Please score my SAT essay! (0-6) + Improvements

<p>Assignment: Is deception ever justified?</p>

<p>In society, many ignorant and stubborn people deliberately put themselves in harm's way. No mather how hard their family and friends persuade, the would never listen. Therefore, for the sake of our loved ones, deception is inevitable.</p>

<p>Lies can save lives."The last leaf", written by George O'Well, taught me this important lesson. Bedridden because of pneumonia, Johnsy gave up hope on life. Looking at the window, she decided that, when the last leaf falls, I will breath my last. Her sister, Sue and an old painter, Berhman pleaded her to live, but she didn't listen. One night, a heavy storm came. Johnsy looked at 4 leaves feebly clinging to the vine and she was certain of her fate. The next morning, she was surprised when she looked out of the window: one leaf was still there. Inspired, Johnsy regained her will to live. When Johnsy has fully recovered, she found out that Berhman died from pneumonia. On that stormy night, Berhman drew that painting on her window, when the last leaf has fallen.
In this story, why is deception deserved to be praised instead of criticized? Lies are usually frown upon by society because they are used mostly for self benefit and harming others. However, Berhman didn't lie for his own gain. He was able to change a Johnsy, who was determined to die into a person determined to live. Berhman saved her.
That's why, deceiving to save a person you love is fully justifiable.</p>

<p>I’ll give you a 4/6. I think you should definitely work on organization. For instance, one literary example isn’t enough! You’ll need one more at least to strengthen your point. Also, include more statements about YOUR point of view in the story example–don’t just show it by rewriting the story’s plot. </p>

<p>In your last sentence, you stated your thesis in a clear and concise way. This should have been done in the beginning of your essay.</p>