Please revise my appeal letter to UCSB!!!!!

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of California - Santa Barbara
1

Unfortunately I got rejected from UCSB… UCSB is my top choice and i plan to appeal for a second review. I want to get into my major as chemical engineering or at least get put onto the waitlist.

Here are my stats:
GPA (weighted): 4.00
GPA (unweighted): 3.64
SAT: 1660
ACT: 24
Weak EC’s

HERE IS THE APPEAL LETTER:
Dear Admission Review Committee,

I am writing to appeal for admission at UCSB. After seeing my denial of admission I was devastated. I have come to realize that if I were accepted to UCSB I would not take it for granted and I would perform to the best of my abilities and more. It is my goal with this letter for you to see my transformation and to change your mind. Therefore, I hope this letter finds an understanding, compassionate, and forgiving person.

My senior year is a reflection on how I push myself even in conditions when a normal person would relax. I took on the workload of two AP classes out of the five classes I am enrolled in. These two AP classes may not seem as much, but they’re one of the hardest AP classes offered at my school (AP Calculus AB and AP Physics 1). I currently have a 4.2 GPA and plan on making it even higher. This rigorous class schedule has completely changed me into a more studious and responsible man. I completely changed my study routine and now spend much more time on studying and homework. I am greatly more committed than I was when I first admitted my application. I plan on taking this into college and using it to help me excel.

I feel as if my SAT/ACT scores did not summarize my abilities. It is completely my fault for not doing well on the SAT/ACT’s but I also feel like there were some circumstances that definitely made me score way below my ability. The first time I took my SAT I was bedridden with the flu. I wasn’t fully recovered at all and definitely not in the school mindset when I took the test. My second and final SAT score was so low because it was the last one I could take and I was overly stressed out and found out at the end of the critical reading section that I was filling in the wrong bubbles. After realizing this I was only able to fix a little more than half the bubbles in time. For the ACT, I felt it was slightly easier than the ACT, but the main reason for my low score was the timing for both times. I believe that if I was able to take the ACT/SAT one more time I would get a substantially higher score.

Also, I wish i could’ve had participated in more extracurriculars, but it was tough due to the distance between my home and my school. Time would have greatly impacted my stress and grades. However, I did have opportunities to help the community by volunteering at my local library and PetSmart, obtaining 652 community service hours.

Another reason why I am so determined to attend UCSB is because UC Santa Barbara’s Chemical Engineering Department. It truly captured my attention and it certainly encourages me to strive further in my area of interest in science and engineering. The Department’s internationally recognized scholar, educators, Todd Squires and Bradley F. Chmelka has impacted my determination to attend UC Santa Barbara. Without doubt, I know these highlights of UCSB’s Chemical Engineering will help me gain profound knowledge and interest to the field of my chosen major. Getting into UCSB is my dream and I plan on giving it 110 percent If admitted.

Through my improved grades and my determination to excel at UCSB I feel like I would be a great addition to the Gauchos. denied from all the schools I applied to and really hope I can get into a deserving UC campus because I know it will really benefit my academic STEM background. I really wish to attend UCSB because it is my dream school. I fell in love with campus and hope to attend the School of Engineering as an undergraduate freshman pursuing a B.S. in chemical engineering. If not, I hope i can get into my alternate major, B.S. Chemistry, or make it on the waitlist. Thank you for your time and patience to read this letter.

2

UCSB admitted 95 students out of 925 appeals last year. 66 of which were already on the waitlist. So you basically have 3% chance of being accepted with this.

3

@meriks Well i at least want to a give a shot at it even if i have a .0001% chance of getting in. Do you think this letter might work?

4

@serevicfrode oh I totally agree with you, better 3% than no chance. So try of course. But I just wrote that so you could have a clear idea of your chances and start thinking about alternatives where you can be happy as well :slight_smile:

About the essay, I don’t think you should try to find excuses for your low SAT. Write about what is good about you, and not what you failed. Focus on the reasons why they should accept you. Also don’t say you were denied at al schools you applied, you don’t want to play the pitty card on this one. It actually be better if they saw you were accepted at a good other school but you still appeal at UCSB, it shows interest. You don’t want to look desperate, you want to look strong. Overall you should probably rewrite it partly, and get rid of the excuses on why you couldn’t do this and why you didn’t score that. I can tell you wrote this in a rush. Think about it, and rewrite it putting focus on why they should pick you and not the 900 other guys on the waitlist.

Good luck !

5

@meriks thank you! I will revise it and post it again later for more revision. I did do this in less than an hour, so im going to put my all into it

6

I am not familiar with appeals or admissions but just from reading your letter, I would say no.
For instance, you are just making up excuses for your low scores. Sure, there are many factors than come into play when one takes theses tests which might affect their performance, but one has to be able to face these (as much as possible). You also don’t show why you believe you would do better if you were to take the exam. Anyone could just say that he will get a +2200 if he had one more chance.
The paragraph explaining why you want to attend is lacking. All you are saying “It has good academics and a renowned reputation.” They know that; they also know people apply for these reasons. There are many people who have better reason for attending. Why did the university capture your attention (aside from what I stated)? Why does it encourage you to strive further in your area of interest (my two cents: if you were really interested or passionate about something, your encouragement shouldn’t come from a university, an institution shouldn’t the force behind who you are and what you do)? What will help you gain “profound knowledge and interest” to your major (again, you should already have interest)? The “highlights” you mentioned (which are not unique to UCSB) won’t make you smarter; a rank alone won’t teach you chemistry, a reputation alone won’t give you the opportunities to succeed. Finally, why is this school your dream?
You need concrete facts from bot your life and the university. How will you use their resources to become the best person you can be? How will you use your own motivation to be the bet person you can be? You don’t need to get to UCSB to give your “110 percent.” You should always be giving your best if it is something you love.

