<p>You’re still forgetting to use an article. (I.e. he is an example.)****</p>
<p>your score for it?</p>
<p>Quick suggestions to you and any others: Avoid mentioning Hitler. It’s hard to imagine any essay that would be improved by including him.</p>
<p>Rosa Parks would be an excellent choice for a discussion of identity–you have already written a little about her before, Suleyman95. Essentially, anyone whose life has had a dramatic turning point will make a good example for this topic. Rosa Parks gained her national identity with her decision to stay in her seat near the front of the bus.</p>
<p>In responding to this question, you would ideally discuss the development of a person, from a simple starting point (name, family, birthplace) to a complex human being with a full identity.</p>
<p>Van Gogh could be a great example for this topic, but you would need to provide specific facts that show how his distinctive style developed. Your list (periods, styles, techniques) is not very useful for this purpose.</p>
<p>Ghandi would again make an excellent example, because his life took a very different direction from the one that might have been expected, based on his birthplace and early career. Ghandi’s wife could also make an interesting example–she shared Ghandi’s philosophy, but she had a hard time embracing it fully, particularly when it came to performing menial tasks that were traditionally assigned to those without a caste.</p>
<p>Malcolm X would also be a good example for this topic–he changed his name to reflect the new identity that he was adopting. While Malcolm X is somewhat controversial, he is widely recognized as an important African-American leader. You could obtain a lot of useful facts about the background of Malcolm X from watching the biographical film about him, starring Denzel Washington. (This is also a really good film.)</p>
<p>^ I disagree with your remarks about Hitler. I actually thought that Suleyman’s usage of Hitler greatly supported the central focus that identity is formed from actions. Just because he was an evil man (to put it kindly) does not mean you have to shy away from using him in an essay. Just don’t use him in the cliche way (i.e a really evil man was Hitler). As I said though, Suleyman used Hitler in a way to support his essay which shows critical thinking.</p>
<p>@Suleyman: You should say “Identity is not only” rather than “Identity it’s not only”. You did that a few times in your essay.</p>
<p>And to your request, this essay I imagine would be anywhere from a 6 to an 8, (but more likely a 6 or 7).</p>
<p>Just fantastic! I have just made CR. Result: 460. I amazed!
But WR is still bad. 450-500
Math is very good but not perfect 650-700.</p>
<p>*assuming that I finsihed only first volume of Direct Hits.</p>
<p>In the thesis, I would be very careful using the word ‘prove’.
Use ‘demonstrates’ instead</p>
<p>Oh Another thing, avoid extremes. You seem to use them a lot. “every student know about Hitler”
That is too extreme. I’m positive that not all students know about him.
Use “most”</p>