<p>Please help me and tell me what you think and if this is a good transfer essay, I would really really appreciate it!</p>
<p>I grew up seeing stars. I loved being in nature, lying on a field of grass and looking up at the sky. I loved having someone besides me, someone who shared my passion, or was just there to enjoy mine.
As time passed I grew even more in love with nature and even more in love with people. My friends and I loved planting trees on our block, cleaning. We were determined to transform our little world. When the time came to think about a college education, I knew I wanted to study nature, ways to protect it, and ways to help it. I decided that I wanted to be an Environmental Studies major. As for the people, I wanted to be around people who would accept my interests, share their own and help me be successful. I was determined in my goals. I still am.
I attend Hunter College in New York City. When I go outside at night, I do not see the stars. I see a glimmer of the Ursula major, but I dont see many sister stars. I look up at the sky and mostly see darkness. I have met wonderful professors and people at Hunter, and I have taken classes towards my major that were fascinating, but I cant get enough. The Environmental Studies major at Hunter is largely based on Geology and Geography. The classes that I take will always be similar, always filled with too many people and will never feel personal. I know there is more to my dreams than that.
When I went to Oberlin this November, I saw the stars. I saw the stars in all their shapes and dimensions, all their different colors. I saw the stars wherever I went. I walked through the Adam Joseph Lewis Center, never wanting to walk out. I talked to professors and realized how much more an Environmental Studies major encompasses and how much more I can achieve through practical experiences and smaller classes. I want to be able to take classes that are centered on Environmental Studies and that range from Chemistry to Economics. I want to discuss subjects with everyone in my class or talk to my professor in the lunch room. I want to walk on a campus, in a place that shares my passion for nature.
At Oberlin, I met people who were so unique and so accepting passionate about anything and everything. I sat on a couch and cuddled with people. We didnt have to know each other extremely well to be comfortable with each other and to enjoy each others presence. These are the people I want to surround myself with and these are the people who will help me grow and change along with them. At Hunter, I walk down the hall and know that some people are here without knowing what they really want. At Oberlin, everyone is like a star. Everyone shines. Everyone works toward the same goals, even though everyone is exceptional and different. I want to join the stars. I know that at Oberlin I will look up at the sky with happy eyes and I will see them all and without hesitating point out and name each one.</p>
<p>Hey, I also go to Hunter College! I’m also trying to transfer…hopefully to UMich or UNC Chapel Hill…but my GPA isn’t that great. Lemme know if you get in! Good luck!</p>
<p>I’m international and in need in a lot of financial aid, so I hope I can get in haha Good luck to you too, but I will try to let you know if I do get in.</p>
<p>No, the application is due in January… loooong time, and the decisions come in May. Hopefully my GPA will be 3.6 (assuming I get all As this semester cause I have a couple of bad grades in some college classes I took in high school). And no problem :)</p>
<p>A 3.6 GPA is really good! I’m a sophomore now and I have a 3.35 right now so it’s low What are you planning on majoring in?
I was planning on going into pre-nursing (like every other Hunter student lol), but now I’m considering another major…maybe in statistics. But I’m only decent in math.</p>
<p>This isn’t that great. You make yourself sound more like a potential astronomy major with your star stuff. Other than that, your conclusion is extremely cheesy. </p>
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<p>Really? Cut the line about cuddling. </p>
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<p>Obviously you’d add more and make it sound better, but it sounds infinitely better to me compared to the original cutting out some stuff. </p>
<p>The reason you’re seeing darkness is because you go to a college in a city that creates enough pollution to the point where you can’t see them. I’m surprised you decided to go there as an environmental studies major and yearned to see the stars. If you had been an NY resident, I would be even more surprised. </p>
<p>You say “I want this” or “I want that”. It doesn’t make you come off as an eloquent writer. You would be much better off thinking of a newer way to phrase things. Maybe you shouldn’t say “want” but “need”. Word it better.</p>
<p>I don’t really see how talking about stars actually helps your case. Why are you talking about something extremely far away from earth rather than how the institution’s surroundings could help you achieve your goals? What is it about this college that makes environmental studies an attractive major to you? Is it surrounded by a lot of nature or what? I could see a link to pollution of New York City preventing you from being able to see them, but it should not compose a huge portion of your essay. Probably best said in a one-liner. It also sounds like you’re not a self-motivated person and you need a lot of hand-holding by saying you want people to help you be successful. </p>
<p>A dose of reality: There are people who go places who don’t know what they want at every single college. Every single one. People change their majors on average 3 times. You could say everyone is “star” at Harvard but ironically I read that the Unabomber recently updated his alumni information for this year’s 1962 reunion and Harvard was thoroughly embarrassed because he listed “8 life sentences” as his achievements. There are plenty of people from prestigious colleges that end up working as Starbucks Baristas or retail clerks. I personally know one from Brown. You generalize too much by saying everyone is this quality, everyone is that. Do you truly know this? I think some of your ideas are okay. You just need to rewrite probably a good portion of it. You can make this essay much stronger. Edit this and put more time into writing it.</p>
Do you know when the decisions come in? What was your GPA stats? Sorry for asking so much haha</p>
What are you planning on majoring in?