<p>....wondering why you persist in posting in the parents' forums since you find them so distasteful. Bored out there at UCLA?</p>
<p>You're wrong, its alright, you can admit it, the sky won't fall down.</p>
<p>Don't feed the troll.</p>
<p>OP , thanks for posting.</p>
<p>The person is not a troll. This person is just stating the truth.</p>
<p>The OP is blaming other people for her son's problems. It is not like the video game manufacturers glued him to his chair and made him play the video games.</p>
<p>4boyz1gal....I am sorry to hear that your son's addiction continued in college and worsened and that it has necessitated a leave from school at this time. I remember your story on CC at different junctures as you grappled with this in his later high school years and then I think you talked about suspicions that he bought a game system when he got to college and so forth. He obviously has an addiction and like others said, if not a video game, it may have been something else since he has addictive behavior. And once he was on his own at school, you could not intervene as much as you were doing when he was home. He has tumbled down the path once more. I know you must be devastated. But the main thing now is that he gets help because he needs it and until he can work on the addiction issues, he really can't succeed at college. If he gets effective intervention, he hopefully can return to his college. I get your point that video games can be addictive, but only certain people become addicted. So, the problem is the behavior not the vice. </p>
<p>I do feel for you as this problem has been ongoing and now it has come to this. But in a way, it is almost good that he has hit a rock bottom place where there is a major consequence (having to leave school) and now hopefully he will get the treatment he so sorely needs. Best to you during this trying time.</p>
<p>Thanks for posting OP. This must be a really difficult situation for your family to have to cope with. It was also very kind of you to share your sad experience with others on here. Why posters felt a need to attack you is beyond my comprehension (other than possibly its because they are very young men-- maybe this threatens them in some way). </p>
<p>It's completely understandable and normal to me that you'd feel frustrated with the gaming companies at this stage. Whose to 'blame' is a complex question to answer. Most of us have no problem holding cigarette companies, foreign countries or drug dealers partly responsible for some of the social ills that plague us, and I don't see the difference here. </p>
<p>But all that matters now is it will be up to your son to find his way out of it. He may not be a victim of a gaming company but he IS a victim of mental illness called addiction. And I would just like to add, contrary to the earlier post, there is no way this is YOUR fault.</p>
<p>Nobody was attackinig anybody. I just hate when parents blame other people for their child's problems.</p>
<p>Her son is in no way a victim. He did it to himeself. Nobody victimized him.</p>
<p>If the mother knew that her son had a gaming problem in high school, then she shouldn't have sent him away to college. She should have helped him correct the problem before it got any worse. So yes, I am partly blaming the mother.</p>
<p>Again, blaming the video game industry for the son's problems is ABSOLTUELY RIDICULOUS.</p>
<p>"(other than possibly its because they are very young men-- maybe this threatens them in some way)."</p>
<p>What threatens the young men? I don't get it.</p>
<p>LOL. This thread is "going to Hell in a handbasket". Sorry, OP. You deserved better.</p>
<p>OP--we also knew a bright kid in high school who was put on academic probation after spending a year playing video games to excess (and it was no Ivy). He spent 2 years on a mission for the LDS church where he had no access to video games and gained in maturity. Now he is back at school and doing well--with a new focus on schoolwork.</p>
<p>Best of luck to you. It may not be the fault of anyone other than your son; however, the pull of addiction is very strong and hard to break and there is no reason why you don't deserve our sympathy for your troubles.</p>
<p>Thank you for posting this cautionary tale. I want to send all the best to you and your son - addiction, be it to tobacco, alcohol or video games, can be incredibly difficult to overcome - but it can be done and you are taking the right first steps. </p>
<p>P.S. As for those above who have elected to trivialize your son's problem, I sincerely hope that they are able to continue in their ignorance and never have to deal with these types of issues in their own lives.</p>
<p>Who ever said the problem was insignificant?</p>
<p>The only person that is ignorant here is the mother. She has blamed and will continue to blame other people for her son's problems for the rest of his life.</p>
<p>
[quote]
The OP is very upset. She is angry at what happened and it is natural to strike out at the external influence (the games).
[/quote]
Just because it's natural doesn't mean it's right.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Through the treatment, she and her son will learn where the responsibility lies.
[/quote]
Might as well just tell her now. -_-</p>
<p>Anyways, how hard is it to prevent your child from having a $300 game console? Did you take it away and he bought another one? You shouldn't have let him have enough money to buy a video game console in the first place. He played it at friends' houses? Well then mandate that he finish all his school work before going out. I honestly don't know how this could be that hard to stop. It's not even like he was playing computer games, which he could then at least hide.</p>
<p>Anyways, my little brother has the same problem as your son, except with computer games. Were I my brother's parent, I would simply delete the game off his computer. Simple as that. Unfortunately, my parents are wimps when it comes to preventing him from wasting his life away on computer games, and thus he's getting away with it just as your son had. I find it a little frustrating, because it's so easily preventable (and it'll just be harder to prevent once your son and my brother become adults and thus can't just have their computer/video games confiscated).</p>
<p>Did you read the links Yawn? Doesn't seem so easy to me. A lot of parenting isn't.</p>
<p>I'm so sorry this is happening. </p>
<p>Independent of what your son does, please consider Al-Anon. The only person whose behavior you can control is your own. Al-Anon is not only for people who have alcoholics (active or sober) in their lives. It's for anyone with an addict in their life. You don't have to say anything in a meeting until you want to. Give it at least five meetings before deciding if that meeting is for you or not. </p>
<p>I hope you will consider doing this for yourself.</p>
<p>Take away the games and interest him in a more productive hobby. -_-</p>
<p>Really, it's failure enough to even let your child get to the point where he or she is addicted to video games.</p>
<p>yawn... let it be clearly stated - taking away the source of ones addiction does not make the addictive disorder go away. It's not that easily preventable. People almost always substitute one addiction for another unless they go through a recovery program. If you can just take a game away and there are no feelings of loss or grief that the item is gone, then there was never a true addiction to begin with. The manner by which the addiction is manifest might be gone, but they will discover other things to get addicted to... exercise, gambling, sex, food, etc. A person is addicted to something when their need for that 'thing' supercedes most everything else in their life to the detriment of their health, ability to function in life, and relationships. If taking the 'thing' away was the cure-all for addictions, we could cure alcoholism by removing it from an addict's house. You also have to realize that addictions don't necessarily need a 'thing' to manifest themselves. People can be addicted to excitement, rage, etc. to the point where, in choosing it over healthy behaviors, they isolate themselves from their families and loved ones. </p>
<p>This is not as easy to recover from as some of you are suggesting, and once an addict, you're always at risk for relapse, but not necessarily with the same addiction you practiced before. Ever hear the term 'dry drunk'? It is not the parent's fault, and it is not the video gaming industry's fault.</p>
<p>"Really, it's failure enough to even let your child get to the point where he or she is addicted to video games."</p>
<p>Exactly yawn. I don't know why some people think the mother is not at fault.</p>
<p>
[quote]
This is not as easy to recover from as some of you are suggesting
[/quote]
</p>
<p>I used to be a firm believer in "Just say no" until I gained weight and tried to take it off. That gave me great sympathy for anyone trying to kick an addition.</p>
<p>"It is not the parent's fault"</p>
<p>Why isn't it the parent's fault? This has been going on since high school. It was the parent's responsibility to monitor their kids.</p>
<p>If my kid was sitting in his/her playing video games for hours on end, I would definately have a talk with him/her. If it continues, I would immediately get help for my child. </p>
<p>The problem here is that the addiction has prolonged for too long and it wil be a lot harder to correct the problem now than when he was in high school.</p>