm willing to bet that everyone you talk to, knows Ohio State. Is that a good indicator or the caliber of a school? Don't judge a school by whether everyone you talk to knows it or not. Research!!!! </p>
<p>*I picked OSU only because LB lives in OH.</p>
<p>To echo Blossom and to take her post one step further, there are MANY kids at the top schools who did not have perfect SAT scores and grades. They exhibited spark and personality in their essays and ECs, which made them more desirable to HYMS (or whatever) than the "perfect" kids. Because the class size is limited, some perfect scorers are rejected (or accepted), just as some less-than-perfect students are accepted (or rejected). </p>
<p>The only SATIIs that are not recommended junior year are the language ones (and many aren't available anyway) since even a month or two of added instruction is beneficial.</p>
<p>I read this thread, and the OP, and I am reminded</p>
<p>"NO WIRE HANGERS"</p>
<p>what does his daughter need to do? oh a 760 is not too bad?</p>
<p>and his mission is to get her into an "elite" school, no mention of what she likes to do, her passions, her drives, her likes</p>
<p>nope this is all about daddy, and it makesme angry</p>
<p>wanting the best for your kids is one thing, wanted perfection and constantly comparing them to others is quite another</p>
<p>and add to that that daddy drinks alot</p>
<p>yeah, this is a fun thread</p>