7

Also you said “For the ACT, I felt it was slightly easier than the ACT” should be SAT.

8

Dream school or not, most appeals are won on having new and compelling information. Other than you have worked hard at a rigorous Senior schedule, I see nothing new or compelling that would change your admission status. You will never know unless you try and wish you Good Luck.

9

Don’t dole out the excuse cards; your appeal letter seems like you are doing that. Even though appeals have a small percentage of being won, that doesn’t mean you can’t try. Focus on the positive and why you are a good candidate. Show UCSB who you are and what they might have missed in your application.

10

Your essay is way too long. I didn’t even want to finish it. Remember that admissions officers read 1000’s of essays per year. If you don’t capture their attention in the first few sentences they will quit reading. Your entire essay should be the length of your 3rd paragraph. They don’t care why you didn’t do better on your SAT’s, or that you were devastated on learning you weren’t accepted ( everyone was), or that APs were the hardest at your school. They want to know if they missed something when they reviewed your app the first time or if you forgot to tell them something. What do you have that makes you unique and what can you offer to the school to make you a valuable asset?

From their website:
"To appeal for fall quarter 2015, send us a letter requesting that we reconsider your application. The letter must be written by the applicant. Appeals received after the deadline may not be considered. Email or fax submissions will not be reviewed.

Postmark Deadline
Freshman applicants: April 15, 2015
Transfer applicants: as soon as possible before August 1, 2015
The letter must state the applicant’s reasons for appealing the initial decision. The letter should not simply repeat information that was presented in the application. If the basis for the appeal is a changed grade or an incorrectly reported test score, please provide documentation (such as a transcript or a revised score report) in the same envelope as your letter of appeal.

Recommendations
We recommend that you include copies of all high school and college transcripts.
Letters of recommendation are not required. If letters are included, the limit is two.
Submitting an Appeal
Mail documents in a single envelope to:

Admission Review Committee
1210 Cheadle Hall
University of California, Santa Barbara
Santa Barbara, CA 93106-2014"

11

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/california-colleges/1476061-help-on-appeal-letter-to-ucsb.html

honestly i wouldn’t copy someone else’s essay and change the words around.

12

Since you posted it here, its now on the web for anyone with a search engine to find and copy. http://■■■■■■■.com/lln5x97 See the top link

13

Hello,

I was one of the 95 people who appealed and was accepted into the school. However I was waitlisted first and even then I was admitted to UC Davis and UCLA.

My HS stats:
GPA: 4.2
Sat: 1880
Strong Essay
Strong ECs

Reasons why I was waitlisted:
GPA was decent, but not super strong. SATs were not super high. Impacted major.

From reading your appeal letter, it sounds whiney and entitled. UCSB accepted only 27% of applicants this year and getting into the engineering school here is notoriously hard. Please don’t take this school lightly, regardlyess of its party scene it has stellar academics.

The reasons why you were rejected are clear - low SAT and ACT scores for the college as a whole. Your GPA however is high enough but not high enough for the college of engineering. You also lack ECs to make up for it which isn’t good.

Your appeal letter if just begging you to take them in. I’m going to dissect it, one by one. Your intro is whiny and guilt tripping - not professional at all. Your second paragraph - only two AP classes? I was waitlisted with 10 under my belt, 5 taken senior year including AP Calc. You’re more studious than before? Well colleges want a person who was studious to begin with. Your ACT/SAT scores are low? That’s your own fault. Kids grind through taking these tests sick with the flu, with broken arms, and other disabilities. If you want to prove you’re more capable, then you should have taken the test again under “normal” conditions to compare. Your lack of ECs is also an excuse. I live 45 minutes from my high school, my ECs were off the charts. If you want to put in the time, you put in the time and find the effort to do what you want to do. You have a lot of service hours, thats good, but it was probably already in your original draft. You say you’re “deserving of a UC education”. Why? Because you’re just saying that. You have above a 3.0, good you’re UC ELIGIBLE, not UC ENTITLED. With that attitude, I can have a 3.1 and say I deserve to get into Cal. Doesn’t work that way.

Basically you have NO new information and you’re just making excuses. A gaucho does not whine or complain to make up for his or her’s shortcomings. Take responsibility.

Rewrite your appeal letter. Delete anything that makes you seem entitled or deserving. Be humble, do not try to play on the empathetic side of the admission’s person. Why? Because they’ve read stories that are more heartbreaking than yours and they’ve rejected them. They do not care. Add new information, new/higher GPAs, grades, and test scores. New awards or extra curriculars. This is what I included in my letter, and I sent in transcripts, photocopies, pictures, and print outs as proof of what I accomplished between November and March of my senior year- and I did a lot.

If you did not do anything new or better, then I’m sorry but you’re going to have to accept that you have been rejected.
I know I’m harsh, but I can’t stand people not taking responsibility for their actions. So take responsibility for yours.

14

Holy crap. OP, why would you do that?

The letter needs to be greatly shortened. Focus almost entirely on the new information about your accomplishments since you originally applied.

Edited to say that the plagiarized sentences are some of the worst in the original letter. “I hope this letter finds a understanding, compassionate and forgiving person.” The stuff about the wrong bubbles was lifted as well. At least OP didn’t include the bit about chasing the big butterfly!